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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

We had unprotected sex

119 replies

FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 21:14

Hi I’m new here :) Can someone help me? I have read so many different stories online.. idk what to believe anymore. I tried to calculate dates but many website say many different things. So I’m sharing mine so I could maybe get some personal experience stories :)

Me (23) and my partner (25) would like to have kids. My partner has a well paying job and we’re gonna try to buy a home with enough space for a kiddo, hopefully somewhere in 2024. Our life is pretty good and I’m really grateful for that <3

So here’s the thing.. we were away for a couple of days and we were feeling romantic. We hadn’t had quality time for weeks due to finishing school & working a lot. We had unprotected sex on July 31st and also on August 1st. We both know the consequence of this of course. We’re both like ‘if it happens it happens’.

He did not ejaculate inside of me, that happened like a couple of minutes later. So, if I am right, the only way I could be pregnant is because of pre-cum containing sperm from the day before.. how high would the chance be that I’m pregnant? Did someone experience the same kind of thing? Have I been informed the right way?

My period started July 21th. I have had a very regular cycle of exactly 26 days for the past 4 months.

Sorry for the long paragraph. I know this is the internet and people don’t know me irl so I just wanted to include some info of things that people could ask me. I’m not scared at all, just very nervous and kinda exited to know if I am actually pregnant or not. I will, of course, wait for my period to come and do a test if it doesn’t ;) So I’ll wait for replies and will definitely update!

OP posts:
Original poster
FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:12

I have tried that. But not many people nowadays want kids young. All my girlfriends are the same age but don’t want kids (yet). I don’t have contact with my mom and the only woman with kids I can talk to is my mother in law. But I wouldn’t like sharing these kind of details with her. That’s why I’m here. I just thought this place would have more respectful people and I’m kinda overwhelmed by the negativity while I’m just wrote a very happy post

OP posts:
Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:12

FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:10

I’m sorry but where did I say I don’t have one? You could’ve asked my nicely if I have and I would’ve nicely said I do have a solid relationship with an amazing man who will be the best father in the world. I’m literally happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life because of him. He makes my life complete and a child would make ours complete.

Sorry but you definitely are not ready for a baby just by reading what you are posting, you sound soo childish and it's nothing to do with your age, it's like you are arguing with everyone on here

TeaKitten · 02/08/2023 22:14

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:12

Sorry but you definitely are not ready for a baby just by reading what you are posting, you sound soo childish and it's nothing to do with your age, it's like you are arguing with everyone on here

Show quote history

That’s because she is getting a lot of rude replies, why shouldn’t she argue back?

Morechocmorechoc · 02/08/2023 22:14

It's because your question comes across like you are too young to have kids. Not your age being the problem.

Just wait and see. Also maybe get married and buy a house and settle yourselves. Then have a kid. It's a lot to do this before hand. On a separate note are you American with the y'all comments?

Original poster
FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:14

I just would really like to have a nice convo with someone about this, but everywhere I go people aren’t nice to me because I’m young. I’m frustrated that people think they can act like this behind their screens, not thinking about the fact that actual human beings are behind the post..

OP posts:
Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:14

@Usernameunknownfornow are you for real?? You're making judgements on someone you dont know and shes standing up for herself! Jeeez. Far from childish she is calm and polite!

ConnieTucker · 02/08/2023 22:15

Whats your career path, op?
why not buy the house and get married first?
why are you replying on him to provide you with happiness? Having a crappy childhood and having a child with the first man who shows you kindness is not the way to grow.

what is the rush?

WallaceinAnderland · 02/08/2023 22:15

OP are you renting at the moment, living together or separately? If not, I would do that first before committing to a child.

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:15

Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:14

@Usernameunknownfornow are you for real?? You're making judgements on someone you dont know and shes standing up for herself! Jeeez. Far from childish she is calm and polite!

If you comment so.. Calm down btw

Original poster
FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:16

I know I don’t have to reply to them but I was overwhelmed because after reading comments on this site I felt like people would accept me. But obviously they don’t.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 02/08/2023 22:16

FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:14

I just would really like to have a nice convo with someone about this, but everywhere I go people aren’t nice to me because I’m young. I’m frustrated that people think they can act like this behind their screens, not thinking about the fact that actual human beings are behind the post..

Just don’t announce your age next time OP, it wasn’t relevant to your post anyway. Nothing wrong with having kids at 23, but you’ve received lots of crappy replies having a go at your age so next time I would just leave that bit out.

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:17

Morechocmorechoc · 02/08/2023 22:14

It's because your question comes across like you are too young to have kids. Not your age being the problem.

Just wait and see. Also maybe get married and buy a house and settle yourselves. Then have a kid. It's a lot to do this before hand. On a separate note are you American with the y'all comments?

Exactly I was 14 when I had my first so no judgment here I'm only a few years older than op.

WallaceinAnderland · 02/08/2023 22:18

People are saying immature because you had unprotected sex. You should only do that if you are trying to conceive, in which case he wouldn't be withdrawing. So it's an immature view to life.

