November 2023 babies - thread 4

[AngeloMysterioso]

Here you go!

@MeganC104
I'm considering doing this too - did you
Have a chat with the consultant? I'm trying to do as much research as I can

Considering a vbac*

@38andtrying I completely feel you, I am struggling with this stage of pregnancy the most which is crazy because this has been when I should start relaxing! My 20 week scan is a week tomorrow and I just know it is going to feel like ages.
I haven't really felt any movement and anything I think I have felt I feel like I've just found something so my anxiety doesn't go through the roof. Hardly any symptoms to put me at ease either. We have told so many people, I am just terrified!
I am sure both babies are absolutely fine and I wish you all the luck <3

@38andtrying I completely understand your anxiety, although I have never had any losses, the way I felt before my 20 week scan was awful! I’m almost 22 weeks now & since my scan baby has started moving about & that comfort is so lovely! I hope your scan goes well - you too @TMI2000.

I know it is variable & each pregnancy is different, but how much weight have people gained? I’m 22 weeks & have only just started to put a bit on, I’m about 6lbs up now. I have a very obvious bump, people keep offering me their seat on the tube & I’m mortified so decline 😂 I’m sure I’ll appreciate it later down the line!

Also - what travel systems are people going for? I’ve only just started looking. But as we live central London, in an apartment we want a relatively small one, so think we are going for the Joolz Aer + with a car seat bundled in. There are so many out there it’s such a minefield!

@spanglesj the eye thing never came back thank god, it was a bit bruised for the rest of the day and that was it. I think im just so in denial that im pregnant and feel its inevitable they are going to tell me uh oh! i got myself into an awful state yesterday about it, trying to keep myself busy today and tomorrow ill tell the tale. Thanks everyone for good wishes i will update tomorrow

@spanglesj good luck for today !
@38andtrying just one more night to get through before the scan.. good luck for tomo!

Mines is Thursday.. trying not to over panic but as I haven't felt baby move yet (no 3) it's always in my head. The other 2 are keeping me busy tho!

@foodislife1 I've done so much research. Now I feel like I just need to have confidence. I've had a consultant chat. Everyone's being very supportive and thinks I have a good chance. My round ligament isn't helping my nerves because I'm getting pain in my hips and around my scar pretty much all the time. I'm hoping it eases off. I've started a hypnobirthing course which is really helping.

@MeganC104
That's great. I've got my consultant appointment this week so let's see what they say. I know there are risks associated either way but I think I just need to make a decision and go with it now

Birth is a tricky one as I had a bit of a traumatic birth with my first and initially opted for a c section this time but with my back problems actually don't want major surgery and a needle in my spine so may have to brave going natural again 🙈 2.5 weeks until my 20 week scan. Anterior placenta so that explains less movement being felt this time around

@PinkPlantCase thanks. Back now and feel like I’ve run a marathon 😂

@38andtrying crossing everything for you but probably don’t need! I know that feeling of anxiety and not quite being able to fully believe that things are going right this time. Try and take heart in the fact that while you can feel any movement you haven’t had any indicators to suggest things aren’t going well and baby is probably tucked safely away inside you. Hope the scan goes well tomorrow!

@spanglesj hope the cream does the trick!

@Mldn everytime I think I’ve settled on a suitable travel system I come across another one that changes my mind. Went to Paris and literally every single person had a yo-yo buggey but couldn’t tell if they were tourists or not. May get a yo-yo as a back up for holidays later on but despite living in London I really want something with big wheels for all-terrain. Think we’ll book an appointment at John Lewis and go try some out. I’ve also registered for the Baby Show where you can try things and buy for a discount. Think it’s in October though.

@MeganC104 who did you choose for your hypnobirthing course? I’ve gone from wanting an elective c-section (as I had a huge fear of childbirth) to now wanting a natural birth (if everything is progressing).

Hope everyone has a good week!

@CliniMama i also have a massive fear around birth and have been researching elective sections, what made you change your mind to wanting natural? I need tips haha! Got a hypnobirthing course booked for next month so hoping that helps me 🤞🏼

@DollyGx I spoke to a lot of friends with children delivered both via c-section and vaginally. All those that had c-sections and vaginal births felt that vaginal was better and would choose vaginal but to balance that, their c-sections weren’t elective.
If we want to have another baby, would have to wait a maximum of 12-18 months if I go the c-section route.
My friend recently had a c-section for her twins and wasn’t able to see them for 4 hours and wasn’t able to establish her breast milk which you have to do within the first 6 hours.
Conversely, I have a friend who is an anaesthetist on a obstetrics ward and last year she was saying she felt all women over 35 should have a c-section but I think that’s more because she only sees the horror stories. Even she’s changed her tune on getting pregnant.

I think I just feel like, if there’s no medical reason then if I can find a way to get my head around things (i.e. hypnobirthing) then I’ll give it a go. That said, it’s a decision that’s individual to everyone and often an elective c-section is the safest/best way. I currently don’t have any risk factors so guess I’ll just see how things progress. 😊

Who did you choose for your hypnobirthing course? I’m looking at The Positive Birthing Company.

@CliniMama so interesting thank you for your reply! I did hear that the recovery from an emergency c section was a bit tougher than elective. I do also want to have more kids in the future so I think it’s probably a good idea that I try for vaginal in the first instance, just need to try not let my anxiety get the better of me, I think it’s a bit of a control thing as well and the fear of the unknown!

