I'm pregnant again, HELP!!!!

[AdoraLovesCake]

Hi,

HELP!

It's me again. Yes, I gave birth only 7 months ago. So I have a baby daughter and a recently turned 4 year old.

I was feeling really ill this morning. Literally just took the cheapest pregnancy test that's about two years old from my cupboard. Didn't suspect a thing.

It was positive. Thought nothing of it, sure it was wrong. Then thought again as I threw up once more.

Because I have two young DDs I wanted to make sure that I din't have an illness I could pass on to my newborn.

Purchased 14 tests from boots, range of brands, wanting to keep some for later.

Used all of them. Every single one was positive. Every single one.

I know the night it must have happened. But I was on the pill. The 99% accurate pill.

Can't be more than 4 weeks in. It's only been an hour since that 15th positive test. Choosing my options carefully.

This isn't a good time in my life right now, my cousins are at bad places and my friend's suffering from depression.

But I would never want to turn down a chance to nurture another life.

I thought I'd have kid 3 but maybe in a year or two.

If you are going to ask about the father, don't. Sure, I'll tell him of course! But it's not that kind of relationship. My DDs haven't ever even met him. He's wonderful and all, just not a father or a husband. And we're good like that.

Please reply soon. Sitting on the bedroom floor. DD1 is at nursery for another hour, DD2 is sleeping, phew.

Life's exhausting. Can I do this? Should I do this?

xxx Cora

My cousins are very close to me as my mum, dad and brother distance themselves. It was a panic purchase, I admit. I have a stable income at the moment. My other friend is taking the kids on Thursday anyway, so I know I'd always have her.

Why are you concerned about your friend and cousins? What you need to prioritise is your existing children. Will another baby impact their life? The resources available to them, can your time, your money, your patience stretch that far?

The involvement or not of either father is a factor in people advising you. I don't know why you're being so cagey about it.

We're all confused as to how you can become pregnant by someone who hasn't met their seven month old child? Is he not allowed near your kids for some reason?

True. Everyone knows my situation that would have an interment bond with the child.

I would make my own decision before discussing it with a man who knows he has a child with me who they haven’t met and is just interested in sex. I wouldn’t give a shit what was happening with my cousins lives, just mine to make the decision.

@WetBandits No, I fully appreciate how complicated and difficult this whole situation is.

I am offering my view that, terminating a child's life is not a solution to mistakes made by adults.

There's no easy option here, but there is a definite wrong option.

She very clearly does

I think you should probably concentrate on your existing DC, not proceed with this pregnancy and look into the coil. More reliable than the pill.
Every child is not a 'gift', it's a biological event. We are not discussing a child, but a ball of cells with the potential to become a child.

Yes, bringing an unwanted child into the world is a clear wrong option.

OK!

For EVERYONE:

Yes, this situation is really really really really really weird and I know you might not get that but deal with it. He'll meet his daughter soon, we just have decided not just yet, alright?

That is irrelevant. Anyone can put their opinion on here so please. PLEASE!

thank you

It’s a forum. You don’t get to decide which opinions you get!

@MeinKraft Ah, sorry - I forgot people only have value if they're 'wanted' by their mother.

Oh dear. Do you want to be a single mum of 3? Are either of the dads providing financial support? Proceed as if it’s he’s not in the picture. You might not like the idea of an abortion, do you like the thought of doing it all on your own?

I’m not sure what advice you want. I can’t think of anything worse than trying to single parent a 3rd DC I hadn’t planned (as your use of contraception would imply) when I already have 2 DC, one of whom is still a tiny baby. I would 100% terminate in your situation and probably ditch the OH as well. But if termination isn’t an option and your relationship is staying put you don’t have much option really.

It's not about a persons value, it is about their quality of life. You have to consider if a child will be given what it needs to thrive and a loving caregiver is central to that.

You think I don't know that? I appreciate everybody's opinions, I am just super grumpy. And I don't want anyone disrespecting other people's opinions.

Your view. That’s it. Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and some stink more than others 🙂

It’s just you say he’s not disinterested but to not see your own child for 7 months (has he ever met her?) does indicate a lack of interest ?

@WetBandits isn't that the truth :)

@MeinKraft I know, and there are other options if birth parents cannot provide this for their children. Life is better then death.

So you are pregnant by the father of your youngest child and he has never met that one but you are willing to go ahead and have yet another that won't meet its father ?

I don't understand how you're being so flippant about the fatherhood situation when it's clearly a massive part of the decision. Parenting alone is not the same at all to parenting with someone else. Do you not feel resentment you've just done 7months of hard work alone? Why is this part of the dilemma so private to you?

I know you said you don’t think you could have an abortion, but could you cope with 3 children. Two very young ones. Can you afford it. Especially as a single mother

Not quite sure what the point of your thread is.

You want to dictate what anyone is allowed to adk/speculate on, don't want to have an abortion.. so...?

You're getting stroppy with anyone who questions you. Do what you wsnt honestly.. your circus, your monkeys.

What exactly are you looking for here?

Breathe, Cora, breathe.

1. I normally have @twizzlesx 's point of veiw.
2. DD1, DD2 and possible kid 3 will meet this man.
3. I love kids and this truly is a blessing but at the wrong time