I'm pregnant again, HELP!!!!

[AdoraLovesCake]

Hi,

HELP!

It's me again. Yes, I gave birth only 7 months ago. So I have a baby daughter and a recently turned 4 year old.

I was feeling really ill this morning. Literally just took the cheapest pregnancy test that's about two years old from my cupboard. Didn't suspect a thing.

It was positive. Thought nothing of it, sure it was wrong. Then thought again as I threw up once more.

Because I have two young DDs I wanted to make sure that I din't have an illness I could pass on to my newborn.

Purchased 14 tests from boots, range of brands, wanting to keep some for later.

Used all of them. Every single one was positive. Every single one.

I know the night it must have happened. But I was on the pill. The 99% accurate pill.

Can't be more than 4 weeks in. It's only been an hour since that 15th positive test. Choosing my options carefully.

This isn't a good time in my life right now, my cousins are at bad places and my friend's suffering from depression.

But I would never want to turn down a chance to nurture another life.

I thought I'd have kid 3 but maybe in a year or two.

If you are going to ask about the father, don't. Sure, I'll tell him of course! But it's not that kind of relationship. My DDs haven't ever even met him. He's wonderful and all, just not a father or a husband. And we're good like that.

Please reply soon. Sitting on the bedroom floor. DD1 is at nursery for another hour, DD2 is sleeping, phew.

Life's exhausting. Can I do this? Should I do this?

xxx Cora

So he already has a 7 month old baby with you, he's not husband material and you're pregnant again? Wow. Fair play to you

I said first party. Like a christening

Also I don’t really understand why your cousins or friends come into it - because they’ll be your support system? If you’re letting other people’s problems stop you from having a wanted baby then my advice for that would be, don’t consider them in the equation.

@Scalottia need to calm down really as i was just expressing my own opinion & relating to the fact I am 7 months post-partum too and I'm pregnant again!.. but from what I have read, seems like a totally different situation she is in compared to my own which I didn't bother reading the whole thread before commenting so I disagree with your judgemental comment as I am not thick! Keyboard warrior! Have you got children may I ask?

I find it odd that your friend's depression and cousin's problems need to be considered here. It's irrelevant. There has never been a time in my life when every friend and relative of mine has been perfectly fine. What needs to be considered here are your existing children, your financial situation and how you'll cope with a third child.
I personally would keep the child but it will be tough.

Thank you :)

You say you know how pregnancy occurs - yet given a 4 year old, a 7 month old, and an embryo, you clearly don't know how to use contraception competently.

Your two existing children only have one parent, a semi-capable one at that. Why on earth would you add a third child to this dynamic?

Thank you. Some of you have been really kind. I know not everybody is going to say exactly what I want to hear, I just want people to say it nicely. And not to be mean to others and saying "What a stupid question!". I feel really upset that somebody felt they had to leave because they were feeling criticised.

I'm taking tonight as a spa night. Going to go sleep quickly, maybe watch a film with DD1. Her dad takes her every other Tuesday night, and that's tomorrow.

Wednesday, I'll call my best friend.

Thursday, I am going to chat with DD2's dad about everything. He's not married, end of. Not talking about it anymore.

And I have support from my cousins and friends, they are really close to me.

I thought more people would understand and be kind, but now I see that there are only a few respectful people on here.

Goodnight. And I know my life is messed up. This decision is so hard and would the people that say I should abort ACTUALLY ever abort themselves?

I need a break. Maybe a child isn't good right now. But I don't think I would have aother chance.

xxx Cora

Just what I was thinking…

I don't think you should base it on your cousins and friend either way.

All sounds very odd

@MeinKraft absolutely, I do agree that life in care is extremely difficult and damaging for many children and am under no illusions that it's the easy option. If a child has to go into care something has gone wrong and it's heartbreaking.

Where we disagree is that I believe is that once an unborn baby is in existence, it's not our right to be able to choose whether they live or die, and alternative options must be used. My line of work is in making the care system a better place.

As a side note I also believe in reserving sex for loving and committed marriages which would reduce the number of unwanted children conceived.

I hope with your beliefs that you chose to adopt some children @twizzlesx as you are so empathetic to those in care.

and when dd’s start to question why there’s no pics with daddy but a biological sibling? how are you going to explain that one? oh daddy was happy to be f* buddies but didn’t want to meet you, sorry poppet 🙄🙄 please think about your children’s feelings in this and what they will grow up to perceive as normal treatment from deadbeat men

it came as a shock for me too as I haven't been deliberately trying or preventing I suppose

It was really a shock that you are pregnant after having sex and not using any contraception?

Removing the father stuff out the way completely, you need to ask yourself the following questions:
Are you mentally ready for 3 DC, very close in age through all the different ages not just the immediate ones? The toddler years, pre teen, teen etc.
Can you physically manage 3? Transport etc.
Can you financially manage 3 long term? Through the pre teen years things start getting costly which may seem a long way off, but thinking ahead now will help you decide your options.
Can you house 3 comfortably? Would you need to move, do you have a flat where there's stairs as carrying 2 up is a lot more difficult than 1.
Your family etc. Aren't the deciders in this, only you know how much you can output in life and whether you can cope. We can all love a thousand children, but it doesn't mean we can manage a thousand.
Do you have a career dream? Things you'd like to do when DC are older, because tighter finances will potentially push this back or make it more tricky to achieve.

Of course people do this all the time, being a single mother isn't often the hell life people think it is (its not easy by any means either so I'm not saying either or is better)
But it doesn't mean your life is in the gutter either.

What do you want to do?

@scrantonelectriccity here we go another keyboard warrior! 🤣 have you ever heard of withdrawal method? And also only had sex once 4 days before I was ovulating and also my first pregnancy test said "not pregnant" for your information! now go away!

He's not suitable to meet his own daughter even though she's existed for seven months already, yet you're happy to have unprotected sex with him?
I think you need to rethink life and get your priorities sorted.

have you ever heard of withdrawal method?

Yes it's not an effective method of contraception, NHS don't recommend it and say it isn't reliable

And also only had sex once 4 days before I was ovulating

But you know fertilisation is possible up to 5 days after sex because that's how long sperm can live right?

I was taught all this at school, I'm surprised you didn't know this!

Op none of us can make this decision for you, you have quite a complicated set up but you seem happy with it, if you want to go ahead with this pregnancy then you will find a way to manage

@scrantonelectriccity I know how everything works and doesn't work thank-you! wasn't asking to be "taught" a lesson about it based on my life when I have only given an opinion to someone! Keyboard warriors that think their clever on somebody else's thread with nothing else better to do 🥱

'This decision is so hard and would the people that say I should abort ACTUALLY ever abort themselves?'

Yes. And I used to think I could never. But I would do anything for my children. Anything. Including aborting any future unwanted pregnancies. I think it would be difficult of course...you don't have an easy path ahead either way.

Plenty of people have abortions so, presumably, lots of those recommending one would also have one.

I wouldn't even bother replying to @MummyTo4BoysXXXX, some people can't be helped. Withdrawal method. What the actual fuck. Where are we going so wrong with sex education?

I think OP is choosing this kind of lifestyle as single mum of 2 ...soon to be 3 and multiple non present fathers. I just don't see the point of this post, if abortion is not on table then is it for others to feel sorry for you ? Because frankly I don't think anyone does and you just exposed yourself to negative comments from mothers who actually take responsibility for their life and life they bring to this world.