Due February 2025 - Thread 3

[UrbanSquirrel]

Following on from the two existing threads, welcoming all the intrepid ladies due in February, for further excellent support 🤗

I'm coming up to 28 weeks and think (maybe) a pattern of movement is establishing! Unfortunately the pattern seems to a couple of very vigorous days followed by a couple of of days of baby recovering from her exertions. 🤷

I have yet to call or call into MAU, but would if I were feeling genuinely concerned - there's no point sitting with the anxiety, I don't think.

ETA - @ThisLimeDeer I have definitely had VERY quiet days, and even a couple of days where poking/prodding/icy drinks would result in just a single (I assume, disgruntled 😅 kick). I remind myself that she is still really small, has plenty of room and that I am probably only feeling like 10% of her movements (just the particularly vigorous ones). So that one movement is enough to reassure me, personally.

Just following on from this, I had a scan at 24 weeks and baby was bouncing everywhere especially on my cervix and I couldn't feel a thing where as now the bouncing or punching my cervix I can most definitely feel 😅

@retrievermum thankyou! I do keep trying to tell myself this. Although this is my third but a very big age gap.
Also having a sickness bug and catching campylobacter in the matter of 3 weeks I'm terrified it's affected the baby's development.
But I have a scan in 4 weeks so will find out then.

I forgot about all this anxiety 🤣

@UrbanSquirrel i was wondering to ask for a C section because of my fibroid as it has been quite painful and if I could I'd like to get rid of it at the same time (but apparently is quite complicated) so, at some point I'm going to ask for it. I need to research about pros and cons about it though. And I'm going to go to bottle feeding so, I'm in your team. 🍾

Tbh, I think that we should be able to freely decide what's the best in our situation (as long as not out in risk our life or the baby's one) without being judged. Because, at the end of the day it's our body and our lives. Respect and be respected, that's my motto. 😉😊

Quite right @Piluka! Fully supporting everyone in making their own choice, that's the way forward ☺️

So, I said I would update everyone about the famous Birth Options meeting last night. It was actually really useful. We met with a senior midwife, as in our NHS trust you apparently don't need to see a consultant to approve you for a C-section (yet another way that all trusts seem to be different!). I explained that I had asked for a section and my reasons behind it, and that I had read widely about it. She accepted everything but offered some counter considerations for some of my concerns, not in a 'I will change your mind' way, but more 'bear in mind'. There was a lot of info about the actual experience of both sections and vaginal births, the risks involved and so forth.

I even mentioned our plan to formula feed, and the reasoning for that, and she was very understanding, and made no attempt to dissuade us, but suggested we also attend a Teams session about breastfeeding to make sure we have all the info about everything just in case.

The point she made really well was that it's great to have a Plan A but you also have to think of a Plan B that you're happy with. For example, if I go into labour early, and am either too advanced for a section, or Theatre is busy with an emergency, she wants to give me tools so that I can come to terms with needing to give birth vaginally. And that's great.

Our trust really does seem to be amazing (shoutout to Kingston Hospital, whoop!). They seem incredibly open to using pain relief (to the point that, if I'm in pain and not able to make a decision with a clear head, they offer an epidural to allow you the clarity to decide properly). All in all DH and I came away feeling very reassured. Amazingly, delayed cord clamping is now standard for all c-sections. If for any reason baby does need to leave theatre before me, DH is very welcome to accompany her.

Not quite sure how but I have allowed myself to be talked into a free pregnancy yoga course over the next four Saturdays 🤣

Several times she asked if we would like to put together a play list for the birth, so DH and I were sniggering like a couple of kids last night, with ideas ranging from party classics like YMCA, to 'We've Got to Get Out of this Place' and 'Bat Out of Hell', to a playlist where all the songs have the word 'Born' in the title, ie 'Born This Way', 'Born to be Wild', 'Born in the USA' etc.

To be fair, I am the kind of person where they might be expecting Enya or soothing whale music, and I'll rock up with the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack...

PS We also have an appointment to visit a nursery this afternoon, and I've spent this morning filling in a questionnaire for our forthcoming Will Aid appointment, because we thought, with Madam on the way, we'd better get stuff like that sorted. Feel very accomplished but also depressingly grown-up 😂

@UrbanSquirrel yay I’m so glad it was all so positive! When do you get booked in?

Be careful with your playlist, I put one on in a panic when we went for our EMCS with DD and she ended up being born to Get Low by Lil Jon haha!

I’m so annoyed and just need a little vent! I just went all the way to the hospital for my “25 week appointment” which was booked for me after my 20 week scan, sat and waited for 45 mins & then went to the reception desk and asked how much longer the midwife would be as I needed to leave by 3 (appointment was at 1.45). Was told she was on her dinner but wouldn’t be long. At 14.40 the midwife came out and said I was “early” as it was 28 weeks I was meant to have the appointment rather than 25 weeks… they were the ones who booked the appointment for me! Argh, it’s so annoying as I’m not feeling well at all and now having to rush back to work to get something finished I could have done earlier instead of sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

