ERA EMMA ALICE infertility graduates/pregnancies thread 2

[Gardenlady543]

New thread @seven201 @Janefx40 @AM08 @thislittlebird @Spin101 @CB2805 @Dochas12111

@Janefx40 I'm up too since 3am, thanks to pregnancy! Have been told the pregnancy symptoms will go at birth, I hope so because I've had enough of acid reflux, vomiting, back ache and fatigue!

That's interesting that everyone seems to have had a big abdominal circumference on scans but then normal at birth!

I feel I made a very witty joke at lunch yesterday, the waitress asked "are you dining with any children today?" I looked down at my big bump and said "hopefully not"... she didn't get it

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you’re all doing well!

@AM08 im so sorry to hear with your birth experience and hope you are recovering well and your baby manages to poo asap!

@Gardenlady543 I’ve skimmed through the messages and I’m sorry you were left out of the NCT chat initially. I wondered if it could be due to you having a later due date (not that it makes it ok). I hope you’re feeling ok - not long to go now!

@seven201 i hope you’re doing well and hope bubs is able to do a proper poo soon!

Did any of you read any good books on pregnancy, birth or raising a baby that you recommend??

Merry Christmas to all 🎄🎅🏻. My 7 year old dd came in at 9.30pm, 1.45 and 5.30am and throw in a little baby that means hardly any sleep for me.

@Janefx40 she didn't really explain much and I was hoping for a one off treatment but we're going back in a week. She did say she had tension though. Worth a try! Baby did do a humongous poo this morning while other dd was opening her presents.

@Gardenlady543 I like your joke! Not long until you don't have the awful pregnancy side effects.

@Spin101 sorry, I didn't buy any books this time round. I remember someone lending me their copy of 'what to expect' but that was 8 years ago so there's probably better available now. I'd quite like a book on what the hell you're meant to do with babies and when as I can't really remember. I just do a lot of weird Google searches

@Spin101 I've heard good things about bringing up Bebe, it's an American living in France and she discusses French parenting methods. I've been too tired to read it so DH has read it on our behalf and said it's great.

Thank you everyone, it was physically and mentally very difficult at the time but I’m doing pretty well now and baby is indeed back to pooing somewhat regularly. Really really enjoying the newborn bubble, although DH only has another week and a half of paternity off now (he can’t take more in jan due to time of year so we’re going to take his other 4 weeks in May and go away.)

@seven201 that sounds like a very full on night! Imagine juggling two DC is another ball game.

@Spin101 the one we’re reading is ‘your baby week by week’ - we’re really enjoying it and finding it insightful

@Gardenlady543 your so nearly there now! So funny all of my pregnancy symptoms did just vanish including aversion to veg - hoping it’s the same for you.

@AM08 I am really hoping this happens for me, everyone is telling me post birth you feel back to normal again, honestly this feels like a chronic illness with the constant reflux, vomiting, pain, issues sleeping! Really glad you're enjoying the new born time :)

I'm just waiting on my preop assessment phone call they were supposed to call at 9:30am, but I only know about it as it appeared as a vague random midwife appointment in the app the midwives use.

@Gardenlady543 just wanted to say a massive good luck and send love for Friday. So excited for you xxx

Thankyou @Janefx40 I'm counting down the hours now, hope it's not cancelled with the strike action. I've managed to pull a muscle in my back which is really bad timing!

Hope everyone is ok :)

@AM08 @Gardenlady543 thank you for the book recommendations. I’ve heard really good feedback on your baby week by week.

@AM08 glad to hear you and baby are doing well!

@Gardenlady543 You’ve had such a journey - wishing you the best! Not too long until you get to hold your little girl in your arms 🥰🥰

@Gardenlady543 good luck for tomorrow!

@Gardenlady543 best of luck - will be thinking of you!

@Gardenlady543 good luck for today!

