MIL has told her friends I’m pregnant…I haven’t even told my Dad

[BananaOrangeApple]

So we decided to tell our mothers early, my Mum was visiting and the MIL was off on holiday two days after we found out. So we told them, since then I’ve found out she’s told her friend (someone I’ve only met briefly once) I also have a feeling she’s told a few more people. I’m mad I haven’t even told my Dad (we’re waiting for Father’s Day) and I’m only 8 weeks so haven’t even had our NHS scan. Both parents were told explicitly not to tell anyone.

How do I approach this? I feel like she’s disrespected our wishes and I don’t feel happy about strangers knowing i’m pregnant when the people who are closest to me don’t know! I don’t want something to happen like this again. What do I do?

I wouldn't make a fuss. Just remember in future that she can't be trusted with sensitive information.

I'd be pissed of internally but I'd not do anything in all likelihood.

Congratulations!

What evidence do you have that others were told?

Did they get in touch with congratulations? Texts/Facebook/phonecall?

Did MIL tell you herself that she told her friend?

Well, now MIL finds out everything dead last. Tell her any news about 30 seconds before posting on social media (if applicable).

You don’t need to do anything, your DH needs to approach his mother and tell her she was completely out of order.

My friend put my news on Facebook before I told my closest nearest and dearest. I cried when the closest called me to say congratulations as they had seen it. I’ll never get that special announcement back, and I’m still upset years later. I don’t speak with that fried now over something else, she was always mindless and full of her own importance.

Just call your Dad. Waiting for Father's Day is a bit daft.

Yes, for father's Day you can still get a mug 'Grandpa' or whatever you planned on doing.

MIL will ruin the surprise before we get to father's Day.

My parter told me she’s admitted it on a phone call, I hardly know the person so we’re not friends on social media.

If it got onto social media I’d be devastated.

God, I can't imagine in what world I'd think it appropriate to post someone else's pregnancy news on my social media, ever. WTF?

OP, as above from now on she learns everything dead last. I'd be tempted to post pictures of the baby on Facebook before I'd told her it had been born, but that's probably just the devil in me 😈

Why it’s this weekend? We’ve sorted out a nice way to tell our Dad’s as they don’t live close. My Dad won’t find out he doesn’t have social media and my mum has kept her mouth shut. It’s more the fact some randomer knows I’m pregnant when my friends/family don’t yet. It’s still very early too.

Make sure any names you are considering never reach her ears...
Now you know she can't be trusted she has shot herself in the foot hasn't she?

That's rubbish, OP. I'd be absolutely livid. Just don't tell her names/gender. She'll only spoil it.

I'd wait until Father's Day. Lovely surprise for him!

Now you know never to trust her again.

So you know who she is now.

DH should say, 'we are disappointed that you choose to share what we had asked you to keep to yourself.'

It's just Deirdre!

We asked you to keep it to yourself and you didn't. That can't be undone.

You don't need to have a sit down with her or anything, but this is what you are going to put in place. Anything you tell her, is anything you don't mind the whole world knowing.

In practical terms this means she gets told things last. If you have new baby photos for example, you only give them to her if you are happy for them to go on Facebook. You can do a video call with her. If she says she wants photos, you say you're waiting to tell others first.

I’d be livid but wouldn’t react right now.

She’s just moved herself to the “last to know” list for all future announcements.

And when it comes to photographs etc - be extremely explicit about what she can and can not share publicly especially on Facebook. Then go ballistic if she breaches that.

I have no idea who my parents or PIL told at any point. If they are randomers as you say then they aren't going to be interacting with you or other people you know. So what does it matter? No point getting het up about it.

I don’t get the issue. I never made a secret of my pregnancies, can’t see the point. 4MC and 2DC, I got fantastic support each time, bar one very thoughtless comment. Such is life

Oh for God's sake. I can't believe this is bothering you at all.

Well this post isn't about you is it? It's about the OP?

Well yeah, duh, but the point being, it doesn’t matter. What’s the point in worrying about this? Randoms she doesn’t know. Life is easier if you worry less.

Yeah don't tell her anything you don't want everyone to know straight away.
Names and due date come to mind
When I had dc2, I told everyone the due date was 2 weeks later because I got so sick of all the 'any news yet??' Messages and phone calls.

I dont know, it seems rather unfair to tell your mum and not your dad in the first place. To be honest that seems just as bad to me. She maybe shouldn't have mentioned it, but it is done now and not worth worrying about.

In your opinion 🙄

Well yes. Giving opinions is pretty much how chat forums work.