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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Babyshowers! Has anyone had one, how, where, what and any other info please!

30 replies

ellideb · 13/04/2008 15:48

I'm preggers with my 1st baby and would love to hear from anyone who may have had or is thinking of having an all american style babyshower!

What did you do?, who did you invite? and any tips please!

I'm thinking about it myself so would really appreciate your words of wisdom MNers!

OP posts:

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FrannyandZooey · 13/04/2008 15:50

I am assuming you want all opinions so am going to be honest
I think they are a bit grabby and basically about getting gifts for you and the baby

staranise · 13/04/2008 15:53

I think the main point is that your friends organise it for you and it's normally a surprise.
It's a bit like a hen - silly quizzes, champagne etc but in someone's house and everybody gets you baby-related presents, particularly of the practical nappycake, baby bath variety. My (South African) neighbour had one and there was a gift list, like you'd get for a wedding!

Have never actually been to one though (couldn't make my neighbour's), though can't see the harm in it if it takes your fancy!

finallypregnant · 13/04/2008 15:54

I agree with the above post. Sorry if it is not what you want to hear.

finallypregnant · 13/04/2008 15:54

oops, that should be agreeing with FrannyandZooey.

finallypregnant · 13/04/2008 15:56

Yikes, a gift list at a baby shower. In my opinion very rude.

littlelapin · 13/04/2008 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTittleMouse · 13/04/2008 15:57

I'm another person who doesn't like them. I'd do a "last fling" type party, where you get to hang out with your friends before you become very busy, instead (i.e. no gifts).
Staranise is right - you can't hold one yourself, it has to be held for you by your friends - otherwise you're basically telling everyone that they have to buy you lots of stuff, which is a bit grabby. People will buy you lots of lovely stuff after your baby is born anyway.

staranise · 13/04/2008 15:57

should add, when I was living abroad and pg with DD1, my friends offered to do one for me, but I vetoed it as was knackered with the pg and frankly am phobic about having a fuss made about me (we only had two other people at our wedding). I was also, in that English manner, embarrassed about having a party where people would all have to buy me something (see wedding again).
But like I said, can't really see the harm in it and people will buy you stuff once the baby is born anyway, no harm in getting it while you're pg.

alittlebitshy · 13/04/2008 15:57

I don't thik I'd ever do one for myself.

When dd was born 2 friends did one for me. I was quite down so it really was nice to SEE people and not have to arrange it myself, and it meant that people got to meet dd without it being a constant drip of people.

The friends arranged it all so I'm not sure what happend (blur) - but it was just some nibbles and drinks, and the guets were all v v kind and brought dd presents (v kind people).

Traditioanlly it happens pre birth though doesn't it??

ShellyS · 13/04/2008 16:03

My DH is Australian and he says its done out there and we have had a few aussie friends (that live here) that have had them but I'm not comfortable with it.........like everyone above, I think it's just like asking for pressies!

DH still wants one though but I'm going to try and convienently forget about it! He won't organise it anyway so hopefully I'll get away with it

Original poster

ellideb · 13/04/2008 16:16

Great to hear your opinions everyone, I agree it does sound a bit grabby, especially if you organised one for yourself hee hee! (Just wanted prezzies )

Great for a chance to meet up with all the women folk in your life before LO comes along but you can do that anytime really, just have people over for drinks and cake , lots of cake and make an aftrenoon out of it!

Thanks for all your posts everyone!

OP posts:

Mum2b2BabyRoo · 13/04/2008 16:17

Friends of mine organied a surprise one for me a few weekends ago. It was really lovely as so many of my friends were there - some that I hadn't seen in ages! It was great to see everyone and really touched me that they had taken the time to organise this for me and come out to see me. The fact that I (well Baby) got gifts was an added plus, but for me it was seeing my friends that made it so special. As far as I am aware there was no gift list - well if there was they didn't get it from me!

I think if you want to have one, have one but make it about seeing your friends before the big life changing event and not about the gifts! You will probably find you will get baby gifts anyway!

Izzywhizzy · 13/04/2008 16:22

My sister's tried to persuade me to have one, but I hated the idea. It was like saying: 'Come to my party, but make sure you bring me stuff'. I just didn't feel comfortable about it at all.

staranise · 13/04/2008 16:43

Maybe you could do one but specify 'no presents'? We did this for DD1's 3rd birthday party (we had nearly 40 children coming, have a small house and she gets plenty of stuff from close friends and family anyway), though must admit, a lot of the mothers thought we were being really mean to DD .