Original poster
FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:19

You guys are very rude people. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself the question how you’d react if you’d try to discuss a happy topic and getting all kinds of negative responses. I’m a real human being okay? Yes I’m young, but I feel so alone in this and would just like some help to try and understand things. I’ll try to find more real life girlfriends who understand and respect me. I won’t come back here

OP posts:
Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:19

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:17

Exactly I was 14 when I had my first so no judgment here I'm only a few years older than op.

Show quote history

I mean't 13

MaryMoppins · 02/08/2023 22:20

Hey OP, I am for one really excited for you and your partner. I think having kids young is a wonderful idea.

as to whether pregnancy is possible in your circumstances - it’s sooo sooo difficult to tell. As someone said, do download an app (I used Clue) which is pretty good at showing you your fertile dates. Also; sorry for TMI, but you might be able to tell if you are ovulating based on the change in your discharge. When it gets really sort of sticky and clear - that’s ovulation and the most fertile period.

then, whilst it’s very possible to get pregnant through Precum, it will greatly depend on yours and your partners fertility. I had a friend who did not fall pregnant till 10 years into relationship with her first husband (he had issues) and then she had three unplanned children (having sex in ‘non-fertile’ days) with her second husband. So it will be just a huge guess.

Buy a first response test - it can show if you are pregnant a few days early. Good luck with the house and everything else!

MaryMoppins · 02/08/2023 22:24

Also feel free to pm me any time. And whilst withdrawing can’t provide contraception, I don’t think it’s weird if you are in a long term secure relationship which you are so I think if you would welcome children but don’t want to rush, sounds like a great approach to me. Better than swallowing lots of hormones.

Oatycookies · 02/08/2023 22:25

My best friend had kids at age 23 or 24 and it’s worked out wonderfully but she got married first and has a very supportive family on both her and her husbands side. She was also very mature and had a great career and her husband did too. I

agree with others OP sounds very young and people do a lot of growing up between their early to late 20s which often means growing apart from their partners, so having kids early isn’t for everyone but it does depend.

1stepforward2stepsback · 02/08/2023 22:29

I had my first at 22 and managed fine without the ideal supportive relationship. Plenty of women have babies in their twenties and make great parents.

I suspect the comments about you being childish are based on a snobby reaction to your phrasing and sentence structure rather than anything you’ve actually written in your posts. Mumsnet can be a big judgemental about things like that, don’t take it personally.

In answer to your question, pregnancy is possible but unlikely.

As you are young enough to not be worried about ‘running out of time’, I would suggest you use a short term contraceptive (such as the pill) until you are definitely ready to start actively trying to conceive… only because otherwise the wondering am I / aren’t I every month can drive you a bit crazy, which is frustrating enough when your trying, but an unnecessary stress if pregnancy is unlikely (due to him withdrawing).

Its great that your thinking about starting a family, think about what you would like to have sorted first (maybe house / wedding / job - up to you), and start working on those now.

ConnieTucker · 02/08/2023 22:32

FutureMommy · 02/08/2023 22:19

You guys are very rude people. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself the question how you’d react if you’d try to discuss a happy topic and getting all kinds of negative responses. I’m a real human being okay? Yes I’m young, but I feel so alone in this and would just like some help to try and understand things. I’ll try to find more real life girlfriends who understand and respect me. I won’t come back here

Thats great, op. You should build up your friendship circle in real life. You should build a secure life before having children.

ChatBFP · 02/08/2023 22:34

Hi OP

I think that you've had some judgemental replies, but I think it's probably partly the way your OP is written.

You are probably a very responsible person, but the fact that you've had unprotected sex, but he has withdrawn but you're hoping that you're pregnant is kind of not one thing (not trying) or the other (actively trying). The fact that you're not married yet and haven't bought a house yet gives the impression that you haven't necessarily done that much planning - if you search threads on here, you'll find loads where woman gets pregnant with unmarried love of life , she has no claim on the property and he leaves her (and her kids) up shit creek, which is why many women on here are skeptical about those who say "we haven't done that stuff yet, but it will all work out because we are in love"

No excuse for being rude though!

Doyoumind · 02/08/2023 22:38

I don't understand how you've been together for 5 years but aren't using contraception.

As others have said, you're unlikely to be pregnant, and I agree with the PP that suggested the rush into a long term relationship and motherhood could be related to your issues with your own mother.

Go ahead and have children now, but you asked for opinions and got them, and some people don't think it's a great idea. If you don't want opinions, don't go looking for them.

Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:41

@Doyoumind she never asked for opinions on whether she should get pregnant or not. She asked if she could be pregnant!

Usernameunknownfornow · 02/08/2023 22:43

Flowerlover010 · 02/08/2023 22:41

@Doyoumind she never asked for opinions on whether she should get pregnant or not. She asked if she could be pregnant!

That's exactly what she got! The OP is gone now so you stop this defensive mode

strawberry2017 · 02/08/2023 22:44

You literally had sex the last 2 days, no way of knowing chances of being pregnant because it will all depend on when you ovulate and your cycle. Don't over think it. If it's happened then it's happened. But it will be a few weeks before you know anything.

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