Thanks everyone she is here, after a 8 hour wait I was taken down, we discussed all the relaxing gentle c section stuff but the midwife saw I was bleeding at the last moment so they had to get on and get her out asap. She weighs 7 lb 8 oz and we're both doing ok.

@Gardenlady543 congratulations and welcome baby girl. She's here and that is what matters....❤️❤️❤️

@Gardenlady543 and very glad you are ok too!

@Gardenlady543 oh my!!! Congratulations!!! I hope you are both doing well. I don't even remember being in hospital after the birth really - is all such a blur now but I do remember that I found it really tough, so if you are too, that can be normal. Hope you're both home now and enjoying getting to know your little girl.

Hello, @Gardenlady543 sent me the thread link! I was on a previous Ema Alice thread and I recognise a few of your names from over there. I hope everyone is doing ok.

Our FET 3 has so far been successful. Im at week 8 day 6 today.

im actually writing for a bit of reassurance. Me and my husband have been travelling since 5 week pregnant (we booked it ages ago in an attempt to cheer us up from failed FET & TTC)

had a scan at 7 week 2 in Tokyo: measuring at 11.4mm and a good heartbeat of 157. I was pleased with this and it brought some joy and relief- we told close family members.

today I went for a scan in Phuket, Thailand and we’re measuring at “around 1.9cm”. Heartbeat sounded good. I booked the scan just because I’ve had enormous waves of anxiety these last few days. But actually the scan was very rushed, the image was super blurry and im concerned that im measuring too small. DH really wants me to start relaxing now but im finding it so hard. I guess im just looking for some reassurance that everything is going to be ok? It’s been really hard being away from home at times but then at other points the distraction is exactly what we need.

I’ve heard a good heartbeat at this stage is key. So im just holding on to that!

s x

@Sar1010 that sounds spot on, I measured 20mm and was dated as 8 weeks and 5 days. You're almost identical measurement and the and gestation. Also remember- there is variability between technicians, equipment and the criteria each place uses to date. I used to just use two places: ultrasound direct and the hospital, I was always 1 day different between the two so they obviously used different dating criteria. I'm sure all the holiday vibes are doing the world of good. When do you get back to the UK?

They kept me in hospital for 2 nights and I'm home now, I had a bad experience with a midwife on day 1, she was making a massive fuss over her feeding and ended up insisting I must hand express 10mls of colostrum and syringe feed it every 3 hours, she then insisted on hand expressing me continuously but clamped so hard I ended up bruised. The stress of it dried everything up. She acted like the baby was at a huge. I had a good person on that night though who helped get some good feeds in. I just can't get her to consistently latch and suckle, will see what the health visitor says as they will do the day after hospital visit today. It's tough as you get different advice from everyone about what is ok. Baby cried all night non stop last night I have seen this can be very normal and part of the 4th trimester.

@Sar1010 it sounds good to me as that is 8.5mm growth in the time. It's so hard to feel reassured but things seem to be going in the right direction.

@Sar1010 and congratulations on the pregnancy. I know it is such an anxious time but great to see you here x

@Gardenlady543 great that you are home. Those early days and weeks are tricky and everything you have described is totally normal. I definitely experienced that difference in care and being overwhelmed by different advice coming from all sides. I actually refused a lot of advice this time round for that reason.

Yes it is normal that they cry all night when you first get home! Not sure why. They just need to be held a lot for reassurance in those early days. It's hard work but normal and won't last long.

Feeding is tricky too for most of us in those early days. My advice is to find a lactation specialist that you trust early on and stick with them for advice rather than get it from all sides. La Leche league are amazing and will often give you lots of time on the phone. Not sure which area you are but ours covers Hertfordshire and Oxfordshire and she's amazing if you are in this area.

A great website is called Kelly Mom and has tons of breastfeeding advice.

