My sonographer just said "clever boy"

[Anyflippingname]

About my baby at a 28 week scan (being monitored for closely in this pregnancy for various reasons).

I had hoped to keep the sex a surprise and had told her I didn't want to know when she asked.

She and her doctor colleague immediately said, oh no she doesn't mean it's a boy, she always calls babies "boy"🤔

She then found me later and apologised again and reiterated that she hadn't checked the sex so she definitely didn't know what it was.

I said both times that it was fine and didn't matter.

Is this as cut and dried as it seems? It seems such an unlikely slip of the tongue when she said it with so much certainty.

It happened to me, I was in hospital for 5 days before delivery and every midwife asked do you know the sex I said No, but at some point they referenced he. I don’t think it’s the ‘it’ factor I think they are just so used to people knowing now it just slips out? The ones that didn’t say he said baby not it. You’re still in the same situation though OP you still don’t know for sure??

Dammed if they say it, baby ,boy or girl
Enjoy knowing your baby is fine and put this out of your head .

I'm surprised that professionals would routinely call all babies "he". Seems rather misogynistic

Surely far easier to say "baby" or "the baby"

If it’s any consolation, I didn’t want to know the sex of my twins, had loads of scans and noticed they were referred to as “he” at times. I was disappointed they’d let the cat out of the bag (for the record, didn’t mind what they were, just hoped for healthy babies and wanted the sex to be a surprise at birth). Ended up with 2 girls. So probably doesn’t mean anything 🤷🏼‍♀️

They don’t check if you don’t ask and generally choose a gender rather than it

Something similar happened to me at my 29 week scan. Referred to baby as a boy and then corrected jerk self to baby. Was convinced she’d actually let slip the baby’s gender. Turned out to be a girl so I wouldn’t read too much into it.

My 3rd was referred to as she in a scan but the midwife said that's how she described all babies Just as well I didn't take it seriously as "she" is most definitely a he.

If I didn’t mind what I was having then I would have loved it to be a surprise.

You always see films where the midwife holds the baby up and says you’ve got a baby boy! And it’s really joyful.

I would but neutral colours and then love having that surprise.

Unfortunately I assumed I was having a particular sex and couldn’t comprehend that it might not be.
So I found out the sex to prepare myself.
It was the opposite sex than what I thought I was having and it took me a few weeks to come to terms with it and I would worry if I gave birth and then found out that I would struggle.
(I have absolutely no regrets now and I love that my child is the sex they are and couldn’t imagine having the opposite now).

This happened at all my scan with the youngest 2 boys. I knew i was having boys bt they kept being referred to as girls. Pinch of salt OP

As someone who didn't want to find out in both my pregnancies, I can understand why you're a little upset. But that's not to say they gave the game away, a lot of sonographers use one term or the other.

You’re totally allowed to feel whatever you feel about what happened and once again do not let people on here gaslight you into feeling like you’re being ‘ungrateful’ or complaining ‘about nothing’ you’re not doing that. I would be pissed off if I was told what sex my baby was going to be when I didn’t want to know and it’s perfectly normal to feel that way. She should have said baby. Not boy or girl. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

'appropriate' clothes... is their such a thing as 'inappropriate clothes' for a baby?

You do know many people aren't privileged enough to have 'nurseries', we live in a housing crisis. Not that you even need one as baby is suppose to stay with you for the first 12 months for safety reasons.

I picked out my all 3 of my names over a decade before I had my kids, we have two more (1 boy and 1 girl) ready to go if we ever somehow had a surprise baby. Frankly I like that I KNOW they have the longevity of the names being loved for years and standing the test of time, changing season and local naming trends and aren't just a fad name I rushed to pick in a few months, probably compromise on and might end up going off.

I had a similar experience and assumed it was a done deal. Baby was a girl! I genuinely now think the sonographer didn't know.

A sonographer referred to our baby as “she” multiple times during our first scan at 13 weeks. I wasn’t sure if they just referred to all babies as “she”, but she did end up being a girl!

50/50 chance. I read of an obstetrician back before scans who had a reputation for accurately predicting the sex of the unborn baby. He later confessed his secret. He would tell the pregnant woman that her baby was one sex and then write the opposite sex in her notes for that visit. Baby born and he was right confirming his reputation, baby born and wrong sex and he would say mother was mistaken and show her what he'd written down. Again confirming his reputation.

I have no idea if it was true but it certainly could be.

Update (name change): he's a beautiful boy x

Congratulations! It was always going to be 50/50 though.

Congratulations, @Verycherryberry - what lovely news!