November 2023 babies - thread 4

[AngeloMysterioso]

Here you go!

@WhiteJasmin I really empathise!! For what it is worth what I’ve learned as a mum with no family support (despite having parents not that far away) is that it’s almost impossible to compare support with what others get - the support that some of my mums friends get literally makes me weep. Everyone’s situ seems so different . But then I know I’m lucky in other ways. It’s horrible being let down by family and totally reasonable and ok to feel upset! But for your own peace of mind, perhaps a professional arrangement might help to take the unknown out of any potential changes around such an important time for you, perhaps. Or a more reliable mate option? Also I find it is easier / better for my health not to confront the family member that’s let me down, as I never get the answer I want, just accept that families are complex - but that’s just what works for me. Perhaps your bro would be open to a more reflective conversation! x

@PinkPlantCase yes I have positive birthing book by Mili hill it’s great!

@CliniMama wow what your obs friend said about being over 35! I wonder if that’s because of mobility&fitness reducing. Can’t think of another reason but curious. At 40 I had a very positive vag birth, but then I am relatively fit maybe it makes a difference. When I get criticism from people for exercising during pregnancy (it’s amazing how many opinions being pregnant draws!? I always think, well I am preparing for birth 😂

@spanglesj thanks! Yeah it's my first pregnancy and on a personal level I give a lot of help to family members so I was a bit taken aback by this. So if they take my help for granted and not supporting me at a vulnerable time, should I bother with my efforts? Anyway guess pregnancy is a time for reflection!

@spanglesj I think it’s because she see a lot of natural births not going to plan, requiring foreceps delivery, suffering severe tears or resulting in emergency c-sections which is when she’s called in. This occurs more in those with a higher maternal age and/or with other risk factors but what she won’t be seeing is all the positive natural births like yours in those over 35 where an anaesthetist isn’t required! There are so many studies out there on this but like you said fitness is so important and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with exercising sensibly during pregnancy; seems like it’s working for you! My yoga instructor was still doing classes at 8 months pregnant!

I wish I’d trained for this!!!

@WhiteJasmin maybe pregnancy hormones? I think I’m pretty laid back in general, so personally this wouldn’t annoy me, but doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be.

he has given you quite a lot of notice to find someone new, and if he’s telling the truth about it being the only time he can take a holiday then I personally wouldn’t want my brother not to get a holiday to look after my dogs.

I hate depending on others, especially friends and family as it can just lead to arguments or begrudgement, so I’d always prefer to book my dogs into a kennel when the time comes, or book a pet sitter.

I know it’s annoying when you do so much for others and it isn’t reciprocated (I do the same), but I’m happier and my conscience is clear when I go out of my way to help others, it gets me down when I don’t get it back but I just have to tell myself I’m not doing it for the return favours.

Again, just because it wouldn’t annoy me, it’s not to say it shouldn’t annoy you ☺️ (if he did this in October I would be annoyed).

@Psqueak87 thanks for the perspectives. Yeah I held off saying anything in the moment. Sounds like pregnancy is a good time for some self reflection and what my priorities would be as well.

On another note ladies. I was recently asked the question if I would like to do cord blood storage. I need to find out a bit more about it at my next appointment to decide.

@spanglesj @CliniMama I wonder if there are more inductions in women over 35, I wouldn’t be surprised if they used maternal age as a reason to induce. I know that they can try and use IVF as a reason for induction before or at 40 weeks too, which I assume is also more common in that age group. That may explain why they saw more interventions for over 35s generally. Just thinking aloud! From what I’ve read it doesn’t seem like induction are really necessary where age/IVF are the only factors anyway.

@CliniMama I always wanted a home birth but was on the fence about whether my first would be, as it turned out it was covid and DH would have hardly been allowed into a hospital/birth centre! So that really helped to make up my mind to go for it at home. Luckily the home birth service in my area still ran.

@WhiteJasmin I don’t know much about cord blood storage but I assume it would mean that delayed cord clamping isn’t possible? Delayed cord clamping is when the chord is cut after all of the blood from it and the placenta has gone back into the baby, when the chord is white. So the baby gets all of their blood (more iron and stem cells). I’m sure I read somewhere what it increases their blood volume by 1/3!

