November 2023 babies - thread 4

[AngeloMysterioso]

Here you go!

Hey everyone,
I‘ve seen a few of you feeling low and moody, I’m totally with you, random people annoy the hell out of me and I’ve got no patience. I feel sorry for my poor hubby who gets to deal with the most of it..
I’m also not working at the moment, I’ll be on maternity until at least Dec 24, as I can’t do my job when I’m pregnant. I miss my job and I think that brings me down too. I’m doing some volunteer work a few hours a week and I’m taking online courses which both gives me a sense of self worth if that makes sense. Still being in a grump though 😆

I’ve also got offered a job which I REALLY want but it means moving abroad and they don’t know I’m pregnant either.. Not sure I can say yes but I don’t want to turn down this opportunity. Arghh this stresses me out as well and makes me moody. I’m waiting for the contract and then my husband and I can discuss the way forward together, even if I don’t end up taking it I think it’ll be a relief once I’ve made a decision.

@Psqueak87 your commute and long hours must be very tough, especially when pregnant!! Would it be possible to do less hours if you get a doctors note?

@Sb86 so sorry to hear this, it must’ve been a very tough few weeks for you, sending hugs!

Hope everyone is feeling ok. Feel like I’m the only one that’s not felt moody/unhappy recently 😆
I’m wondering if anyone has a certain amount of clothes they will buy for baby? Like how many sleepsuits/vests etc
this is my 3rd baby so I feel like i should know but it’s been 6 years so I can’t remember much 😂 xx

@Sb86 What a few weeks you must of had. It must be such a relief to have settled on a decision. You and your partner sound like you have a really strong relationship too 💕 Do you know if baby will need much help medically when they are first born or is it a wait and see how things are as they grow older situation?

Sorry to hear you’ve had such difficult news to process  @Sb86 - that must have been such a shock for you both. Sounds like you’ve really pulled together while coming to terms with it. I hope you’ve felt supported and informed by the medical team around you too, even if they’re not able to answer every question you might like. Will this mean lots of extra scans and checks? Is this your first? (Sorry if you’ve said before!)

@Sb86 sorry to hear this, must have been a tough few weeks for you. Great that you and your partner are communicating well, that’s so important it situations like this, to keep talking. I know we are just a bunch of strangers on the internet but we are all here too if you ever need to have a chat, get things off your chest or just need a few words of reassurance. Take care 💕💕

Thankyou to those who have offered words of kindness and offers of a place to rant if need be...it's very much appreciated. Sometimes I think it's easier talking to complete strangers if I'm honest so thankyou.

@PinkPlantCase @reememberly we will have extra scans to check on baby's brain as with spina bifida that can become affected with a build up of fluid. At the moment it is at normal levels but obviously we are only just over half way so anything could happen. We will also have an MRI scan at 32 weeks to see more indepth to baby's brain and spine. Baby will have to be born at a hospital about 30 mins away from us as will need surgery within hours of it's birth. Its going to be a very different birth and after experience from the one I dreamt of but so long as our baby gets the best care that's all that matters. I've had tears over it as we will literally be able to hold baby for a few minutes after the birth before it's whisked away from us, so no skin to skin as it will need wrapping to protect its lesion and no putting baby to breast. So many things that I've cried over but I know it's for the beat just difficult coming to terms with it all. Baby will probably have bowel and bladder issues but they can be managed, we are hopeful they will be mobile as we already have a son in a wheelchair due to being born nearly 9 weeks early and having a bleed on the brain that led to cerebral palsy. But if it comes to it then we do what we have to do for our children don't we. Just would have been nice to have a straight forward delivery and everything after 🙃

Just trying to get as much info as we can so we can be as prepared as possible come November or whenever baby decides to make an appearance. No matter what baby is so loved already and will be given the best life possible ❤️

Hope everyone has had a great weekend, start of a new week tomorrow...I hope it's a good one for us all xx

@Sb86 sending all the strength and love your way. You are doing amazing, I don't think I'd have coped half as well. I'm glad to see they have a plan for scans etc, fingers crossed it all goes as well as can be.

We are all hear to lend an ear (eye?). My first maternity group have been a huge support (3 years on, still going strong!), I see this group going the same way.

@Sb86 what a wonderful mummy you are, i really am praying for the best for you and your family x

@Sb86 all the love & strength to you. As you say we would all do anything for our babies & that's all that matters ❤️

Really none important question and I'm just asking out if curiosity but i was just wondering how much weight you have all put on.

I'm 23 weeks and I've put on 1stone 6lbs. I know some of that is baby but I have deffinently put weight on, my legs are rubbing and my bum is massive.

I was 9stone at 9 weeks pregnant & I'm 20 weeks and I'm 9stone 2lbs now , I'm massive too and legs are rubbing too xxx

@Sb86 such a lot to get your heads around, so glad you are managing to hold on to the joy in amongst all the anxiety and the understandable disappointments now that delivery has to handled so carefully, as you say a very loved child already. I will be praying baby’s fluid levels stay in the normal range as your pregnancy progresses.

@doozledog I haven’t been on the scales for a couple of weeks but expecting it to be a little depressing when I do - 23wks today and feel so big already. Worried about getting absolutely massive but also eating Ben and Jerry’s on the regular, so not sure what I expect really. 😅 The old wives’ tale of craving sweet things with a girl has been true for me though and I’ve got zero self control.

I think I was about 59kg pre pregnancy, was around 60 at booking and now I’m 62 something. I’m quite tall though so was pretty close to underweight before. I stopped fitting in my normal clothes probably early May.

