Bridesmaid at almost 39 weeks

[becomingfall]

Title says it all really. I feel super selfish with how much I am dreading the day as the bride is my best friend and she was so excited when I got married and went out of her way in every way possible.

I’m just over 37 weeks now and unsure what this baby is doing but I can’t manage more than 30 mins without having to pee (and then it’s mostly just a waste of time trickle!) and my bump just suddenly feels SO heavy, like my round ligaments are pulling down into my legs when I’m up and walking around- it’s unpleasant!

Coupled with the general end of pregnancy exhaustion I just can’t drum up any enthusiasm for the day. My dress is maternity but has no give at all around the ribs- I haven’t put weight on here but my rib cage has expanded making it so tight and uncomfortable, I’m dreading wearing it all day. I’m 100% taking a different outfit for after photos/meal but when I mentioned this and the reason to the bride she was a bit funny with me. I wouldn’t be too upset if I happened to go into labour the night before, I just feel like a bad friend though 🙈

I didn’t have any bridesmaids so it isn’t a complete disaster if she doesn’t end up with any. Assume bride has other friends/relatives who can support her on the day.

If you feel up to it but find the dress too uncomfortable then just wear whatever you are comfortable (the wedding isn’t all about the photos!)

I knew about being a bridesmaid pre-pregnancy but having never wanted to be treated any different than a non-pregnant woman throughout I just figured yes I’d probably be uncomfy but I’d cope

Being uncomfy and coping is one thing, but did you not clue on that babies don’t always come on due dates and could just as easily come the week before as on time or the week after? Not to mention the potential pantomime of water breaking during vows or whatnot at that point? Mine all went with a huge sudden waterfall as dramatic as you see on tv (but unfortunately I didn’t have mine within 5min as you see on tv), so wanting to be there as support is fine but chancing being the centre of attention if that happens is odd.

I think the glaring concern I can see here is what if you go into labour at her WEDDING? It’s so selfish of her to expect you to be an ordinary bridesmaid when it’s that uncomfortable and you are that due. If it means her two bridesmaids are out of the picture pregnant, TOUGH. I got married last year, there is no way in hell I would have expected that of any of my bridesmaids, I had three so just having one there if the other two were pregnant and due would not have bothered me at all and I would have totally understood (probably more so now that I’m pregnant!) She’s also taking the risk of you going into labour on her wedding day, so if you don’t feel good or baby’s coming, screw her and go to the hospital. Your priority right now is your baby, not her wedding.

I was a bridesmaid at 35 weeks. Tried to withdraw politely weeks earlier and bride was teary/angry/manipulative. I gave in on the basis that it seemed to matter hugely to her and I was too conflicted to be firmer. It was hell; the day absolutely dragged and I just wanted to lie down. I sat down at every opportunity and was in flip flops from 4pm, but every part of me was exhausted.

You need to be near your hospital of choice when you’re so far along. It’s madness to think you can attend this wedding. And if you somehow do, all the guests will be 😧 that you’re even there, and wonder why you’ve been put/put yourself in this position.

@SleepPrettyDarling Did you forgive your selfish twat of a friend?