IVF/FET Pregnancies due Oct 2024

[2mumlife]

Hi, thought I'd start of thread for those of us who have been through fertility treatment and are due in October 2024 :-)

I'm 6 weeks today after FET. This was our first try for a sibling (also a FET pregnancy).

Nausea is kicking my butt this time around. How is everyone else feeling?

How is everyone feeling about their early pregnancy scans?

@Custard7891 @Sammyma I was the same date based on my LMP but I didn't realise until a few weeks ago that my IVF date was different as I ovulated early. So I'm now down as 13th October so not too far off!

@Sammyma @Custard7891 Whether you are consultant led because of ivf seems to vary between health boards. You might find you are offered extra growth scans towards the end of pregnancy for being IVF. It’s like anything NHS though there is massive inconsistency!

Had my 12 week scan today, what a relief to see a healthy wriggly baby! I think now for the first time I actually believe I’m pregnant 🤗

@confuzzzzzled Congratulation!!! 😍

@confuzzzzzled great news, congrats!

Congratulations @confuzzzzzledthat's great 😊

I went for second lot of bloods today as they lost one of the first batch. I'm back again at the same place on Wednesday for my scan and another blood test for nuchal. I asked if they could just do them both of the same day and they said no. It's so tricky in this limbo situation with work not knowing yet!

@Custard7891 That's frustrating they couldn't just take the bloods they lost on Wednesday. Not long until you can pop the news 😁

@2mumlife I know, and it was the scans department I had to go to, so exactly the same place. At least I got a heads up on the scan photo prices 😂It's £4.50 each or 3 for £10. I've heard it varies everywhere.

Congratulations! I’m so inpatient I’m seriously considering a private 16 week scan so I can have another peep! Please can I ask is anyone considering attending antenatal classes like NCT?

@Custard7891 They take so much blood at once surely they could have used it for your combined test blood work as well.

@TheYorkshirePudding I don't blame you. I laugh when I think back to the 2WW and thinking it was the longest wait ever. Then there's the 5 / 6 weeks after the viability scan and another 8 weeks between the 12 and 20 week scans!

I'll be booking a class. I had a look at the weekend and some of the popular ones in London are sold out until August! Best to get booking soon.

@TheYorkshirePudding yeah we will be booking one. My partner is keen as it's a potential future support network, and it would be good just to learn stuff really, presumably they teach stuff like baby first aid which I have no clue about.

@LuxeBiscuit I know, it was frustrating! Done now though, and my scan on Wednesday is luckily quite early rather than at a random time during the working day.

@LuxeBiscuit so far I’ve had scans at 6+1 6+3 8+3 9+3 and 12+3… I’ve had so many I think I’m just entitled to one every couple of weeks 😂 Okay I’ll book tonight if they get booked up. @Custard7891 we also thought of the networking side and the fact that neither of us have ever changed a nappy or babysat 🫣

@TheYorkshirePudding you're not alone there as I've never changed a nappy either 😂

Congratulations @confuzzzzzled 💕

Congratulations @confuzzzzzled 🥰🥰

@Custard7891 Are they making you pay for your scan photo!? We get 1 for free and if they want more you pay (don't know how much as our scan photo has always been rubbish so never bothered getting more than 1!)

@TheYorkshirePudding We didn't do any antenatal classes last time other than 1 online class the NHS ran in our area, that was pretty rubbish to be honest, and only 2 classes I think. No NCT classes that much in our area, they are all a bit outwith so seemed pointless, but I know some people find them useful for the friendship aspect (though from what I understand its very much an upper-class vibe, and I know of women who have felt quite ostracised, so I think they can be a bit of drama) . The only thing I went to that was useful last time was a session run by my local breastfeeding network about getting off to the best start with breastfeeding. I'd probably do the breastfeeding 1 again as a refresher on getting baby started with a good latch as my DDs latch is rubbish now, but wont bother with anything else. We cloth nappied up until my daughter went to nursery (its not really worked out well with the nursery so we're now in disposables which I feel awful about) but just practised using muslin folds which is what we started with on a teddy. Modern disposable nappies are really straight forward and midwife will help you with your first nappy if you're unsure.

@Custard7891 There are separate specific baby first aid courses :)

Yeah @2mumlife I think having to pay for the photo is quite standard in England, from what I've read. Not complaining though as qualified for 2 rounds of IVF for free on the NHS.

Needing help with breastfeeding seems to be a common theme amongst mums I've spoken to. Thanks for the heads up about there being separate first aid courses.

@Custard7891 Seems a shame they don't even give 1 photo for free. But yes, if you've been lucky enough to get fertility treatment on NHS it puts things in perspective (we've spent a hideous amount on fertility treatment).

