Things you didn't realise about giving birth until after the fact?

[LizzeyBenett]

Have to say some of it was a surprise for me some things I didn't know about but sure did find out :

• haemorrhoids - not one person warned me about this makes total sense but ouch

•the stretch marks (down below) that one shocked me but I suppose what do I expect after pushing a baby out.

•the hot flushes for weeks after giving birth

How much damage it can actually do and how common that is.

I tore in 2 places, up and down and had an episiotomy which was jagged and horrible looking off to the side that tore further, it’s a shit show down there, sex still hurts 3 years later and there is apparently nothing that can be done.

oh and the phantom kicks are weird 😅

How wobbly and alien your belly feels after birth i remember with my first dc it felt like i was touching someone elses body- and I agree with the poster above I had blues (maybe day 3 hormone crash?) About no longer having my "bump" and coming to terms with a new normal. Really missed feeling my baby wiggle inside me.

The shakes post birth noone told me about the shakes- every birth I had ended with terrible shaking.

How bizarre it feels, the first few hours (days?) After birth I felt very odd, dreamlike, raw, high and low, just everything hit me at once...as if I had stepped into someone else's life. It was terrifying and worrisome at times not as wholesome enamoured with love type of feeling I was expecting.

Oh and how hard it is to sleep in the last few weeks of pregnancy.

The afterpains and a womb infection after dc3. I had no pain relief in labour but ended up being admitted with the infection on a high dose course of painrelief never felt anything like it - I was delirious with pain.

How you wish you could bottle up meeting them for the first time again. I've never experienced anything quite like it - despite my long term after effects of pregnancy and labour I'm glad I have experienced it.

After a c section, the absolute agony of trapped wind or a full bladder 😅

I was bemused by the fact that they tell you to push even if you have no feeling down below (eg spinal block) and you have no idea whether you are.... (forceps baby)

Gas and air is useless for some, but amazing for others (I was super high on it, and got to 9cm where baby got stuck, hence forceps).

You may leave hospital and have to administer a million different medications (pretty sure I was on c40 pills a day plus 3 injections a day for the first 2 weeks).

Nothing will ever taste better than the toast and butter (plus tea) they bring you once you have given birth.

I don't think I really had that.

Think I was too consumed with worry, constantly.

When I hear things like this I wish I could go back and do it again.

There was I book I read in the 80s called from here to maternity which was basically comments from mum's of newborns just like this . I read it when I'd just had mine and I found a real comfort . Someone should make a modern version.

That I'd have a catheter after my spinal and forceps delivery. I kept being told to get back in bed by the nurse to get my baby and had no clue why on earth I'd have a tube coming out of me. I had to argue to get it removed.

Also how long it would take to get the feeling in my legs back and how far up me the numbness went. I couldn't hold my baby for quite a while as my arms didn't work.

That I wasn't allowed to carry my baby with me to get my breakfast from the breakfast trolley outside the ward or to go to the toilet. I couldn't believe that I was meant to leave her unattended. Not sure what I expected could happen but she never left my sight.

The night sweat was a surprise. Dreading menopause if that's what it's going to be like.

The piles were just so bad. I pushed for so long. The midwife was horrified when she saw them, sent me to the male GP who prescribed... anusol. For fucks sake.

That I'd love the morphine so much and the dismay that I wasn't allowed to take it home with me. Looking back now I understand 😂

I didn't realise how amazing I'd feel once she was born despite the stitches and piles. I hated pregnancy and had awful pelvic pain and round ligament pain from pretty early on (which I still actually get 6 years on). The moment I got home had a glass of wine then slept on my stomach. It was bliss.

How massive DH's face would look in comparison to DC's! Honestly, I would get such a fright after gazing at DC whilst feeding, then DH's massive face would loom into view like an Easter Island statue! Terrifying.

Sore boobs/nipples. They were so tender. I would lie on my side in the bath and try to let the water relieve the pain.

The agony of stitches and urine. Oooooouuuccch!

Thankfully my partner has been amazing but he doesn’t wake up when she cries so it’s me awake all night watching her. I’m so paranoid

My first thought seeing my baby was 'oh. She is wonky'. You won't necessarily feel a huge rush of love (even if I adore her now at 4).

Always remember that you can make choices. My husband reminded me that yhe midwife had to stifle giggles when I told the Dr that she could come back in half an hour after trying to push me into a course of action I wanted to think about (I had asked her what would happen if I didn't do what she wanted for an hour, and she said 'nothing').

Some people are baby people, some people are toddler people and some people are better with older kids. That's OK. I wasn't a fan of the potato stage, but love it when they can talk and interact.

Quite how much easier a second birth can be. Planned home birth for second baby and it was an easy birth. How you can be up and about and feeling great the next day if birth has been straightforward. Very different from hospital birth with DD1 which was hideous.

Also if you already have a toddler, they all of a sudden look GIANT in comparison to the new tiny baby. It sort of upset me a bit for some reason!

The ward 😩😩 You’re so focused on the baby bit of the whole thing that you forget about actually having to be in there. I didn’t sleep a wink either time. I was too scared in case I fell asleep for 8 hours, my baby didn’t wake up or they did and I didn’t hear them and they were starving by the morning 🙈 I wanted to set alarms to wake me but was too worried I’d wake other people so just resorted to sitting staring at the wall all night both times 😂 brutal

I didn’t expect to throw up as much as I did during labour.

I also didn’t expect to feel straight back to normal after a shower and sleep. Although I think I’m in the minority with this as everyone else said they were knackered, whereas I got told off for reaching out of bed to grab things out of my bag 🤣

Forgot to mention the smell, I had really bad BO for months after giving birth, it was so gross!! Hormones are wild.

The first bowel movement after giving birth. Well actually it was the first 3 for me 😩😩

I also expected to tear but I didn’t realise you could tear your labia. I did it both labours, didn’t expect it either time for some reason.

That your first wee after delivery is like being cut with knives..

And that at a certain point if some random bloke you've never met puts his fingers in your vigina you dont really give a shit

Absolutely...the after pains. Never had any with my first but second I was screaming on the ward

None of these happened to me (3 births)

However, double episiotomy stitched incorrectly lead to corrective surgery and cosmetic surgery. Who knew this was a possibility? I certainly didn't until it happened.

Omg just googled it, this may save me! Honestly I go to sleep after her 6am feed with her on me and sleep for 1-2 hours and same with a late morning feed. I’m living off 2-3 hours max a day

What? I was definitely stitched on the outside - I saw my stitches post birth before they dissolved. I had a line stitched across the outside

After pains for me too. Me and another lady had our second babies and we were both suffering and asked each other WTH was going on. Lovely lovely dihydrocodeine (spelling ?) was so good I cried in relief.
I pooped with second too. It smaller awful and I was so ashamed. Went from 4cm to delivered in 40 mins after telling the midwife I was contracting and she gave me another pessary (induction) "just in case "

Oh my goodness, the first pee!

I'd forgotten all about that!

I think the midwife warned me just as I went to the toilet. What's the deal with it again? It just slowly kind of trickles out and takes forever?

It does get better, it’s so hard at first. Lack of sleep makes anxiety worse so it’s a vicious cycle. I hope you start to feel better soon ❤️