I’m doing it with Positive Birth Scotland, it’s a one day in person course and also access to a fb group, the lady that runs it is a midwife and is very highly recommended so I’m going to give it my all and hope for the best, nothing to lose! Just looking at The Positive Birthing Company, that looks fab and really good value for money! Might do that one too need all the help I can get 😅

@CliniMama
I can agree with the emergency c section I had one 5 years ago and it was horrible , I couldn't do anything for 6 weeks , this time
Im opted for planned c section due to childcare and complications during this pregnancy . I have been given go ahead to have a natural birth but would rather do a planned c section xx

@CliniMama @Mldn So I have got quite a few buggies 😅 one Thule Glide that I love, it’s not suitable from birth though but it’s awesome for running and trail walks.
I also have a Bugaboo Cameleon 3 travelling system which is compatible with a maxi cosi car seat. It’s quite handy but I didn’t use it much as my son hated lying down in the buggy, I’ve still got it though so will reuse it.
Finally I’ve got a baby jogger city tour which I also love, it’s awesome to travel with as it goes as hand luggage and it’s very light. It’s perfect to bring in to shops and around towns too.
My friend has got a Baby Jogger summit and she uses it for trail walks and running, she loves it and says it’s as good as the Thule.

I had a planned C-section 14 years ago and I’m having one again this time round. I have terrible anxiety and I feel the calmness of it really helps.

Im nervous about my 20 week scan next week too. I guess it’s normal?! I had a private scan last Saturday so I feel I should be relaxed but nope!

@CliniMama avoid the yo-yo as it's overpriced and reviews show is a bit flimsy. I ended up getting the mountainbuggy nano which is so light and has been put through its paces quite a bit! It's at least half the price too.

Other travel system is an uppababy vista which I got on Facebook and I've since managed to source a rumble seat for it too which makes it into a double as our LO will be 20 months when this baby comes along

Hi thanks for the well wishes my 20 wk scan today went well. She pushed pretty hard and have some aches this eve which is annoying but all the important stuff went well. Baby was moving loads and couldn’t feel those movements during the scan with my anterior placenta I hope that helps some of you, we should start to feel them more soon. so normal to feel nervous before any scan isn’t it!

A positive vaginal birth story here for what it’s worth - loved mine. I didn’t get on with hypnobirthijg but will try again this time. Used a tens machine. Ended up asking for a spinal with the labour pain, but you get to push the button for dose and I stopped before the actual birth so I could feel it. I am hoping I will be able to have another vaginal.

First time round I read the book that the positive birth company do - Hypnobirthing: Practical Ways to Make Your Birth Better.

I need to make time to read it again!

I also read Milli Hills Give birth like a feminist and that was eye opening. Not really a ‘how to’ but it taught me a lot about my choices and the history/context behind a lot of medical care. Maybe don’t read that too close to the end though. I haven’t read it but I imagine her positive birth book is also very good.

I had a great vaginal birth at home in a birth pool 😊 can recommend!

What I found most helpful about hypnobirthing was being taught about what my body was doing at each stage, the understanding really helped me. Along with understanding what you can do to help you body with each stage that comes.

I also had a good experience with vaginal birth, ended up delivering without pain relief (gas and air made me sleepy!).
I didn't go full hypnobirth, but I did use some of the mindfulness techniques to see me though.

The thought of a c-section scares me more, it did first time around too.

These positive vaginal birth stories are really encouraging!! Would love to go for a VBAC and after hearing these, I feel like it's possible.
Especially as it was a planned c-sec so no time
To go into labour

@Mldn I lost 8lb in the first trimester, and I’ve since put that back on PLUS an extra 10lb, lol. My dr said he would expect a 1lb weight gain per week from 14 weeks onward. I’m at 21 weeks now, so over what he expected but he said that’s just a guideline and he wasn’t concerned if I was behind or infront of that. I’ve always watched calories and been quite strict with myself, so letting that go although terrifying is actually such a nice feeling, I’m eating way more than usual and enjoying it. Will worry about the aftermatj after the pregnancy is over.

@38andtrying best of luck for your scan tomorrow. If it makes you feel better I’m over 21 weeks now and still feel very little. 2 days ago I felt kicks in bed, but since I’ve felt absolutely nothing. Which makes me a bit anxious.

Loving the positive birth stories, thanks for sharing ladies! Feel like you only ever hear about bad births which I think has probably added to my anxiety over the years!

Hi ladies! How's everyone doing?

Just want to ask what is a reasonable expectation for support during pregnancy? I didn't ask for help much from family. However when my brother offered help, I asked him who lives around the corner if he could take care of my dog when I go into labour which he agreed. He recently told me he wanted now to book an overseas holiday near my due date because it's the only time in the year he could take it with his gf. I got upset he wants to plan a holiday around my due date after offering but just wondering if it's hormones. I feel pretty let down and not sure what to do. It's my first pregnancy.

@LeeanneD11 sorry you had a rough time but hopefully as an elective it will be a much better experience.

@Travellingislife that’s good to know about the baby jogger for travelling.
@Countingchicks I should add that if I got a yo-yo it would be second hand as just for travel but definite don’t want something flimsey so will bear that it mind.
Thanks ladies.

@PinkPlantCase natural home water birth sounds amazing. I even considered a home birth but I don’t have the confidence (for lack of a better word) for that. I am considering a water birth though. I’ve also heard the same from friends about knowing what your body is doing and I think that’s something I need. As someone else said, for me there’s a need for some sort of control and I think that would help me with the process rather than feeling like I’m just at the mercy of my healthcare providers.

@Thack I hadn’t even thought about the idea that c-section could be a scary thought so appreciate the alternative perspective.

Hi @WhiteJasmin ! I’m an only child and not expecting any help from my parents/the in-laws so I’m probably not the best to speak on your question but sorry you’re feeling let down.