Due July 2024 - part 5

[Oatmilktea]

Starting a new thread as the old one is filling up.

Many of our July babies have already arrived, hopefully the rest make their arrival soon 🩵🩷

I feel like a horrible mummy. We came home from my friend's house yesterday and baby would not settle down. He kept crying, I kept crying, and I lost my temper and was swearing at him under my breath. I know damn well he was picking up on my stress. Eventually cuddled him to sleep after getting him bathed (absolute disaster, especially as I got water everywhere and he puked all over himself and his towel afterwards) and myself showered, which he started crying halfway through. Said cuddling happened on my bed and I nearly fell asleep with him. He's been asleep ever since and I've just woken up and got his bottle ready. Bit late for his feed really.
I definitely need to stop worrying about my neighbours (block of flats where I'm not allowed to have a baby) and worry more about said baby.

@ceruleansky so sorry you’re going through this. Your DH has been very selfish and it isn’t fair making you feel like this at such a vulnerable time. How have things been between you since posting?

@missmoosh that sounds painful, I’d suggest phoning the national breastfeeding helpline if the GP isn’t any help. They’re very clued up on aches and pains that affect breastfeeding and stoping breastfeeding.

@SapphireSeptember you’re not a horrible mummy at all, that sounds like it was really stressful for you. I’ve also almost fell asleep with baby in the bed and got such a fright and worried about the what ifs. I then researched up the ‘safe sleep 7’ and am now prepared for safe bed sharing if I ever need it which is a lot safer than accidentally falling asleep with baby in my arms or on me. It must be so stressful worrying about your neighbours hearing your baby. What would happen if neighbours heard the baby, would they report you for having a baby in a block of flats where you’re not allowed to have one? I’ve never heard of such a rule!

@Oatmilktea I know, it's a stupid rule! These are studio flats so not really suitable for a baby anyway, but there we go. The council contacted my lettings agency on my behalf on Monday, explaining I have asked them for help, have a flat lined up and that I'm just waiting for it to be ready. Less stressed now. He had some milk and cried a bit because of wind but then we both fell asleep for a bit, him on my chest. He likes sleeping on me, but I always worry about falling asleep with him. He's waking up a bit now.

@MixedCouple2
Yup, he has been really good to me otherwise. Like I said, we hardly ever fight. What he told me is he didn't realize how serious I would take. I told him that it's his last chance and that if I ever catch him lying to me again, baby and i are out.
I told his mum the same thing and she agreed with me. We haven't told my mum anything just to avoid making it a bigger issue.

How far along are you now? Here's hoping things progress well for you. Is DC going to be an August baby after all? 😊

@missmoosh
I hope you feel better soon. No idea what it could be but have you tried a warm compress?

@Oatmilktea
Yes, very selfish indeed. I told him that I'm not willing to tend to him if he gets sick because of his habits. It's probably worsened his cholesterol and diabetes. He's only 31. We have booked a full body check up with chest xray and liver function test for him to see the damage.
Things are still raw but I'm trying to get past it and not pass on the negative energy to baby.

How are you doing?

@SapphireSeptember
It's hard to do it all by yourself, just remember that. You're doing absolutely everything you can. It's messy, I'm pretty sure I've had spit up, leaking boobs, pee and poop on me at once. But the baby will settle, they just need us more than anything.

@ceruleansky hopefully the health MOT gives him the kick up the bum he needs to ensure his child has a healthy dad. If not, as hard as it will be you’ll maybe just need to try and accept that there is no point in worrying about his health if he won’t. My DP has an absolutely awful diet and I’m sick to death of nagging at him. He’s got a bit of health anxiety so I’m surprised he doesn’t take better care of himself.

I’m good thanks. Baby has been very unsettled the past 24 hours. He’s been so fussy and seems like he is in a lot of pain, I’m assuming he’s got a sore tummy. He hasn’t wanted to nap much today which has made him overtired. I eventually put him in his love to dream swaddle which I’ve only been using for overnight sleep and he’s fast asleep now in his Moses basket bless him. Can I ask if others swaddle their baby/use their sleeping bag for daytime naps?

@wannabe123
This is what we need to be! Kind on ourselves.. you’re so right! X

@Oatmilktea I use the love to dream for all naps. It’s the only way my little one will settle otherwise he wants to be held the whole time!

@ceruleansky thats good to hear. I hope he follows through and is more present and less intoxicated. I agree to telling his Mum to hopd him accountable also.

@SapphireSeptember what has happened is totally normal. I had a friend who experinced the same. Thos early months are mental crying is intense. My DS had silent reflux. And the days where I meeded to hold him a lot while he cried I used wireless headphones and listened to meditations / podcast / anything.to to help distract me.

I am still pregnant. 1st Aug 😂 I have my reflexology apt today. Last 2 nights sleep has gone and I manage 2 hours only. I did the mile circuit / yoga / ball / flaxseeds / accupreaaure last night - nothing.