I think it's a bit weird to buy people baby presents before the baby is born anyway, especially if you don't know what the sex is.

lou222 · 13/04/2008 17:06

my friend is desperate to organise one for me and begged me to agree.

i said yes aslong as you specify no presents and don't call it a baby shower.
It really is a lovely idea for your friends to get together and wish you well before the baby and whilst your still not too sleep deprived to enjoy it.
I don't understand why people are so snobbish about it. I've been to one and it was lovely, and everyone i've spoken to who has had one said it was a lovely experience. Don't knock it till you've tried it i say!
I am sure they are becoming more the norm.

Sallyre · 13/04/2008 17:12

I had a really amazing one in America - My sister lives there- lots of silly games for example....

taste and identify baby food (stickers cover the jars)

Melt various chocolate bars in disposable nappies - snickers, kitkat etc...and your guests have to sniff or taste and guess - makes for very funny photos

Babyshower bingo - you can download cards and stuff if you google baby shower games or buy stuff from sites like
this

I threw two for friends and we all had fun - nice to celebrate!

elportodelgato · 13/04/2008 17:54

My friend is throwing one for me (having 1st LO in May) but I have specified NO GIFTS - agree with previous posters that this is a bit grabby. Instead we are going for afternoon tea at a fancy hotel in London so really just a chance for a girlie afternoon and a glass of fizz. I can't wait!

Original poster

ellideb · 13/04/2008 22:20

its interesting to hear your positive experiences too, great link Sallyre i shall be visiting the sight to check it out in more detail again!

OP posts:

Goldiewithabump · 14/04/2008 09:24

Went to an american one and was really lovely. Everyone that went was close enough to the mum to have bought presents anyway. Got to see the mum opening the presents all together when she had the time to appreciate and chat about all things baby.

Think if you have close friends round, with no rules either way about pressies, it's a great way to catch up before your new addition.

jackamolsmum · 14/04/2008 11:03

my sister and mum threw me one in lieu of a hen night (I had a shotgun wedding lol). It was a lovely day- had it in my mums garden on a lovely sunny day. They ordered some fabulous posh cakes and we had bucks fizz and sarnies in the garden...mmm (wistfully thinks back!)

My sister made up birth prediction cards where each guest put down their own advice and predictions about the baby's weight/looks/future career etc! All of this went into an album with the pics from the day - it was such a lovely chilled out day. People bought presents at their own discretion- i'd be mortified at the idea of a gift list.

Have fun!

NikNakF · 14/04/2008 13:06

My sister is organising one for me, I'll be 30/40 and I can't wait. We're calling it a pre-baby party, and 25-30 of closest friends are coming to hang out and play silly games. We haven't asked for gifts, but my sister has already been asked what to bring. We've kept it open. We've also doing silly favour bags for the guests - I can't wait!!

crumpet · 14/04/2008 13:17

A friend offered to organise one for my second, but I declined. I have to say that it felt a bit like counting chickens before they hatched - in fact other than some essentials I did no shopping/preparation for either of my children (still remember dh bringing in colour charts to the hospital to paint dds room).

Also at the time it did seem a bit "americany" and somehow contrived to do in the UK, although I'm aware that it seems to be an increasing practice.

RubyRioja · 14/04/2008 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

C2ndbaby · 14/04/2008 13:46

Hi, I am a South African mom and as someone said earlier it is I almost want to say norm in South Africa. I had my DD here in the uk and had no baby shower before hand but was VERY shocked when a friend of mine organised one after my dd was born when my mom came to visit. It is suppose to be a surprise and you are not suppose to organize it.

We just had drinks, snacks and what is also traditional in South Africa is that you get a potty and put a chocolate something like kitkat in the potty as well as juice for instance apple juice. I'm quite sure that everyone can guess what that looks like, in any way, the mom to be/new mom then gets to sit in a chair with all the presents stacked at her feet, you can have her dress up as a big baby using a towel as a nappy and one of the baby bibs and maybe a pacifier. The mom then has to guess every present who it is from if she is wrong she has to take a swig/eat out of the potty.

Will try to upload some of my pics to my profile, give me a while if you don't mind.

It was quite a lot of fun and no you are not being grabby, everyone likes buying gifts for a new baby and it will help you.

Hope this helps.

bogie · 14/04/2008 13:53

I don't like them just because when dp started his new job we were invited to his colleuges baby shower, he got a txt on the day saying the only thing on the list that no one else is getting is a steam sterailizer so you can get that for us.
Wtf dp still went and borght it because he didn't want to look bad at his new job.
I think if people want to get you somthing they will you shouldn't have to arrange a party to get things.

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