Baby at 44

[Lunarskybox]

I have two girls already - 5 and 1. I had my first at 38 and second at 42. Both straightforward pregnancies (albeit the second was conceived through one round of IVF) and I am very fit and healthy. I would love to have a third. I have have a good number of high quality fertilized embryos frozen and so this a third is a viable option for me if naturally fails to work. I don’t feel I am too old, but I imagine society does. I am curious about views - especially anyone out there who had a baby at 44 or above and how it went/is going (less about the pregnancy and more about your age and how it is raising a child as an older mum? Thanks

Good luck OP!

Thank you x

Goodluck with the new baby i am also a mum to teen boys and am nearly 37 we are considering another do you mind me asking how pregnancy has been at 38 and how long it took to concieve?

There are certainly alot of opinions and perspectives to be considered on this post which is great But everyone's story is so different no two will be the same. I also am a great believer that some women are much more maternal than other's and love kids and big families if you have the patience and finances then why not to an extent children keep us young. On the other hand i fully respect those who do not want more and are sure of the path they want to take and choose to give the love they have to the ones they already have. İ cant see it will make much difference as you already have a 1 year old so you will just be doing the younger year's double goodluck whatever you decide

@Hzky3 Hey I've just seen this so thought I'd reply similar situation, so I'm pregnant 22weeks now I'm 43 I'm due end of June and will turn 44 July . I also have 17 and 15 year old sons ... pregnancy has been absolutely fine apart from extra test here n there I have a growth scan booked at 34 weeks but up til now everything has turned out fine .. I feel absolutely great tbh .. I'm also having a girl which I'm absolutely thrilled about I never ever thought I'd have a daughter which just makes it all the more worth it ...It wasn't planned I was done just getting my freedom back with boys older but it happened and it did take a few weeks to get my head around but I'm so glad it did 😍

Thank you so much! That's amazing news. Good for you. Very exciting to be having a girl after two boys! I wish you lots of luck and happiness. Reading all of these replies has been so helpful and helped me to see that it's so much about how we are as individuals- and if we're positive and up for it (and financially able) then we should absolutely do it!

Thank you ☺️

Pregnancy was ok! There were a few minor complications but I have fertility issues and she is an IVF baby so it was to be expected. I have PCOS and ended up with gestational diabetes but I managed it fine.

She’s almost 3 months old now and a real crier 🤣 But I feel so complete and she was the best decision ever made.

I’ve just turned 39. Wish I was younger but I have fertility issues and just feel lucky to have got there in the end. I know lots of ladies having children in their lates 30’s.

That's very encouraging to hear as most people around me are very negative about having babies closer to 40. İ feel like it's also what we need and would complete us my youngest is 10 so we miss having a little one around so much. Congratulations on the new addition

Had my last at 45
Who gives a shite about what society thinks ?
I live and send my kids to school in a super middle class area where all mums at school gate are older so my knackered old self doesn't stand out

I wish I had the money for a third
If you do good for you go for it

Thanks for this. I wish I had worded my question differently as I actually don't care at all what anyone thinks! It was more whether I was biting off more than I can chew having a third at 45. So the age bit was key, not perception. My kid's school is similar, I wouldn't be one of the eldest. I think the other thing is, my my had me young (26) and she is young enough to enjoy her grandkids. I'd probably be very old if I got to see my third's at all. But you can't control everything I know. Thanks for your comment!

My great grandmother was popping kids out between her 20s and 47!

It's down to your individual preference I think. If you feel like you can handle it, go for it.

I'm 30, and pregnant with my 2nd. If I knew what I know now, I'd probably have started younger too!

God me too!!!!

Hi OP any update! I'm 43, 44 in April, I have an IVF consultation booked in for frozen embryo transfer. We have a 10 year old from our 1st and only round of IVF. Embryos are from that same round so hopefully of fairly good quality and age.

We had 2 natural pregnancies in 2022 (41) that both ended in TFMR. It's taken me 2 years to feel brave enough again but now I'm scared of the whole age factor. I've grieve for those two babies and wish we had gone back for our frozies whilst our DD was a lot younger. 1) because of the age gap and 2) our age and all the points pp's raise regarding ability to support our kids when we are older.

My parents are nearing 70 and amazingly supportive, we are so close. They are still fairly fit and healthy but unlikely to be able to help with another grandchild now. When I reach their age DD will be 36 and hopefully a 2nd child 25. At 25, I had met my husband and had my own home, Id like to think our children would be fairly independent by then too, but accept they are likely to stay at home longer these days and the more "difficult years" mentioned in previous posts, for a 2nd child could be around our early 60s. That thought does keep me up at night, hence this post at 1am!

I've realised when reading these replies, families are very different, some drift apart, move countries even, they prefer to live very independent lives, whilst others like my own are extremely close no matter what age. So for me I plan to be very much a big part of my children's lives. It's the norm for us. Older age will not mean I won't want to be there for them as much as my younger years. If anything I'll want them around more! My door will always be open, there will always be a bed for them, a plate at the table, mum's taxi and a cuddle to give no matter what my age or there's is 🥰

Wishing you luck in whatever decision you made and hoping my new chapter is just beginning x

I will send a longer reply later but the short answer is I am 3 weeks pregnant! So very early days…. You must be psychic! Longer answer later 😊 @Schoolrunmum81

AMAZING NEWS!! will keep an eye out for the full story !! Congratulations 🎉

@Schoolrunmum81 hi again, thank you for your message and sorry for rushed reply. It just struck me as exceptionally good timing to ask! First, I'm sorry for your losses, that was no doubt hugely distressing. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and was shocked at how hard i took (I don't know why I was shocked at this).

I felt the same as you with the frozen embryos. But also the recognition that the thing that makes me happiest is family and my children. I found all of the comments very useful - but actually more useful in just reminding me that we are all so different. And one person's view and experience can be dramatically different from my own and therefore not a reason for me to make my choice in one way or another. I think you have this realization too from what you say...

My parents are in their 70s and so similarly are not going to be doing much looking after the kids, but that's ok I think.

Essentially it's easy to find practical reasons not to, but for me I had to strip it right back to what do I always want to have around me - and it's family. And if there's love, laughter and happiness then that goes a long way to getting over cars not being ideal for 3 kids as many people seem to be concerned about!!

You sound like a really nice person and I'm sure that if you are successful it will be positive for you and your family. I wish you lots of luck. Keep me posted! x

Congratulations OP! So pleased for you 😊