Due October 2023 Thread 8

[Chanteuse]

New thread for our October group - third trimester time!!

I'm really sorry you've been treated that way.

Please do read up on your rights here so you can make a fully informed decision

www.birthrights.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Your-right-to-a-caesarean-birth-FINAL.pdf

I'm having an elective c section for medical reasons but feel very lucky my trust offers them at maternal request if discussions have been offered and the mum still feels it's what she wants.

Milli Hill's book Give Birth Like a Feminist is a good read for anyone wanting advice on how to advocate for their birth rights. I don't agree with all her views, she is a bit too anti interventions of any kind for me, but there is some good advice in there. Also Emily Oster's Expexting Better for pros and cons of various birth interventions.

@peonygirl

My midwife told me today it is the society who build such a negative stigma around birth that makes us all so worried but negative emotions during birth are detrimental to the course of birth. The body should be flooded with love hormone not adrenaline and flight/fight mode.

This bit did make me laugh - because society isn't the thing creating maternal anxiety, it's having the joint worst maternal care services in the western developed world! Maybe if they bucked up their ideas about maternity care fewer women would go sod it, I'm having the ELCS.

@Summer022 - I'm sorry that they aren't listening, especially your partner. Can your mum attend your next appointment to help advocate for you? I'd have a few pre-prepared phrases to use. "You're not listening" being one, and "please explain why you're not following NICE guidelines on maternal requests" or "what is the complaint process" being another...

@Summer022 Just wanted to offer my support. I had severe anxiety about giving birth when I was pregnant with my first and I really feel for you. Some non-professionals can lack understanding due to the fact that they can just see it almost as a formality - you get pregnant then you give birth. Plus, as I was told many times, "Women have been doing it since the beginning of time." But it doesn't change how you feel. You are the one having to do it! I just tried to accept that not everyone WOULD understand because we're all different. That's why different women make difference CHOICES and why they choices are available to us.

The midwife you are seeing is behaving in an outrageous manner. Your feelings about the birth will be part of the birth experience so you being as happy and reassured as possible is vital. Your midwife is not offering you that. They are making you feel dismissed, little and like you have no control over your body and your intended birth (at a time when you most need to feel like you have control and that your feelings are important!)

Midwives have a duty of care to monitor your mental health throughout pregnancy and to refer you for perinatal support if they think you need it. Your anxiety is part of that picture and your midwife has a duty to help manage it. (I'm not saying that you necessarily need mental health support, just emphasising that the midwife is not fulfilling her duty sufficiently).

I think you said the midwife is the only one you can see at your GP surgery. I would recommend that you submit a complaint to either the GP surgery or the trust that you are under. It's not just for you but for the other women that the midwife will see and potentially treat in the same way. Where you are concerned, she may at least be spoken to and should hopefully then adjust her behaviour accordingly for your final appointments. At the end of the day, you are a patient and you are entitled to be treated with respect and to have your choices listened to.

@OrionNebula Expecting Better is SO SO GOOD and so powerful as a tool for self advocating

@cruciverbalista thank you, that is really helpful to know. I think from a money saving point of view my boss might want me to start maternity leave early, but I am useful to have around atm (I think).

@doeandfawn i don’t think that’s permissible on the NHS. I would be putting in a complaint via PALS asap if you do still want a c-section and really pushing for one.

The NHS website is clear that if your doctor is unwilling to do a c-section they should refer you to one who is.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/caesarean-section/

P.s. totally agree with everyone about self advocating. it’s not easy but it’s sadly necessary so often in the current NHS systems.

for instance, I insisted yesterday that they take my iron levels again, despite them saying nothing would have changed in a week and a half and the labs might not take them etc. Today my results came back and my iron and ferritin are back at safe levels, so I am so glad I insisted as it means I don’t need an iron infusion. If I hadn’t pushed for the bloods then I would have had one unnecessarily.

@doeandfawn I was told at Nct that Nice guidelines say if you request a section they can't just decline it, and this link seems to support that. I'd be making your request and getting their response I writing, making sure they follow the proper procedure.

You have an absolutely valid reason for your choice and medical professionals should be supporting you

https://www.birthrights.org.uk/factsheets/right-to-a-c-section/

37+3 today and I’m soooo sleepy and hungry! I haven’t been like this at all during my entire pregnancy. Last night I slept reasonably well, dropped DD off at school this morning and ended up taking a 2 hour nap 🤦🏻‍♀️.

