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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I’m 30 weeks pregnant and trying to figure who the father is

105 replies

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 08:32

so im 30 weeks pregnant my last period was the 26th of October 2023 my period is regular lasts 5 days at the end of every month how ever I never really kept track of when I ovulate. I had sex on the 31st of October n 2nd of November with well call him (Joe) and he pulled out.. the second guy well call him ( John ) we had unprotected sex from the 5th of November I stayed at his house from the 5th of November until the 10th of November we had sex a few times throughout them days and he wasn’t pulling out he was ejaculating inside of me . my first ultrasound sound was January the 5th 2024 said I was 10 weeks exactly

OP posts:

New2024newname · 30/05/2024 08:36

Timing of your last period and the dating scan suggest you ovulated around 10 November. So in all likelihood the second guy- you were having sex with him exactly in your fertile window.

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 08:42

New2024newname · 30/05/2024 08:36

Timing of your last period and the dating scan suggest you ovulated around 10 November. So in all likelihood the second guy- you were having sex with him exactly in your fertile window.

Ok and we were having sex nearly every day I was with him from memory @New2024newname i also look at the recent scans of the baby and his nose is very large like the second I sleept with

OP posts:

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 08:44

@New2024newname I kind of had always had a feeling it was the second guy the fact he wasn’t pulling out . But knowing that sperm can potentially survive for up to 5 days I just couldn't really know

OP posts:

IncognitoUsername · 30/05/2024 08:45

Do both of these men know about the pregnancy/each other? Although it seems likely to be man2 I would still be looking to have a paternity test once the baby is born, just for the avoidance of doubt.

Fontainebleau007 · 30/05/2024 08:46

Although it seems more likely to be the second man, I would definitely get a paternity test when baby is born. At least you will know for sure.

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 08:51

IncognitoUsername · 30/05/2024 08:45

Do both of these men know about the pregnancy/each other? Although it seems likely to be man2 I would still be looking to have a paternity test once the baby is born, just for the avoidance of doubt.

@IncognitoUsername yes there are both aware the first guy claims it’s not his and for the second well we both know he could be the father because he was the one that wasn’t pulling out . I thought I’d share my story because iv been literally sleepless about it with no one to talk to

OP posts:

SnoodieLife · 30/05/2024 08:59

The only way to know is to do a paternity test when the baby is born, and maybe use this as a lesson to not have unprotected sex with multiple people around the same time? 🙄

Catsinaflat · 30/05/2024 09:03

I think 2nd guy.

fairymary87 · 30/05/2024 09:09

Crikey I'm not one to shame or be like negative towards a situation like this. But it feels like you need to look at safe sex, it's not all on them to be pulling out etc. it takes two. You and them! Cleary there's a chance you'll get pregnant. Most likely the 2nd guy too...

nupnup · 30/05/2024 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IAlwaysTellTheTruthEvenWhenILie · 30/05/2024 09:14

How long are your cycles?

Though I'll edit to add, unless you have very short cycles, it's likely to be guy2.

Have you had sti checks? Not judging. But it's important, especially when pregnant.

WonderingWanda · 30/05/2024 09:34

We're you actively trying to get pregnant? It seems bonkers to be having so much unprotected sex. The reality is you won't know who the father is until you do a paternity test. Wishful thinking from the guy who says it isn't his....it clearly could be.

TwoTeeFruity · 30/05/2024 09:36

I really hope you won't be relying on the views of this thread to determine paternity based on a likelihood of which guy it is. You do need to be looking at a DNA test. Pulling out is not an effective method of contraception and I'd personally say your being abit naive in your thinking about that.

I'm not criticising or judging because I was in a similar situation years ago. I was almost certain it wasn't the 1st guy because I was almost sure he hadnt fully ejaculated or at all, plus I bled like a normal period after that last encounter. The second guy was a brief one night stand that spanned over a weekend.

I tried to match all my dates of every scan, added with the fact I had what I assumed was a period after 1st guy, and opinions from others and came to the conclusion throughout my pregnancy that it was much more likely to be the 2nd guy.

Unfortunately as luck or karma would have it, DNA testing found the 1st guy (abusive ex, who i prayed and had calculated numerous times wasnt) was infact the dad. It ruined my life for a long time.

I'm not saying your situation will turn out like mine and guessing may actually lead to the right man but my advice to you would be, if there is doubt, unless its in concrete black and white, you will never truly know for sure who is your baby's dad is based on likelihoods and possibilities. For your own sake, Take the test and in future find a better method of contraception.

Fraaahnces · 30/05/2024 09:39

Honestly, only a paternity test will give you the truth

SpringShower · 30/05/2024 09:39

It’s more likely to be the second guy based on dates. But you definitely need a paternity test. I conceived my first child with my DH on day 7 of my cycle (only day we had sex that month as he was travelling for work). So for you, that would’ve been Nov 2nd.

RedHelenB · 30/05/2024 09:41

IncognitoUsername · 30/05/2024 08:45

Do both of these men know about the pregnancy/each other? Although it seems likely to be man2 I would still be looking to have a paternity test once the baby is born, just for the avoidance of doubt.

This. A child deserves to kniw who their parents are.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/05/2024 09:43

There are only 3 days between having unprotected sex with Man1 and Man2, it really could be ether of them who is the father. It may be slightly more likely to be Man2 based on the dates, but likelihood isn’t the same as certainty. You need to do a DNA test when the baby is born, it’s the only way to know for sure.

GreenAnderson · 30/05/2024 09:44

Agree that you really need a paternity test - there is always going to be doubt otherwise.

You can get one right now, while you're pregnant - but it's expensive (about £800 I think, from a quick google, but I could be wrong). If you wait till the baby's born then it's much cheaper.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 30/05/2024 10:06

It could be either of them. Dating scans aren't fully accurate either unfortunately. My dating scan put me a few days ahead, yet I knew exactly when I ovulated so it wasn't possible to be a few days ahead. And with there being such a small gap between both men it could be either.

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 10:51

@IAlwaysTellTheTruthEvenWhenILie my cycles is 28 days and yes I have had a sti check everything’s all good . My period lasts 5 days

OP posts:

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 10:54

@MolkosTeenageAngst well I had sex so much times with guy 2 from the 5th of November to the 10th of November and only twice with guy 1 .. with guy 1 on the 2nd of November I know he didn’t put anything inside of me for a fact.. we’re as with guy 2 he was every single time

OP posts:

IncognitoUsername · 30/05/2024 10:56

How do you know ‘for a fact’ that guy 1 didn’t put anything inside you?!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/05/2024 10:56

Please tell us more!!
Is guy 2 your husband you're trying for a baby with and guy 1 is someone you have on the side?
Who do you want it to be? Do they know about each other?
You can do a dna test now if you can afford it but it's just a few weeks till baby is here. So you could do then.

Could you have a movie night with them watching Bridget jones baby? Xx

Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 10:59

@WonderingWanda yes I was trying to get pregnant with guy 2 guy 1 was like a one night stand and I know he didn’t finish inside of me but I thought I’d mentioned it because I did have unprotected sex with him

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Original poster

ThatTidyPombear · 30/05/2024 11:01

@Unexpectedlysinglemum yes guy 2 was my partner but we had split up in the time all this was happening so I did have sex with another guy unprotected on the 2nd of November and he did pull out and I know nothing went inside of me but I thought I would mention it because it was unprotected sex … yes with guy 2 we were trying for a baby and now I’m pregnant

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