Hi ladies, I've a bit of an experience to share. I'm currently waiting to be admitted to hospital as my waters are leaking. Apologies for the tmi, but for a few weeks on and off I've noticed (damp underwear not a massive amount but noticeable) and a sweet smell. I remember someone posted on this thread or another about amniotic leaks and it smelling like semen and I remember worrying oh could this be that, and then thinking no no I'm over reacting. I'm a naturally anxious person and so I've been chastising myself and not done anything about it. We were meant to go away for a much needed stay cation on Sunday but I noticed the symptoms most days this week and called the midwife advice line thinking ill just get some reassurance. They were very understanding and didn't make me feel stupid but also said probably nothing to worry about but sure come down anyway to get checked out. Few hours later and it's confirmed that's what's wrong.
I've a fear of cervical exams and have had two so far with gas and air and still freaking the f out 😂
Touchwood they seem happy I'm not going into labour right now (I'm 27 weeks Sunday) but I'll be admitted to keep an eye on me for one to two days min, they've started me on antibiotics as there's a risk of infection in the womb and sepsis which would endanger both of us, and if I get out of hospital I'll have to be closely monitored for the rest of the pregnancy. Twice a week scans, bloods and swabs. If I go into labour early they said its better to go vaginal that section which is a nightmare for me too but no point worrying about that now.
Sorry I'm totally rambling now as I'm tired and in shock but I just wanted to share that as; 1. If it hadn't been for mumsnet and someone else's post I'd not have known there was an issue, 2. Don't be like me and if your worried about anything just go get checked if even for peace of mind, 3. Birth options a timely chat, I guess like others have been saying be prepared for best laid plans to maybe go poof lol.
So very long message to share my experience but also just say thank-you to everyone else who has shared theirs and because of that's has helped me get this picked up <3

@SBelfast Forgive the brevity but just wanted to send MASSIVE hugs and say that I'm thinking of you and hope all stabilises very soon. Thank you so much for flagging it to the rest of us as something to be aware of, and well done you for going in to get it checked. Please keep us updated - you are obviously in the best place you can possibly be, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your plans don't need to change. Lots of love xxx

@SBelfast That was probably me that posted before about losing fluid. Still freaking out sometimes with how watery the discharge looks. Good for you for getting it checked!! If you don’t mind me asking did they say that the fluid looked ok on your 20 week scan? There is a special measurement just for that. I’m glad you are being taken care of and it looks like the baby is still not coming straight away which gives it the highest chances to thrive. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. You’ll be on my mind.

@SBelfast oh Gosh, that sounds so stressful! But you’re completely right that there’s so much value in sharing our experiences here ❤️ I will be thinking of you and hoping that the antibiotics sort you out 🤞🤞🤞

@UrbanSquirrel thank you for sharing the birth options appointment summary! Really put my mind at ease for if they offer me one too. Definitely think back up plans are the key for all of us!

Thank-you @UrbanSquirrel, @EastLondonCoffeeFiend and @Kumquat89 appreciate the messages! And @Kumquat89 if not for your original post I'd not have known anything was wrong!!! So massive thanks ❤
My 20 week scan was all normal they were happy with everything and didn't mention the fluid. I think it started maybe a month or so ago so around 23 weeks I'd estimate....so maybe that's why my last scan was fine. That said I had a scan today before the amniotic fluid test and it looked fine and the doctor said based on it she was surprised it was positive. So one of those things I guess! Maybe hard to pick up when it's a slow leak.
The test would have been easy if I wasn't phobic is basically just like a smear and they test the swab in 5 mins using something like a covid/pregnancy test and two lines is positive.

Sending love @SBelfast well done for getting it checked! They will keep a close eye on you and baby and sounds like they have it all under control. Keep us updated, thinking of you x

@UrbanSquirrel thanks for updating us on the Birth Options, that actually sounds so useful! It's a shame not all trusts do that. I'm also leaning towards asking for a planned CS after my last birth which ended in a forceps delivery and an episiotomy. I am seeing my midwife this week for my 28 week appointment, not seen her since august! So I will discuss it with her. Xx

This really made me chuckle 😂

@Redapple21 it made me laugh too, hopefully this one is born to something slightly more appropriate (although WAP is on the playlist!)

Wow @SBelfast - great that you got it checked it out and that you're being monitored so closely.🤞 that everything will be ok. Is the advice to try for a VB rather than a CS because of the risk of bacteria from the amniotic fluid entering the wound? Sorry, I'm just curious - please ignore this q if too invasive.

Hi @QuantumPanic no I think the registrar said it was because of the fact the wombs not developed enough for childbirth this early and they'd have to do a vertical cut as opposed to a horizontal. But not sure what that means I imagine harder to heal etc, he didn't go into too many details and was information overload at that point. If I find out I'll let you know though, don't mind the questions at all.
I'm currently on a maternity ward that does post and pre natal but a lot of newborns so didn't sleep much. An insight into hopefully a few months from now!

@SBelfast I’m just happy you are well. It’s probably a very slow leak and baby has still plenty of fluid. Do you still feel movement ?
haha sleep training for you. Tough though after all this mental, physical and psychological exhaustion not to be able to rest. I hope you can go home and get some more quiet time.

@Kumquat89 thanks :)
Yes still movement and some big kicks since last night. Yesterday I thought I noticed it less but its still so hard to tell I've not noted a pattern just routinely feel him throughout the day. Pregnancy is stressful! Lots for us all to feel anxious about 😊

@SBelfast yes definitely so stressful for me too. There are some women that express to me how much they enjoyed their pregnancy and I always think… good for you but I’m not having the same experience. There are some true moments of joy but it has been mostly stressful overall. Maybe because it’s my first one 🤷🏻‍♀️

I suppose most of us don’t have a pattern with movements. I’m not a doctor but read that if your little one has enough space to move/kick it has water around it.

Just to add to this. I had an ELCS in late 2019. I had experienced some trauma from previous surgery and I just wanted to have some control over the process and plan for a specific recovery. It was a bit of an ordeal to get it ‘approved’ in the hospital but I got there in the end. The experience itself was very positive and went as planned. I am planning another ELCS now. I also formula fed and had decided this before I gave birth. Have no regrets!

Hope you’re doing as ok as can be! Thank you also for sharing