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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

We had unprotected sex

119 replies

FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 21:14

Hi I’m new here :) Can someone help me? I have read so many different stories online.. idk what to believe anymore. I tried to calculate dates but many website say many different things. So I’m sharing mine so I could maybe get some personal experience stories :)

Me (23) and my partner (25) would like to have kids. My partner has a well paying job and we’re gonna try to buy a home with enough space for a kiddo, hopefully somewhere in 2024. Our life is pretty good and I’m really grateful for that <3

So here’s the thing.. we were away for a couple of days and we were feeling romantic. We hadn’t had quality time for weeks due to finishing school & working a lot. We had unprotected sex on July 31st and also on August 1st. We both know the consequence of this of course. We’re both like ‘if it happens it happens’.

He did not ejaculate inside of me, that happened like a couple of minutes later. So, if I am right, the only way I could be pregnant is because of pre-cum containing sperm from the day before.. how high would the chance be that I’m pregnant? Did someone experience the same kind of thing? Have I been informed the right way?

My period started July 21th. I have had a very regular cycle of exactly 26 days for the past 4 months.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I know this is the internet and people don’t know me irl so I just wanted to include some info of things that people could ask me. I’m not scared at all, just very nervous and kinda exited to know if I am actually pregnant or not. I will, of course, wait for my period to come and do a test if it doesn’t ;) So I’ll wait for replies and will definitely update!

OP posts:
Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:45

@Usernameunknownfornow 🤣 but you still had to get your last say in

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:46

Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:45

@Usernameunknownfornow 🤣 but you still had to get your last say in

So did you right 🤣

Katey83 · 02/08/2023 22:49

It’s not very likely because your boyfriend didn’t ejaculate in you. If you want a baby, it’s best you get him to not pull out. Yes, you can still get pregnant, but it’s really unlikely.

ExcitingTimes2021 · 02/08/2023 22:49

Hmmmmm. It could happen but like others have said it’s unlikely. It can be surprisingly difficult to get pregnant (not for everyone). Films and TV honestly make it out like you have one little slip up and that’s you good and pregnant. The reality can be very different.

That being said, I’m currently unexpectedly 6 months pregnant with number 2 after ONE slip up, and problems conceiving my first. So you just never know…

Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:50

@Usernameunknownfornow now who's childish 😂

Jk987 · 02/08/2023 22:55

Why are you at school at the age of 23?

Dibbydoos · 02/08/2023 23:00

Yes it's def possible you could be pregnant, but as you're not bothered if you do get pregnant, stop worrying.

Idk if its the same for everyone, but I knew I was pregnant within a day of having sex. I felt it. If you can't feel it your probably not pregnant - you'll know pretty soon if your P comes along or not.

Everything happens for a reason.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 02/08/2023 23:02

It’s highly unlikely you are pregnant.

I think you need to decide whether you want a baby right now or not.
If you both definitely do then there’s no point in using contraception or pulling out.

There is also no point testing unless your period is late.
So wait until about 5 days after your next period and if there’s still no period then take a test.

I personally would try and buy a home before you have a baby.

It is much harder to get a mortgage after you’ve had kids and it’s going to be a stress you don’t need and won’t have time for once the baby is here.

Either put off having a baby for a year or buy a home ASAP and then try for a baby.

JokerAndTheQueen · 02/08/2023 23:04

@FutureMommy sorry to see your having a harsh time on here. People seem set on having to be older to have children but there are pros and cons to both. No one here can know if you are pregnant but if you are not I would seriously recommend holding off until you have purchased your house. Child care is expensive and you will need to factor that in should you need to use it budget wise. Paying childcare meant mortgage lenders dropped what they would lend us by 90k. It didn't matter that we would get the 30 free hours within weeks of moving in

UnicornStarfish · 02/08/2023 23:07

Possible, not probable. Having said that the chances one will get hit by a lightning bolt are slim but there are people who've been hit twice.
Not so long ago a guy was in a helicopter that crashed. They sent in another one to get him and guess what?... If you're think it crashed with him in it, you've guessed right!

TyrannasaurusJex · 02/08/2023 23:15

I'm pretty sure OP is in America, maybe the south with the "y'all"s - might be a lot more common life choice to have kids in early 20's? Who knows!

But OP I ageee with PP that you sound kind of confused about whether you want to get pregnant or not. The withdrawal method is terrible contraception but it's also a terrible conception approach!

Ombrémermaid · 02/08/2023 23:30

I was 23 having my first, and my husband was 25.

We had also been married for 4.5 years by then. I married not long after leaving school.

We have been together 18 years now, have 3 kids, Successful careers etc now; but didn’t back then.

We didn’t have much as young parents, didn’t own a home then. Barely made ends meet; but we did love our child and gave them the best we had. No regrets. I wish you well OP.

You don’t need anyone’s affirmations.

Snugglemonkey · 02/08/2023 23:33

ConnieTucker · 02/08/2023 21:45

We’re both like ‘if it happens it happens

you're 23! Buy the house and live a life before having a child. Get on some contraception.