I think in my last pregnancy I got to around 75kg just before the birth. But weight gain was similar at this stage.

@Sb86 It sounds like you’ll learn so much from the MRI and like you and your DP are already so well equipped for taking care of a little who may have extra needs. Though I appreciate we all want an easy life!

Have you pushed back on the no skin to skin/time on the breast if it’s important to you? So so many things in hospitals are just done because that’s the protocol rather than there being really strong evidence base or reason for them to be done. This may not be the case in this instance but there is usually some wriggle room somewhere! Eg. If baby is stable enough to go through a normal vaginal birth then being on the breast seems pretty mundane after that!

I’ve read stories of people who have had so many little wins, like insisting resus is done with the chord still attached, delayed chord clamping or immediate skin to skin in a c-section, it wasn’t that long ago that any skin to skin in the theatre during a c-section was almost unheard of. The early skin to skin and feed is so important for both parties, hopefully as things get closer there might be some areas where there can be some wiggle room before baby goes down for Op. 🤞

What is our boy to girl ratio on here? 😊 There seems like there’s more little boys on this thread, and mostly boys I know locally too.

Once again thankyou for everyone's messages 🥰

@PinkPlantCase oh I know what you mean but unfortunately it's because of risk of infection to the lesion area. Baby will be have a gauze put over the lesion and then wrapped up before we can have cuddles. Then it will need to be taken to get checked over properly in preparation for theatre. It does make me really sad but I know it's for the best x

@GreenAventurine Baby boy here & at 23+4 - I’ve put about 8lbs on @doozledog

Sending love & thinking of you @Sb86 🤍

I would imagine in this case it is very important. As she said, the no skin to skin is because baby will need wrapping due to the lesion on its spine, probably to to prevent infection and further injury. I assume no putting to breast will be for similar reasons, and because babys head needs to tilt to latch on which may be a problem for the lesion on it's spine/neck.

Some issue's aren't an issue until baby is out and using its lungs for oxygen. Thats why we have so many congenital conditions that aren't an issue until baby is out. A vaginal birth may be advised against but fine, but the second baby takes its first breath its a race against time. A good example is structural heart abnormalities, until its born it doesn't need (or want) the blood going up to the lungs to be oxygenated due to placenta, but the second its taking its first breath its a race against time if the pathways to and from lungs aren't working properly.

It's great people have more options now, but unfortunately when babies are likely to be born quite poorly they're not always in the best interests of the baby, even if it is important to mum. Unfortunately, depending on the severity, in this case every minute OP delays baby going down for an operation could be another minute where either more fluid builds in babys brain and cause damage or a minute of holding baby where the membranes and spinal cord bulging out of the lesion could be damaged. Best chance of baby having as few deficits as possible could be very dependent on how quick baby gets the operation, and how little it's handled beforehand. As absolutely heartbreaking for the parents as that is. All we can do is send as much love and hope as possible.

@doozledog I have absolutely no idea how much I've put on. But I've noticed it in my upper arms and top of my thighs the most. I just feel broader which isn't pleasant. I will ask what I've gained at my scan Friday.
More annoyingly I have a B bump so avoiding tight stuff other than for my bump pics. I know it's a wonderful thing but it makes me so self conscious. It's hard though, so must be one of my internal organs sitting above my belly button 🙈🙈🙈.

@GreenAventurine baby girl here 🥰

@GreenAventurine baby boy here , just made it to 20 weeks today! So half way there which I'm excited about xx

@doozledog I feel huge too, I’m getting thigh chafing 😭. I was 9 stone 8 to start and now I’m 10 stone 8, so I’ve put on a stone. I also lost 8lb initially in the first trimester, so I’ve technically put on 1 stone 8 in the second trimester. I’m about 5’5” so average height, but it really shows. I’m not letting it get me down, I’ve always had weight paranoia, and for once I can actually blame the gain on something so I’m embracing it. I also am eating super healthy, just extra portions, and I’m allowing myself cake if I want it, whereas before I wouldn’t. I’ll just have to deal with the extra weight once baby is born.

@GreenAventurine im having a girl! Seems like everyone I know is having boys!

@doozledog and just to add, I’m 23+2

I don't know yet, but my 20 week scan is tomorrow morning so hopefully they will be able to see 🤞🤞 if they can't I already told OH that I'll be booking a private scan as I'm just too impatient. I feel like it's gonna be a boy though, as does my DD (13) but OH is convinced it's a girl. I put a vote up at work on our office whiteboard too and most seem to think girl, OH apparently has a pool going at his work but didn't tell me what the guesses were 🤣 DD is also asking all her mates to guess too. Evidently it's turning into quite an event 🤣

I actually weighed myself at work about a week and a half ago (as I'm leaving the dept I walk psst scales everyday and the curiosity got the better of me) was quite shocked to find I've only put on about half a stone so far. However I was around 11 stone to begin with and I'm only 5ft2 so definitely had plenty to lose before I got pregnant. All my weight currently seems to be belly and boobs too 🤣 was a size 14 at the start but seem to have lost a bit on my legs and bum as the size 14 maternity jeans and trousers I bought seem huge (sure I will grow into them though!) I am still being sick every other morning and have quite a lot of nausea and get full really quickly so in a way I suppose I'm quite lucky to not be piling weight on so far. I put on around 4 1/2 stone with my DD (much lighter when I started though!) So I am definitely wary of doing that again!