@herewegoagain123456 i feel like yourself. I love him a lot but I don't like going through all of this (nauseas, body changes, mood changes, constant worrying and how my body is going to look after this) while his life/body/health/mood is the same.
I find comfort thinking it's temporal and sooner or later it would pass. My body/health would be the sameish (🤞🥸🤞 at least I'd do my best to try) and my moods would be stable again. So, don't beat yourself too much, it's quite normal to feel like this as our bodies and minds are going through a lot as part of the process.
We don't have family neither friends in the UK both of us feel quite alone, specially now. But, I don't allow myself to be too sad for a long time. What's the good of it? It just drives you to be depressed. And honestly thius is the last thing you need now. So, try to find the positive part of it. I think about how many good medical staff I came across (except one) and how lucky I am that my baby is healthy even though everything. I have some friends who I can talk about it despite the distance and others they've never been there but they can listen.
You also have us as a community. I found it very valuable to read everyones comments, fears, dreams and stories and find out they are the same or very similar, so made me feel less alone as we are going through the same. Honestly, try to see the good around you and you'll see how lucky you are. 😊 It sounds cheap but it works for me.