@PinkPlantCase I'm not sure about the process but apparently you can store the child's cord blood for future uses if required. Say if the child or matching family member gets sick and needs cord blood/stem cell donation you can still have access to it rather than throwing it away. I also heard it's quite expensive so will have a think about if it's worth the investment.

Hi everyone, I have been lurking on here but couldn't find my login details, I'm also due in Nov.

I'm struggling alot with deep rooted nipple and breast pain, it's stabbing.pain 😓 Anyone able to advise or help please? https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4836447-deep-stabbing-pain-in-nipples-breasts

Off now for scan at 11am, up from 4am with nerves, If all goes ok today I need to really start being more positive and less saying 'if all goes ok' and 'if we have the baby' thats not helping, hope all ok today and I'm turning a new chapter. Anxiety is shite lol

@38andtrying Sending all the positive vibes your way for your scan, let us know how you get on ❤️ And yes, anxiety is shite!!!

@38andtrying good luck at your scan, you’ll most likely get good news and then you can relax a bit more. I definitely feel way more relaxed after my 20 week scan!

@38andtrying Good luck for your scan! Thinking of you today my love. Yes to feeling more settled and positive once all good news! ❤

Scan went great, yes!!!! I'm determined now to be more positive and putting this anxiety behind me now.

Thanks everyone for good wishes xx

@38andtrying Yay! So pleased for you!!! Now time to relax. It's my turn next Tuesday and I am getting myself into quite the state about it 😂

@38andtrying amazing news! You ARE having this baby!!!

@JoyApple so sorry you’re having that. Sounds awful. What has your midwife said?

Thanks @TMI2000 good luck for next week x @CliniMama i know i am going to have start believing it now lol I am so grateful and happy things are going so well

@CliniMama thanks for replying. Midwife just directed me back to GP. Got another appointment tomorrow. I'm tempted to just get over the counter thrush medication and just try it. At this point I'm desperate and will try anything.

@JoyApple I know stabbing nipple pain can be thrush so would be a good start to try some canestan, it can also be vasospasm - do you notice the nipple changes colour/goes white when you have the pain and it is random or does anything trigger it like change in temp etc?

@CliniMama thats interesting thanks. I also think they are more likely to want to induce older women praps.

Oh. Ha ha just saw your post on this @PinkPlantCase some good thoughts. They wanted to induce me for age and baby size. Though didn’t mention ivf. But maybe that was related to the size anyway.

@38andtrying ah lovely to hear. Did you see baby moving around in the scan and assume you just can’t feel the movements at the mo? enjoy the feeling of happy scan day :-)

Hey everyone, had my 20 week scan today and everything was grand! And for those who guessed the nub theory from my scan pic and said it was a girl… you were right! I had convinced myself it was a boy so was a lovely surprise when they said girl :) hope everyone else with big scans coming up aren’t too anxious and feel the relief once it’s done! Xx

@spanglesj yes baby moving around and all looking great, I'm feeling so happy and grateful today thank god x

So glad everything has gone well with everyones scans. Just over a week until mine and I'm so nervous!

How has everyone coped with the heat? Dizzyness has been horrible. At one point my DH took my blood pressure while I was lying down because I felt so awful and it was 86/54. Came back up to 104/77 and I felt better but if this 40 degree weather is coming it's really going to be hard.

If it helps put movements into perspective..

I have been feeling something everyday (not routine, just the odd wriggle or move) for a few weeks. During my 20 week scan the Sonographer said baby was moving away, that it was like a Live Action film. I couldn't feel any of that.
I'm only picking up the big kicks and somersaults.

There is a lot going on that can't be felt yet, so if you aren't feeling baby then they might still be having a massive party in there!

I was sick this morning 😱 I wasn’t actually sick at all in the first trimester this time, I just felt very sick but that ended months ago. So random for sickness to actually arrive at 19 weeks.

I normally eat like a horse so today could be fun.