Lots of babies find it hard to latch when they are very small. It takes a bit of patience and practice. Feeds can be very long and it is hard to know if they are getting enough. Babies cry when they are hungry but also when they are tired and it's easy to assume every cry means you're not feeding well enough. If she has wet nappies tho then the food is doing its job.

Neither of my babies has put on weight the way the health visitors wanted. It is common so don't panic if this happens either.

We have topped both of ours up with formula in the early days which for some reason felt very emotional at the time but is totally fine. Both of us have been EBF from 7-10 weeks onwards but formula feeding is also fine.

Just trying to say that it can be hard but it's all totally normal as you said yourself.

Sending you so much love x

@Sar1010 welcome aboard and congrats again!

@Gardenlady543 glad to hear you’re home and the baby arrived safely. Sorry to hear about the breast feeding experience, it sounds very stressful. Good luck with the crying and I hope you can get a little sleep soon.

I had my 20 week scan at the weekend and all was ok. Another one booked at 36 weeks now, it kinda shocked me how little they scan you. I’ve asked to be referred to ‘birth choices’ and I’m pretty sure they’ve ignored me. Can someone tell me when they were told they could have a c section by? It feels like 20 weeks + is late enough to be getting such appointments in place.

I’m terrified of being in hospital when the time comes, and honestly if someone touches me or hurts me in hospital I am likely to freak out. I’m very, very worried about having to go into hospital. I mentioned my mental health at my last midwife appointment and was told to ‘be positive’, which was not helpful.

Thanks @Janefx40 honestly this person has done so much hard she did so much scaremongering snd DH is now on edge making everything worse, she made a huge deal about hypoglycaemia happening and now DH thinks any challenge means imminent harm. We spoke to our NCT breast feeding support worker but I don't think they are available for more than the odd bit of advice. I just looked as my yoga teacher is also provides 1 on 1 breast feeding but it's £75 a time and I'm on maternity leave budge now. With formula tops ups, we made a bottle but it looks like she would need to suckle on it otherwise I would just be squirting in the mouth and she won't suckle. My supply is ok so it seems like formula won't really help at this point.

@thislittlebird that is so frustrating that they ignored your feelings :( what part of the hospital are you worried about, in general being in hospital or being in labour specifically? C section wise I'm really glad I did it, even though I don't really have a choice. I feel it is the safest way to get the baby out quickly, I had a double nuchal cord so the cord was wrapped round the neck twice and this is not something any scan showed, this wasn't an issue in the c section but if I'd been in labour when the baby descended and there were contractions it could have affected the oxygen supply to baby's brain. I feel so far my recovery has been a lot easier than my fibroid surgery, I opened bowels on day 1 (so important because otherwise everything back ups and vomiting happens), I'm moving about ok. It's so annoying they won't sort out letting you pick who does your surgery and getting a birth plan in place. During the c section a midwife stayed with me and I went through the plan with her before as well as the consultant, it did need to change with the bleeding though, I had wanted to baby to come out itself but with the bleeding I said, just get her out asap.

@Gardenlady543 Huge congratulations!! ❤️ Hope you’re loving all the cuddles and I hope feeding gets better. A friend of mine mentioned La Leche League too. I hope they’re able to help.

@Sar1010 congratulations on your pregnancy! I know it’s not easy but I hope you’re able to enjoy the rest of your trip!

@thislittlebird i had my 28 week appt on over the weekend and asked when we discuss the birth plan. They said something like 36 weeks which sounds ridiculously late to me! I think it’s important to ensure your voice is heard and if you feel like it isn’t, contact your hospital’s PALs

@Spin101 wow, that’s so late! You could have a whole baby by then, how stupid. They’ve booked me in for a 36 week scan and a consultant appointment on 8th of May which is just so incredibly late. I don’t want to discuss induction on 8th May, I want to have a c section booked in well before that. I’m going to try calling my midwife (who I’ve seen once) this week, and then maybe try my GP who was helpful before and said she’d refer me to a consultant if they wouldn’t. PALS is another good option.