Midwives brew did nothing - no loose bowls no nausea nothing. sigh
Seeing my midwife this afternoon.

Going to try make a fire and smoke baby out. He is moving and seems happy in there lots of wriggles and wiggles.

@Oatmilktea never used seperate swaddles used the same one for all sleep. The days DS was having issuea napping we did contact naps and I read a book or watched something. He soon got the hang of things and contacts naps reduced. But I found nursing to sleep and holding for the nap the only way he would have naps for a while.

Hi everyone, thank you for the new thread! I’m a bit late to the party but our little boy, Edward arrived with us Monday morning at a weighty 9.5lbs! (I’m more than sure a conversation about induction gave me the push to start spontaneous labour 😂)

It started as the most beautiful homebirth, I was lucky enough to have our trust send midwives to my house to facilitate this with a birthing pool and a birthing comb with mindful breathing from my hypnobirthing courses but sadly despite being fully dilated Ed got his head stuck whilst turning and I ended up being blue-lighted to hospital as an emergency C-section - both happy & healthy though! He clearly was not ready for eviction 😂

Evening ladies. So things took a turn today.
My.blood results from Monday came back not good. Bile Acids 100> considered severe.
Midwife assumed I could stay local but I knew that would not be right..so she spoke to consultant at the main hospital and they want me in for Induction tomorrow 8am!

It isn't what I wanted but risks are high and my babies safety is more important. The itching has been insatiable and I have bruises from it. I knew it must be high just feom that. Crazy my levels went from 10 normal.and healthy to 105 in the matter of 9 days!

At least I know my cervix is ready and opening more past 3cm and so I hope I need minimal interventions. I have my birth plan stating i want wireless monitoring and to be able to move about and take walks etc. And eill decline anything I am not happy with.

I was in 2 minds and wantes to decline and wait until Monday BUT the level is over 100. If it was 60-90 o wouoe think over it.

I am futted as I have had bpoody show this morning and MP keep coming away and contractions are picking up. But no longer clinically safe to have a home birth or local birth.

Off to Wrexham I go!

@MixedCouple2 best of luck, hope everything goes smoothly.

@ceruleansky my only advice is don't make any longterm or permanent decisions while you're in the pressure cooker of the newborn stage. I don't want to dismiss your feelings, I just know what it's like when the toddler stage lands, the fog disappears, hormone levels return to usual cycle and suddenly with hindsight you see alternative approaches. Good luck

Hi everyone I had our little boy 30th July weighing 9lb for 11days late ❤️ looking at his little face makes the emergency c section worth it. Enjoy all your little bundles x

Currently wanting to tranquilize my little bundle of joy as he just won't fucking sleep. He's been fed, winded, nappy changed and cuddled to sleep and woke up after less than half an hour. It's over eight hours since I thought about going to sleep and it hasn't happened yet. I'm giving my mum live updates. 🤣 Keep telling him he won't have mummy to look after him if she ends up having a nervous breakdown, but he doesn't seem to be listening.

Congratulations @CMG92

@MixedCouple2 Good luck. 💐

Also thank you for the supportive comments. 💐 I wasn't expecting to do this on my own, but baby's dad has turned out to be a waste of space and hasn't supported me (although he turned up for the birth and finally told his adult daughter she was going to have a new baby brother the day he was born. 🤦🏻‍♀️) I have an utterly wonderful friend who lives in the town I'm moving to and who has looked after me and baby like her own. I have many wonderful friends and family, so I'm not alone. Just night time is hard when I'm tired, stressed and overwhelmed, and baby is screaming at me, scratching me and kicking my tummy which still feels a bit sore. 😭

@SapphireSeptember glad to hear you have support around you. I can’t imagine doing the nights alone so I really feel for you, some can be so tough! My SIL gave me a little mantra of saying to myself ‘It’s just a moment in time and this too shall pass’. When I’m really struggling overnight it helps to remind myself of this. Both in the sense of the sleepless nights will pass but also the fact they don’t stay little for long so make the most of all of the moments, even the ones that make you want to pull your hair out!

Afteenoon ladies. I am here! What an eventful few days!

Baby boy was born 3rd Jul @2:14pm. He is 8lbs 3oz and such an alert little bean. Great feeder. Had nothing to worry about. Colostrum was there as soon as.my placenta came out. And I could push and loads came out. Not effort to express.
I used the syringes anyway to clean his eyes and let DH feed.