Highly recommend finding out what your local breastfeeding network offer in terms of support if you are intending to breastfeed, as its good to have support in the early days https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drop-in-centres-map/

I found the first few weeks really challenging, but I was expecting it to be a bit complicated as I have semi-inverted nipples. So we ended up topping-up with formula for awhile (which to be honest I wish I didn't do but at the time it was really stressful being told DD wasn't regaining her birth weight). By the time DD was 4/5 months I was back to breastfeeding only, using 1 breast only, as she had more difficulty to the other breast. I'd glad I persevered as still breastfeeding now at 19 months. Its easy and convenient (really hated bottles) and it really is about a lot more than feeding, as my daughter breastfeeding to help with sleep, teething pain, emotional regulation and quiet close time (she asks for boob as soon as she gets home from nursery and its our way of reconnecting after being apart during the day).

@2mumlife Ohhh there’s none close by me… 40 mins is the nearest ☹️ I’d like some help with breastfeeding (I know it’s not always as easy as you’d hope) - my mum and nanna couldn’t and we’re the first on both sides family to have a baby.. DH has some cousins’ wives who did but they are 2hrs 30mins away. Do midwives help with feeding? I think lots of people just pay for feeding consultants around here 😧

@TheYorkshirePudding I wouldn't worry too much about NCT if there isn't one near you. You could do one of the online NCT classes (though this doesn't help so much with developing friends). There might be other antenatal classes by other providers in your area if you want to do something to meet people more locally. I honestly found it was easier to pick up friends doing activities once baby was here, because you met people who were interested in similar kind of baby classes / groups. The place I found the most contacts was actually a local buggy walk group - because you were walking, you got chatting to people more than at a typical class, and there was a baby group a lot of people attended right afterwards.

In terms of breastfeeding, if you will get help from the midwives after birth. I took some measure beforehand - so I collected and froze colostrum before birth which the midwives in the hospital can give your baby if you bring it in from home. If you give birth in a hospital there are sometimes volunteers from the breastfeeding network who can spend more time with you than a midwife can to help support you. I was in hospital a few days because of post-birth issue with my bladder going into shock and needing catheterised. The midwives were ready good and you could use the buzzer (I was in an individual room not a ward) to ask a midwife to come check your latch. I also got support from one of the dedicated breastfeeding team at the hospital whilst I was in hospital. I got a visit at home when I was discharged from 1 of the breastfeeding team at the hospital, and I also had a couple of visits going into the hospital to get extra weights taken and support in the breastfeeding clinic at the hospital. I never paid for a feeding consultant, just used free support available.

I think there is a BIIIIIG generational thing in British culture around women saying they "couldn't" breastfeed, and I think a lot of it is just lack of proper information / knowledge and support to be honest (my mum never breastfeed either, also says she couldn't). Your milk doesn't always come in immediately for instance. I think there is also far too much pressure for baby to regain birth weight quickly, and the growth charts etc used in the UK are not representative of how a breastfed baby grows. I have a friend of another culture where breastfeeding is much more common, and made me realise how much we lack in this culture of seeing women breastfeed and talking about breastfeeding. I'd definitely say build up your knowledge and support network around breastfeeding as that post-partum period is full of SO many hormones (I cried A LOT) and you're overwhelmed by wanting to make sure your baby is ok, that its really confusing and difficult to know what to do if you feel there is any issue with breastfeeding. And the more stressed you become about feeding your baby the worse it is for your milk supply!

@TheYorkshirePudding ooo and get yourself this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ladybug-Collector-Breastfeeding-Food-Grade-Silicone/dp/B08DLHNFXT/ref=pd_lpo_sccl_1/260-4514437-8518548?pd_rd_w=ddwpU&content-id=amzn1.sym.448aab69-6fff-42b9-9d7a-f6325052a6f6&pf_rd_p=448aab69-6fff-42b9-9d7a-f6325052a6f6&pf_rd_r=CZM5E1NY248ZB7ZCTEXD&pd_rd_wg=4rhWg&pd_rd_r=bc884ab0-bc28-420d-9bce-0ef2a7d7e0e4&pd_rd_i=B08DLHNFXT&th=1

The Haakaa pump is really gentle and gives you a cheap pump option if you do want to explore pumping / unexpectedly end up needing to pump for a short period of time (I went through a period of trying to pump the side my DD doesn't feed from). The milk collector is AMAZING is you have leaky boobs - so the boob my DD doesn't feed from leaked when she was feeding from the other side, so I would collect the milk to use as a top up.

