Hi I'm not sure if this is in the right section.
I broke up with my ex bf back in November and we had a short term relationship for 6 months. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant and informed him as it was the done thing.
He expressed he would want to be involved if I chose to proceed with the pregnancy, and I chose to proceed as I wanted the baby. I then shared him early scan and asked him if he'd shown his parents which he had.
We met briefly soon after to talk about the pregnancy and then after that I said I just wanted to get through the 12 weeks first before we met again. He said it would be good to meet up after the new year to talk about the baby and expressed he would like to attend one of the scans.
I told him we had a scan in January and it was exciting for us both. I was on holiday over the new year and I went to the scan early on the day I got back without informing him as I was worried. He then asked a week later about the scan and I told him I just attended alone.
Shortly after this he asked if I could prove to show him I would be supportive of his involvement. Otherwise, he would need to seek paternity as a formality and reassurances when the baby's born.
I said to him this was bonkers and that I didn't want him at any more scans if he wanted paternity as a "formality". I said baby with me 90 percent of the time depending on how I feel. He then text saying it appears that I have decided to exclude him from the pregnancy and he will respect my space till the baby's born and to take care. I said I had every right to do the pregnancy on my own and then cut all communication. 2 months later he messaged me ask if me and the baby were ok and I said yes thanks.
He then asked to arrange a call with him as he felt being completely cut off didn't seem healthy for the baby. During the call he expressed he wasn't that fussed about the whole paternity thing and he just felt I wasn't going to be supporting his involvement after I went to the scan I invited him to without telling him.
On the call he asked if we could talk about some rough arrangements for when the baby arrives, he expressed he wanted to be involved as much as reasonably possible, but I told him to fuck off and hung up the phone. He asked to be at least kept updated and I said il think about it.
I then sent him a message telling him no arrangements will be made and that he should just think about the baby's arrival to get excited. I also said that I wanted no court involvement whatsoever and his reply was "he just wanted the child to feel safe and secure knowing we will get on well together to make arrangements and offered any support should I change my mind."I told him no arrangements will be made and I don't need any support from him and cut contact again.
A week or so later I reached out to him as I was afraid he would go to court and said I was just upset about paternity and we had a call to make arrangements and talk. I said I wasn't going to put him on the birth certificate just to be a bxxxx but putting him on was the right thing to do. He then asked what sort of arrangements I found suitable and I really didn't know so he made a suggestion of every other day or so for a few hours so he can bond with the baby.
During the call I asked if he still wanted to be involved and he said well he wasn't sure what to do as I cut contact but he'd like to be involved but there were only 3 options, a disaster, walk away or no disaster now I called him.
I felt uncomfortable with this in the middle of the night when I was thinking of it as the only reason I called him was to avoid court. I said it didn't make me comfortable if he was just going to walk away. He said he didn't want to walk away but I was giving him that impression. I text him at 4am that the impression was right as I'd feel less stressed doing it on my own.
He didn't reply to me and I got worried and kept texting him that I was stressed. He finally said all is good and hoped me and the baby were ok.
I text him saying that I didn't want him to feel pressure, he said he wasn't pressured but it felt like I was pressuring him to walk away after he already stated he wants to be involved.
The next day I said to him names were in discussion and I started telling him the names, and said I'd use him grandmas name as in of the middle names he was happy with the names but said it didn't feel like I was actually involving him and just devising for him. I said I needed to have a full connection to the name as I wanted the baby and my body goes through all the changes.
He the said he was happy with whatever names I wanted to choose but regarding the surname, he'd like for the baby to have both our surnames so they feel an identity to the both of us and hoped we could agree.
I text him saying that made my blood boil, and that I kept the baby because I wanted her. I the said that from the beginning I was happy to do it on my own, and that everything he has said is not something I can forgive or forget. I then told him he should reconsider his involvement as no communication will be through me. I then blocked him on all platforms.
That was 3 months ago and I still have him blocked and not heard from him. I'm 8 months pregnant.
What are the thoughts of moms on here on my situation? I don't know if he will go to court or not but he said he wanted to be involved.