So this!

caringcarer · 02/08/2023 23:43

You asked if you could be pregnant. The answer is very unlikely as your partner ejaculated after withdrawal. If you were both trying for a baby he wouldn't do that would he? You have loads of time for a baby consider getting married first.

Busylizzie85 · 03/08/2023 05:31

@FutureMommy go for it I wish I had been in your position and had been able to have children at your age!
Chances that your pregnant are slim from what your saying but it sounds as if you are ready so after this cycle why not keep trying and see what happens! I personally wish you all the luck and I hope you have a wonderful happy life.

snoopy18 · 03/08/2023 06:07

Yes it is possible!That’s how my first son happened 😂 good luck OP

scrantonelectriccity · 03/08/2023 06:16

WallaceinAnderland · 02/08/2023 22:15

OP are you renting at the moment, living together or separately? If not, I would do that first before committing to a child.

She didn't ask!

YukoandHiro · 03/08/2023 06:22

ConnieTucker · 02/08/2023 21:45

We’re both like ‘if it happens it happens

you're 23! Buy the house and live a life before having a child. Get on some contraception.

I mean, yes, ideally... but she's not 15 and she's saying that if she's pregnant it's not ideal but not the end of the world. What's to get upset about here?

I had my eldest at 35 and am so utterly knackered now in my 40s that I think there's a very good argument for doing it younger if you've found the right partner 🤷🏻‍♀️

Begonne · 03/08/2023 06:46

To answer your question, if your cycle is normal, the timing of Aug 1 st would be right before ovulation and the maximum chance of being pregnant.

I think the withdrawal method is said to have a failure rate of around 20% but it’s impossible to know if that really means people getting pregnant from
precum as there are too many other factors that complicate that.

If you’re trying to conceive the ideal circumstances are to have had sex 2 days before the fertile window and then again right before ovulation because it maximises the health of the sperm.

So this is my caution - if you want to get pregnant (and have unprotected sex), and he doesn’t (he withdraws) you’re not working with top quality sperm.

Having a baby is a really risky financial decision but it can be a factor in plunging you and the baby into poverty if things don’t work out. That’s one of the reasons why it’s advisable to be career stable, and to have a legal commitment of marriage from the dad first.

Men like unprotected sex. And it’s not a huge risk for them - they don’t carry the baby, suffer birth injuries or complications and can walk away without even reputational damage. Even if they pay statutory child support it’s a pittance compared with the real cost of raising a child. Meanwhile they can work in encumbered and get pay rises and promotions while the woman is eking it out on benefits or barely out earning her childcare bill. It is massively unfair.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/08/2023 07:02

if you’d try to discuss a happy topic and getting all kinds of negative responses.

But this isn't what you asked about!

You asked how possible it was you were pregnant, given your DP didn't ejaculate inside.

The first answers told you: unlikely

You then talked about wanting to be pregnant. If you do, the obvious answer is to have sex, where your DP ejaculates inside you!

The combination of this does make you sound a bit unprepared for conceiving a baby.

I do think 23 is young, on balance, but that's entirely your decision. It is advisable to be fully aware of how life-changing having a baby is, and again, your answers didn't reflect this.

Hibiscrubbed · 03/08/2023 07:12

Do you work @FutureMommy?

If not, get a job. Build a career or at least have something to give you financial independence. You say you’ve studied, use it.

Save money.

Get a house.

Get married.

Then have a kid.

Dotcheck · 03/08/2023 07:24

OP
I think you’ve had some negative responses because you said your partner has a good job- not that YOU have a good job.
Every day on mumsnet there are threads started by women who are trapped by their circumstances. They either never had a career or they gave it up to have kids. Then their relationship tanked/ partner started treating them badly, and they were stuck financially. That is what everyone is reacting to.

You could indeed be ovulating. Your situation is how I got pregnant the first time.

openthecurtainsagain · 03/08/2023 07:57

Ouch, there's some really bitter replies on here. I'm sorry OP!

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having children young - the main thing (I think) is that you're in a strong, healthy relationship (which it sounds like you are).

If you're genuinely not bothered as to whether it's now or a couple of years down the line, you might want to consider buying/moving and getting married first. House buying is a stressful thing and it will be trickier if you've got a little one to think of too.

I don't have any advice on the question you asked but I could see you'd walked into the nasty/deep end of MN and I wanted to say something nice.

cronicpain · 03/08/2023 08:05

GrazingSheep · 02/08/2023 22:10

Maybe talk to real people and don’t depend on the internet.

Ehhh this is a parenting app, where advice is sought. What you on here for??

Mumsnet can be weird sometimes. I'm sure some posters have such boring lives they come on for an argument or to bully.

Kazzyhoward · 03/08/2023 08:31

Not sure I understand all this at all. You clearly want to get pregnant, so why all the drama about him pulling out and then you wondering if his pre-cum could have made you pregnant. If you BOTH want to get pregnant, then he needs to cum in you, properly, to increase the chances. It actually sounds like he doesn't want to get you pregnant, but that you're hoping you are anyway. All very strange. Sounds as if you want an "accidental" pregnancy!

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