@Mamabear345 I’m 34 weeks and have crashed today! I think I’ve been so busy since kids went back to school trying to get things done and just need a rest. Baby is in an awkward position too which isn’t helping!

How are those who are breech/transverse getting on? I think I am currently transverse and having a c section anyway but it is still better for baby to be head down. Really hoping she turns

@Koalawhala breech baby here and booked in for the ECV procedure next Tuesday to try and turn her.

@OrionNebula I hope it goes well, how many weeks are you now and is this your first baby?

@Koalawhala 36 +4 and second baby. I have definitely had more discomfort in my bump than with my first, I am not sure if that is due to baby being breech. She seems very comfy bum down at the moment anyway! Are you going to try the ECV or not bother as you're having a section anyway? I was in two minds as I've heard it's quite painful but opted to give it a go.

@OrionNebula i haven’t had any discussions with the midwife yet as no one seemed worried that baby’s head wasn’t down yet. I have another appointment next week so will see what they say. If baby goes breech again I don’t think it’s so much of an issue as a c section is straightforward but there’s more risks (natural labour/cord prolapse) if baby is transverse

My friend whose due date was 12/10 had her baby this morning. It's starting to feel so real!

@cruciverbalista Wow! That definitely does make it feel real 😬

Baby is really low down right now, I’m 34+1 but it literally feels like he is going to fall out of me at any point 😆 I still have so much to sort out so hopefully no early appearances just yet!!

Just diagnosed with diabetes - 35+2!!
Borderline result of 7.9, cut off being 7.8!! So some changes for the next 2 weeks until they want him out!

@katherine123x don't worry, just tailor some foods. Small portions of carbs, really small portions. Fruit is also carb/sugar, berries are tolerated the best, no bananas, granny smiths apples are a good choice of apples. Let me know if you need any advice and join GD UK group on FB, you'll see so many similar stories that will honestly make you feel much better. You don't have long to go so it won't be too hard, just a bit to help your boy getting better start in life (you both will be tested for sugars after the birth). Did they give you a kit to monitor glucose at home?

@peonygirl no I need to collect it Monday!

Thank you so much for the tips 💕

@cruciverbalista that does make it feel very real!

Is anyone else just feeling completely exhausted? I've just bought my maternity leave forward a week, I was going to give myself a week pre arrival but now giving myself two weeks and hoping for no early arrivals as work is feeling relentless and just don't have the energy for it. Doesn't help that Sept is one of our busiest times!

I'm completely done in too @ForeverAndEvers

Keep saying I'll finish earlier than planned but have realised it's simply not possible. Times like this being self employed is rubbish, wish I could get signed off for the last few weeks or something!

I've been really emotional the last few days, lots of tears even though I'm so happy she's nearly here.

Hormones I guess, but it's unsettling and frustrating.

My hospital bag is all packed now which has helped a little as that's one thing ticked off if she arrives early! Fingers crossed she holds on until the c section date but who knows...!

Hope everyone else is holding up OK

@Koalawhala I'm transverse and trying everything to get him to move, just don't think it's going to happen. My bump is really round and I can see/ feel his head pushing/jutting out my left side, It can get quite painful. ECV on Friday but I hear transverse is trickier than breech to move!

@ForeverAndEvers yes!!! I’ve brought my leave forward a week too, I finish next Thursday and I’m booked in for a section on the 6th (due date is 9th) I’m having a section due to the size of him and I have polyhydramnios so I’m massive!

Ive felt super dizzy the last 3 days, like bad. Is anyone else feeling the same?

@katherine123x I’ve been tested twice during this pregnancy, last time was as 26 weeks both negative! How have you managed to get tested so late on? I want to get tested again as I’m adamant I may have it! What were you synptoms? X

@LWestYorks no symptoms ...
Had to have a scan as baby was measuring big and has too much fluid around him.
Had to have some tests and one of them was GTT. Came back with a. Result of 7.9 and cut off 7.8 so very borderline ...
Do you have a larger baby bump? You could say that you want to be tested?

@razzler991 I hope baby moves soon for you! Good luck with the ECV if you need it.

@LWestYorks I've felt dizzy this week, I tried to do a pilates class and had to stop every 5 mins as I felt light headed. Lots I want to do before baby comes but think I need more rest!