My sonographer just said "clever boy"

[Anyflippingname]

About my baby at a 28 week scan (being monitored for closely in this pregnancy for various reasons).

I had hoped to keep the sex a surprise and had told her I didn't want to know when she asked.

She and her doctor colleague immediately said, oh no she doesn't mean it's a boy, she always calls babies "boy"🤔

She then found me later and apologised again and reiterated that she hadn't checked the sex so she definitely didn't know what it was.

I said both times that it was fine and didn't matter.

Is this as cut and dried as it seems? It seems such an unlikely slip of the tongue when she said it with so much certainty.

Totally get where you're coming from OP, and you've said it 'doesn't matter' because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't. But it's still disappointing when you've specifically asked not to be told, and now you've got an extra layer of doubt on top of that. People dismissing your feelings on this are being knobs. Congratulations and good luck with whoever you end up having!

We said we didn’t want to know with our first so she said she wouldn’t check. They have to get the Doppler in the right place so 🤷

I don’t think they do automatically check the sex. I wanted to know and asked at the end of my scan - and they couldn’t tell me; had to get the kit out again to find out. So if they said she always uses “he”, I’d believe them. They have to say something; using “the baby” all the time is long winded, “it” would offend some people and just “baby” is twee. Congratulations on your forthcoming new arrival!

Mine was frequently referred to as "his" and "he" ... both are girls 😂

"Team green"?! I thought it was yellow

They default to ‘he’ or ‘boy’ because the expectant mother is ‘she’. For now anyway, I know we won’t be allowed to assume that for much longer

with so many expectant parents pressurising them to know the sex so that they can have their reveal parties you are probably in the minority. i wanted to know the sex of my first two but not for my third or subesequent babies. if you know, you dont have to tell anyone else, we didnt.

I don't get why people like the sex to be a surprise.

With my kids, I always wanted to know the sex as soon as possible so I could get the appropriate clothes, nursery toys, think of names etc

Thank you

Can they even tell at that point? With my first I had to have some extra scans and I remember asking at one if they could confirm the sex (I couldn't wait to know and then heard a load of stories about them getting it wrong!) and he said no, the baby is too big and you can't see anymore. The sonographer probably does just say 'good boy'...bit weird but hey! I'll tell you one thing, the best bit about having a baby is having the baby in your arms, not finding out if it's a girl or boy! Good luck with it all xxx

Yes she knows. She can obviously tell. How annoying though.

We found out the sex with ours and the sonographer said 'her' referring to our male baby. After a very alarmed 'what?!' from 35 week pregnant me, she explained some just have specific ways to refer to them if they're not already aware of the sex and it was still a boy 😂 don't worry!

Oh, I've just seen all the comments saying it doesn't matter. I'd be pissed off if I specifically said I didn't want to know...although that was 2 months ago and if your having extra scans because of concerns for the baby maybe the sonographer is just a really caring person and wishing the baby well? It must be hard not to slip up, not on the day but in the following months!
There are loads of threads about getting it wrong...you really never know even if you do ask!
Every pregnancy has its problems ...not one of them is ever perfect. Once your baby is here the whole world changes for the better and it all becomes an anecdote; you'll be telling people about the sonographer who let the cat out the bag at all the baby groups you go to! Xx

They like to refer to the baby as a gender. Some use the male gender in order to distinguish from the Mum and others call the baby a girl which is confusing as at times you don’t know if they are addressing yourself or the baby

Was about to say the same thing!

Might be different now but back when I had mine the convention was mum was she and baby was he just to make it clear and simple. Maybe she views it like that.

Anyway hope everything is going well, trying to work out dates and think it will be a New Year baby? What a great start to 2024.

I understand what you are asking and why. In my experience they do usually call baby a “he” - guess it just feels more personal than it. Anyway, you don’t have very long to go before you know for sure! Good luck

If only…

I am a translator so have translated several scans...the sonographer has more than once said 'I will say he and boy, but that does not mean its a boy'.

They slipped up both times with ours. First time said could be a ballerina and then quickly added of sorts. Second time I am sure she said, eating her hands. Both girls 💖 It happens and I still wasn't 100% til they arrived, not a big deal.

For them it's probably like with dogs!
If you meet a lovely pup or cute dog on a walk and it came over I'd always say 'who's a good boy. Oh who's a lovely boy' without actually knowing.

I went for a growth scan at about 34 weeks and the sonographer kept saying ‘there’s HIS arms’ ‘HIS legs’ etc. I was having a surprise so thought- oh so it’s a boy then, ruined the surprise.
I had a girl. I think some just use his or her without thinking

My son was referred to as “he” quite a while before he was born. The hospital didn’t give the sex of the babies at that time but I was excited to think it was a boy.

I hate 'it', it's so dehumanising, and babies are humans. I prefer 'they' but my sonographer friend said enough people have freaked out thinking they're having multiples when a sonographer has tried to use a neutral term!

I think the best is just 'baby'. You can use that pretty easily. 'I'm just going to move over here to see baby better' etc.