Also buy a set of reuseable / washable breast pads as in my experience the milk leakage particularly in the early days is unreal 😂 and a comfortable tank-top style bra to wear at night to stop yourself waking up in a breastmilk puddle. And Lanolin cream for the early days (your nipples will thank you https://www.boots.com/lansinoh-hpa-lanolin-10ml-10230475?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs_HeroCompare---_-PMax:+UK_Smart_Shopping_Toiletries&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwztOwBhD7ARIsAPDKnkD4gG1zJgq_yOxGiIUYO6SSkqk0YiZc_IXbh--efN3N8xP8OPJK_4gaAoadEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)

@TheYorkshirePudding This is all reminding me just how incredibly un-sexy post-partum is 😂

And buy several boxes of these: https://www.biggreensmile.com/products/natracare-natural-maternity-pads/natmpad.aspx?productid=natmpad&utm_source=google&utm_medium=merchant_centre&utm_campaign=merchant_centre&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwztOwBhD7ARIsAPDKnkBpQ_TU4Fp4w8l6BM8P7l_iWSl-1PnPd_njR--cBdLJrEOLZjza3zkaAnyhEALw_wcB

Because you will bleed for weeks after birth 😩 (I so wish I was kidding).

@2mumlife sorry I meant there’s no breastfeeding network groups near me (40mins away is nearest and it only opens for 1 hour). Thank you for all that information! That’s so useful! I sort of hoped to be lucky enough to be surrounded by people who have that type of hands on knowledge to impart but I’m just not, so thank you again 😊 I sometimes felt lonely during IVF and I don’t really want to feel like that post-partum with all the hormones flying around!

@2mumlife I was also going to ask about your experience with reusable nappies too. We’re really keen and have looked at some.. but again sort of feel out of our depth with no experienced family/friends

https://www.bambinomio.co.uk/products/the-everything-bundle?variant=42739071516872

@TheYorkshirePudding Ahhh! whoops! That's a shame there isn't a breastfeeding group closer to you, as its really good having someone to actually see your babies latch and help with positions etc. I didn't have any family support network really either going into DD, but it does work out, and you pick things up. I think just remember babies are really forgiving whilst you're figuring it all out!

The Nappy Lady is a great place to start. There is a good questionnaire that looks at what's important to you (e.g. ease of use, how quickly nappies dry etc) https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/nappy-advice-questionnaire.html which is a great place to start.

Its worth considering if you want to cloth from newborn, or not. Bambino Mio's and most other BTP (birth-to-potty) nappies DO NOT fit at birth (unless you have a really really big baby!!!). The nappy lady website as some really honest description of what weights the nappy is actually likely to cover. BUT saying that, Bambino Mio have updated their design looking at the link you shared (we have some Bambino Mio's but they are an older design, and this new design looks better!)

If you're thinking of going cloth, wait until cloth nappy week (which is the 22-28th April) to buy if you can, as you will get much better deals. You can also get good deals on second-hand nappies (save the planet twice). There are lots of facebook groups for buying/selling but also support and queries in general for using cloth nappies.

We bought some pocket nappies (where you insert an absorbent layer into a waterproof outer) for the newborn stag. But actually, what worked out the best financially and we ended up preferring were using muslinz muslins folded up with a cover/wrap - this kind of style is known as a 2-part system - as an absorbent layer with a separate waterproof layer. So we got 2 packs of these (different designs but same thing) https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/flat-nappies-prefolds/muslins-muslinz.html and some of these wraps in a small https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/mother-ease/mother-ease-velcro-fastening-rikki-wraps.html

You then fold the muslins (there are lots of folds you can do and online demonstrations) and secure with a nappy-nippa (think cloth pin with no pins, it just holds it in place) and put the wrap around it. Each wrap can withstand several changes (you don't change the wrap at every nappy change if its just wet). The muslins dry really, really quickly and can throw in the tumble drier, and the wraps again dry really quickly as they are basically just plastic. Its means you only need to keep a small stash if you're washing every other day, as things dry quickly. The bambino mio's I have are an older style that is AIO (all in one - i.e. the absorbent layer and waterproof layer are physically attached and cant be separated for washing) but it looks from the link you shared that this new 'revolutionary' style is now a pocket nappy (where you insert an absorbent layer that is not attached to the waterproof layer)

We didn't use cloth overnight when she was a newborn, as its just more fiddly doing cloth nappies at night when you want to keep changes quick, so we used disposables overnight for awhile. We didn't start doing over-night clothing either until she stopped pooing over night. If you want to not have to change the nappy for 12 hours overnight, you will likely eventually need something more absorbent than the Bambino Mio. We got some of these, again with separate waterproof wrap for overnight https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/best-sellers/bamboozle-stretch-stretchies-by-totsbots.html

I think with cloth many people think its all or nothing - we've very much found that we've used a combination of reusable and disposable nappies for different occasions. There are sometimes when life just gets a bit overwhelming to be washing a load of nappies, so we took breaks from cloth along the way.

Some people really like the nappy libraries, where you can hire a cloth nappy kit and see whether its for you before buying. Its also a good way of hiring nappies for the newborn stage without buying, and seeing what you like before buying BTP size nappies when baby is bigger