Gender disappointment

[isabela0]

Anyone else dealing with this? I just found out my second baby is a boy. I have a 21 month old daughter that's my mini me and best friend I'm a girly girl and my daughter is too. I love it. I always saw myself as a girl mom and my husband as a girl dad.
Now I'm dealing with so much worry. I don't know how I'll develop a bond with a boy. I have no experience with boys. It's so foreign.
Can someone reassure me?

You don’t love your daughter just because she’s a girl do you? It will be the same with your son.

i too always thought I would be a girl mum, only had a sister, other than my dad no male role models growing up, all my friends were girls with only sisters. But guess what I have only boys now and perfectly happy.

I'd also say that you shouldn't assume that two girls would be more similar to each other than a boy and a girl. Every child is an individual. I have two boys, they have some shared interests but are also very different to each other in many ways. One of them likes the theatre and likes football too (shock). I am a 'girl' who likes football. I also like cooking and nice clothes. You are making a lot of assumptions and using a lot of stereotypes.

BOYS ARE WONDERFUL. At 15 and off to scout camp, my son still gave me a kiss and a hug. He is a father but still rings me for career advice and to talk things over. I brought him up to be a sensitive, caring man. A wonderful husband and father. He has an older sister and they couldn’t be closer, always were.

I have two girls, I would have loved a boy but I wasn't disappointed when second girl arrived (didn't find out the sex before she was born), my girls are very different and have different interests so I find gender disappointment a bit weird tbh.
Also there's no guarantee that any child will conform to gender stereotypes, my friend's 3yo DS loves wearing pink dresses for example

One of each - be bloody grateful! The perfect balance.

Well op im laid here cuddling my lovely boy after 2 girls and i couldn't be happier.

Im sure you will fall in love him.

I truly think it's completely normal to feel this way and you should in NO way be ashamed. I promise you, once you meet that little baby it won't matter at all anymore. I had a similar thing with my first pregnancy, I think we were both secretly hoping for a girl and when the sonographer told us he was a boy we were a little bit speechless and I think we were a bit disappointed when we left.

He will be 4 next week and let me tell you, he is my absolute best friend in the whole entire world. It's about so much more than whats between their legs and the clothes they wear. I thank my lucky stars every single day for being given a son. He is sweet, nurturing, gentle, loving and so much more.

I went on to have another and had a girl so one of each and I'm honestly so pleased to experience both but let me tell you, I reckon if we went for a 3rd I'd hand on heart hope for another boy 😅

Please let yourself feel these feelings and just know that they're temporary and it will all be okay 🫶🏼

If you only saw yourself as a girl mum who couldn’t possibly bear the thought of being a boy mum, why did you choose to get pregnant knowing there was a 50/50 chance of having a boy each time?

im bored of all these stereotypes on here when it comes to gender disappointment. Why do you want your daughter to be a mini you? Why can’t she be her own person?!

Your daughter isn’t a girly girl on her own accord, she is way too young. It’s something you have enforced with clothes, toys, attitude etc. if this is a concern for you, then just do the same with your boy. Just buy him pink dresses and pink toys and paint his nails.

Children are individuals, they are impressionable and it’s your job to bring them up. If it’s the material things you think you can’t do with a boy in order to bond with him, then just repeat what you have done with your girl.

Be prepared that when your daughter grows up she may come to hate the ‘girly girl’ stuff. Would be a shame if you stopped loving her for it.

I always think this with these threads. OP should head over to the infertility board and learn about real disappointment.

Oh I know. Sigh. Just bring them both up to be feminists and ditch all the shite girly pink shit and boy football blue shit.
God help me.

How can your 21 month old daughter be your 'best friend'. This is such an unhealthy way to view a parent-child relationship.

I suppose your baby has a father, who, once upon a time, was a boy? Foreign my arse. Fgs that poor kid.

People are idiots.

Are you serious?

He could end up the most flamboyantly feminine man in the history of your family so don't give up hope of another mini you.

And kind of pathetic that anyone needs to birth their own best friend.

You describing your DD as your best friend is a massive red flag. It’s not her responsibility to be that to you. YOUR job is to parent the children you have, regardless of their sex or whether they are meeting your own psychological needs. Their job is to be kids and develop their OWN personalities.

After miscarriages and a TMFR (the worst thing I’ve ever thrown at me) I wish this was me, I wish this was my biggest worry in life right now.

I do however get OP, she hasn’t got gender disappointment she’s just panicking about having another child and how this might change the family. Focusing on the gender is maybe what’s coming out but I don’t think it’s the crux here (or I could be wrong)

Jesus Christ, what a ‘worry’. You’re having a healthy baby be grateful and stop being so silly. So many of us reading this going through loss and TTC, this is honestly ridiculous.

That's the cutest thing ever

But OP your post has made me feel quite sad. You are so lucky to be having a second child.

You will look back on this and feel ashamed of yourself. Boys are magical, as are girls

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Ahhh in fairness I've taken this a bit less literally. I was primary carer for DD when she was little and as a result of us pretty much living in each others pockets you do kind of become besties for a while. You are their world, their hero. It's very short lived but a lovely time. Mine is a grumpy 15 year old and I miss those days now

Why on these threads is it always disappointment with a boy? I rarely (if ever) see one about girls.

Do people as a whole prefer girls? There are so many of these threads where the disappointment is there because they're having a boy.