Things started off great with labour but as soon as they broke my water i was on the clock and ended up needing syntocin. What horrid stuff. I thought it would be ok..but oh my without epidural I thought I was dying!
They gave me too much and I had back to back contractions for over and hour and loat control. So then they had to inject me to stop contractions. I refused to proceed until I got the epidural. Then after that it was smooth and fine..no complications. I had a light epidural so o was able to move about and even get off the bed. I was able to use the birthing ball and breath baby out 5cm - delivery in 6hours.
Worked out great in the end but the middle bit was hectic.
Despite that DS was fine not stressed at all. 🤔

The team were all lovely and had a greta experince overall. Next time if I need to be induced for medical reasons will go there and also got that epidural!

@SapphireSeptember awww bless you. It doea get better I promise. Hang in there Mama. I have this to look forward to.

We don't have a name for DS yet. I was hoping we would have decided by the birth but nope.

Congrats @CMG92 and @Cattattack - what an eventful turn of events. Hope the experince was overall positive.

Thanks Mamas for the well wishes. I am very aore and the after pains are not pleasant. I was warned with subsequent babies it gets worse!

Guys the ICP is worse post partum. It feels like millions of fire ants all over me.
The Dr said ot can take 6 weeks to recover. They gave me certizine but that did jack all.
I will loose my mind if this goes on for another 6 weeks!!!!!!!!!

Hi guys, was away for a few days so just catching up. Congrats on the new babies, well done!!

Still dealing with breastfeeding pain so off to my 4th appointment about this on Tuesday. Baby feeding well and gaining weight though. Waking every 1-3 hours at night, with last night being an every hour situation, so pretty wrecked! Currently breastfeeding on wake nr 2 of the night. Pray baby goes back to sleep instead of wanting to chill and play for an hour!!

Really resonate with you @ceruleansky. I don't have anything useful to say that hasn't been said already, but I've begged our therapist for an appointment next week. DH has been utterly useless and I'm starting to get depressed about it again. Today I cooked dinner whilst minding the baby AND toddler... While DH watched sports for 2 hours?! And when he does do something 'useful' it's never for me. He spent most of last week trimming hedges?! I'm super triggered by people whose partners actually look after them and do nice things for them 😭 When I try to talk to him about it he also doesn't try to understand or apologise, he just gets defensive, which is so unhelpful.

@AnonymousXXIX so sorry to read that your DH has been useless. You deserve a partner who will pull their weight. I hope you’re able to get a therapy session asap.

My DS is also a wake every 1-3 hours kinda baby (more like 2.5 hours max!!!). He went through a phase for a few days of waking 45 mins after being put down to sleep. Tonight has been better and I have had two 2 hour stretches so far. You’re not alone!! Hopefully our babies sleep for a little longer soon. You’ll especially need the sleep seeing as you’re having to also do the things DH should be doing!

So figured out why he won't settle, he wants to go to sleep on me! As soon as I put him down he gets upset. Unless it's morning, then he's fine. Methinks it's the witching hour. Trying to wake him up because he's due his next feed. (Midwife says I need to feed him every three hours because he's not up to his birth weight yet.) Meanwhile I'm exhausted and struggling, keep falling asleep holding him, can barely find the time to eat myself, and cry every single day.

Thank you @MixedCouple2 Looking forward to Thursday when I have the dentist and my friend is looking after him for a bit.

Added to my stress is the communal washing machine is broken. I used it on Friday, and when I went to get my stuff out I opened the door and smoke poured out. But I sent off the form for my maternity grant yesterday.

@missmoosh Thank you! I didn't get as stressed last night, and I got a bit of sleep. (Enough to dream about The Handmaid's Tale, really brain? All the nice things I could dream about and you choose that!) Still knackered though.

@SapphireSeptember that period has started has it. It is tough when they just want to sleep on your and your scared to sleep due to SIDS it is 😱 so stressful but hopefully it is not a long set back.
Thats what happens after babies - a trip to the GP alone or dentist ie like a holiday 😂😭
I remember some days only managing to get downstairs for breakfast at 3pm! Sometimes only having 1 meal a day. Not brushing my teeth twice a day!

I know you might not feel confident yet but have you thought about "baby wearing" using a carrier / woven / stitched etc. It means you have your hands free. Can get ready foe the day - brush teeth and wash face and got food done and some small tasks.
This time I got a woven wrap and a bouncer. But I will probably use the wrap so much more.

Oh that sucks about the washing machine. Hopefully they get it fixed soon.

I’m too tired to name individuals so will say I’m Thinking of you all, particularly those who are struggling with sleep deprivation, health and relationships. It’s tough, but you are all amazing and we’ve got this!!

congratulations to the mums and recent newborns.

my little one was born on Friday 2nd August at 13:20, weighing 3.91kg. Super stressful birth. Most of my birth plan went out the window but was able to have a vaginal delivery at least. We’re doing well now. Other than the exhaustion!!

Congratulations @HereAtlonglast 🎉 I hope your recovery goes well!

Baby is also doing the classic 3-week growth spurt only wants to sleep on me over here. Midwife noted my blood pressure is low and I should try to rest more ahaha...