Page 5 | Partner Doesn't Want The Baby

figgyandpig · 10/08/2024 06:29

@Bluebirde You’re reaching the age where you want to be thinking of children yourself, in your 30s. Women’s eggs don’t last forever unlike males sperm.
Does he ever want children with you? I think when you have this chat with him these are things that could be addressed.
I want you to know you’re a good person & this will pass. I also had an abortion when I was 17. My mum basically made me but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had nothing, no job, no home no money. It was horrible, truly the worst thing to happen to me, the worst thing I’ve ever done.. the guilt was intense. I’d had unprotected sex, it was my fault, felt so stupid for being in that situation. But time has passed and I have made peace with what I did, and you will too. Be kind to yourself hunny xxx

Bond94 · 01/10/2024 07:44

Just found out I’m pregnant with my 4th child and my kids currently being 4,3 & 2. I was shocked when I found out as it wasn’t planned. My other half is determined for me to have an abortion and has said that if I continued with the pregnancy he’d walk. I don’t think he would but I can’t help thinking that he would if that makes sense - I’ve had issues with haemorrhaging all three labours and have been advised to have another would be extremely high risk. All the people I have spoken to have advised that having a termination is the right thing to do to the point where I’ve booked appointments at a clinic but I can’t help feeling I’m doing something wrong. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason and that god wouldn’t never give you something that you couldn’t handle and have always said I’d never have a termination. I’ve just started a new job which I love and my kids are now at school and preschool full time. Yes financially it will be hard but I’m so undecided and feel like I’m agreeing to that termination because everyone around me is telling me it’s the right decision …. What do I do?

MissingLists · 01/10/2024 08:28

@Bond94 So sorry you are going through this. A hard decision which is complicated by your medical issues. I am sure lots of people will be able to offer you some advice, but suggest you post this as a new post instead of a reply to an old one, in order to get more responses. Good luck.

FunRaven · 04/11/2024 23:53

Hello momma,
I know we don’t know each other, I know you love him so much, but he was aware that not protect himself that could cause this, when will be the time for him to have kids then? He should start supporting now, I believe from my own experience that you will regret more if you don’t have the baby, it’s your body your decision specially if you love the baby. Please keep it only god knows why he chose you to be a mother now and it’s because it’s the time. Don’t fear anything xx

FunRaven · 05/11/2024 00:05

I really would love to have a WhatsApp group to connect with mothers who are going through a pregnancy loss(miscarriage, stillborn, coercive reproductive”abortion”) it’s been so hard to do that, would love to hear other experiences to all of us get the strength to keep going. Hope hearing from
you to see if anyone is willing to do it and create friendships

Moonandsunandskies · 07/12/2024 19:55

FunRaven · 05/11/2024 00:05

I really would love to have a WhatsApp group to connect with mothers who are going through a pregnancy loss(miscarriage, stillborn, coercive reproductive”abortion”) it’s been so hard to do that, would love to hear other experiences to all of us get the strength to keep going. Hope hearing from
you to see if anyone is willing to do it and create friendships

Hi!

If you ever manage to set up a group count me in, I would love to be able to chat to women with similar experiences.

User37482 · 07/12/2024 19:59

I think your options are single parenthood or abortion and possibly never having kids with your partner because he just doesn’t want them. You wait a few years and he’ll say he’s too old.

SuzieC4891 · 16/12/2024 20:32

Me too, terrible decision on my part. Don’t do this for a man. Everything will work out ok, do what’s right for you 💓

KRP8 · 22/12/2024 15:31

hi. I really need help, I’ve just found out I anm unexpectedly pregnant, 8 months postpartum, while taking contraception.
my partner and I have known for over a week, and after some time to think I shared concerns about how I was worried about whether or not I would cope with 2 under 2. We have done nothing but argue for the whole week, partner does not want to keep the baby. I’ve had a medical termination previously, same partner but we were 18 and not financially stable etc.
I don’t know if I can do it again, the pain of an abortion, the guilt, the regret. All of it. I just don’t know what to do

Snowdogsmitten · 22/12/2024 17:58

The updates make for very sad reading.

I really hope the OP doesn’t waste her life on this twat.

Runnerinthenight · 22/12/2024 19:26

KRP8 · 22/12/2024 15:31

hi. I really need help, I’ve just found out I anm unexpectedly pregnant, 8 months postpartum, while taking contraception.
my partner and I have known for over a week, and after some time to think I shared concerns about how I was worried about whether or not I would cope with 2 under 2. We have done nothing but argue for the whole week, partner does not want to keep the baby. I’ve had a medical termination previously, same partner but we were 18 and not financially stable etc.
I don’t know if I can do it again, the pain of an abortion, the guilt, the regret. All of it. I just don’t know what to do

You'd get more replies if you started your own thread.

You could cope - people do, but it would be easier with a supportive partner. If you don't feel you could go through another termination, don't let your partner push you into it. The decision on this is yours.

Speak to a pregnancy counselling service, on your own. I hope you reach a decision that you are at peace with x

RedRobin4 · 03/12/2025 11:01

Bluebirde · 05/01/2024 23:02

Hi!

Looking to rant and get some support and advice here.

I'm 29 and this is my first ever pregnancy.
I'm 8 weeks today and after some discussions, my partner, 38, wants me to have an abortion. He said he would support me no matter what, but that he would prefer I terminated the pregnancy.
I really want to keep my baby.

I feel so guilty no matter what. I feel guilty that I'm considereing an abortion when I love this baby. I feel guilty that I don't want an abortion when my partner does.

My partner is very loving. He constantly tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and have kids with me when we're ready. I believe him and hope this is true - but I worry about the emotional strain this abortion will put on us.

Has anyone else had an abortion for their partner? How did it go?

I’m not sure if you’ll see this as it’s such an old post, but I’m in exactly the same situation you were, even the ages are the same. We’ve been together 6 years and just bought our first house together this year and unexpectedly just got pregnant. I’m sorry if this brings up bad memories for you but I was wondering how things have been since you made your decision? I’m really struggling to know what to do and was hoping I could get your advice, having been in the same situation.

Thanks ❤️

ComfortFoodCafe · 03/12/2025 12:05

This is really sad, hoping op left the little selfish prick in the end.

CabernetAndCocoMelon · 03/12/2025 12:49

Jellycats4life · 05/01/2024 23:04

He’s 38. If he isn’t ready to have a child now, when will he?

This. You don’t want him to keep stringing you along with that promise for it to never happen and then your late 30s/40s with no children and feeling unhappy.

imo there is never a “right time” to have a baby because they are expensive and exhausting however they bring the most amount of love and joy you could ever wish for.

if you terminate you may end up really resenting him. If your really wanting to keep your baby then do so. He may come around to the idea he may not.

but good luck op xxx

MyMilchick · 03/12/2025 12:53

Don't have an abortion if you don't want to.

MyMilchick · 03/12/2025 12:54

Didn't realise this thread was so old ffs