November 2023 babies - thread 4

[AngeloMysterioso]

Here you go!

We’re having a nightmare with car seats, cos although me and DH both have decent sized cars, his being bigger than mine, but car seats take up so much space when you need 2. Luckily DD1 doesn’t need one anymore but she does need to be able to fit in the middle seat in between 2 car seats and DD2 has the Joie ispin which is like a tank in the back of the car and we don’t really want to have to buy a 7 seater …

Is anyone else feeling anxiety ? I haven't felt anything move yet, I'm a FTM so I know just shy of 19 weeks that's normal, but I am wondering how outside of scans you're supposed to know everything is OK? I have an anterior placenta too so that means I might not feel anything until even later, anyone feeling the same?

I'm in the same position too this is my 3rd baby and haven't felt anything yet and I've got anterior placenta too , I felt him 2 days ago with a little jab but nothing since I'm such a busy mum tho . Even when I lay down and concentrate I still don't feel nothing and I was told you may feel movements on the side more but I don't have midwife now till Friday xx

I feel huge! My skinny jeans no longer fit, only my mom jeans do. I’m 20 weeks and I’ve put on a stone already. But I’m eating so much, and after calorie counting for 15+ years it’s actually a joy not to count! I’ll deal with the aftermath when the babies out 😜 it’s my first baby but there’s a noticeable bump.

I was waiting for my boyfriend outside the ultrasound place last week and as he drove up he wound the window down and told me I looked “so pregnant” lol. Thanks I think?

Have only bought the odd onesie so far, don’t have any friends around for hand me downs as I’m 3000 miles from where I grew up. So will have to buy everything new or from marketplace, but I saved money not having to get the IVF I had planned and saved for, which was supposed to start a couple of weeks after we managed to get pregnant naturally (after 8 years trying on and off). So I’m not too worried on cost, more worried on the minefield of products and which ones I should buy. Why is there like 50+ pram options? Aren’t they all the same? Same with baby seats…

For anyone worried about lack of movement I don’t really feel much yet, there’s the odd flutter but not even sure if it’s baby. This is at 20 weeks. All scans have been fine though, and they’ve used the Doppler on me loads of times now and found the heartbeat no problems. So don’t worry if you feel nothing.

for anyone that’s had babies before, did your other halves take time off? I’m lucky here in Canada and work will pay me 100% of my wage for 4 months, then I get money from the government for another 8 months. The government money is about a fifth of my usual salary, but enough to get by.
my partner doesn’t get any perks like that, so was planning on a few days off then back to work. I’m not worried about needing help, but I worry about him missing out on so much, we plan on having a second, but it took so long to get pregnant this time and I’m 35, who knows if this’ll be the only one. I personally told him to take the hit and take 6 months off work unpaid. He will get the equivalent of the dole over in Canada whilst he does it…and we have really cheap rent so it isn’t an issue for us financially. We will have to make small changes to lifestyle, but it’s not as if we can go out to restaurants and out drinking with a new born anyways! So that’ll save a fortune. What do you think?

20 weeks, first baby, bump.
was so happy I could squeeze into my dress for a meal I had planned for my brothers birthday. But probably only a couple of weeks left of getting into it.

…

@38andtrying in the similar boat as you! FTM and was worrying at not feeling movement as I have posterior placenta, just today started recognisIng what I this is movement ❤️ so hard isn’t it!

hi everyone. I didn’t feel my first baby till around 23 weeks, and was told that was perfectly fine. Tbh, he wasn’t overly wriggly throughout the whole pregnancy.
I have a bump, not big, but id defo say I look pregnant now. I feel a little…. Relaxed too. I don’t know how to describe it but towards the evening everything feels, sloppier around the midsection. Morning time there’s a cute hard little bump 🤷🏻‍♀️.

We went for a gender scan this morning and found out we are having a girl 💕💕💕💕

@Psqueak87 if you can get by I would definitely recommend your husband taking time off! 6 months would be great. I had our son in lockdown and my husband wasn’t going to work for probably 7-8 months and they got and still have a great bond, you notice a big difference between how comfortable they both are with each other compared to many of his friends dads who were working away during lockdown.
Now my husband will only get 2 weeks paid paternity, it’s ridiculous in the UK! Dads should get at least 3-6 months paid paternity. Scandinavia does get it right!
We haven’t decided if he should take more time off or not, I work away a lot and I honestly don’t think I could have if he hadn’t been off so much during lockdown, both him and my son would not have coped well or coped at all. I see so many dads who wouldn’t have the kids on their own and I bet it’s because they haven’t spent much time with them from when they were babies.

@Psqueak87 oh and what a lovely baby bump 😊

@GreenAventurine congratulations on your baby girl!
I feel exactly the same, in the mornings there is a hard bump but it gets “sloppier“ haha throughout the day. I’m 20 weeks but when I’ve got clothes on and if you don’t know me you wouldn’t know, I just look a bit thicker. I think I got a pronounced bump around week 28 with my son.

Yeah Canada is awful too! His work don’t have to give him anything, which they won’t. I’m lucky my work choose to give me 4 months top up to my salary, they don’t have to do that at all. I’m gonna try and convince him to take some time, we can always make the lost wages back another time!

@Psqueak87 last time my DH had 2 weeks off then worked very flexibly from home. He was doing a PHD at the time so didn’t really answer to anyone. I had 6 months off work and DH was between jobs when I went back so he covered the phased start into nursery. He enjoyed that time but I only really went back that early because his contract had finished and one of us needed to be at work 😂 It was a bit of a mission pumping 3 times a day at work.

This time round I’m due on the 20th and DH is going to be off work until the new year, with a mix of paternity leave and annual leave, he might work from home for a couple of days before Christmas depending on when the baby actually comes. I think this will work well, it’ll see us through the time when we’re in a bit of a daze!

We considered shared parental leave this time around but it’ll just be too much of a financial hit for us, we want to keep DS in nursery and that’s over £1000 a month. We’ll probably drop some of his afternoons so it’ll be a bit less but still a huge cost and I only get 90% of my usual pay for 6 weeks and then just statutory. We have money saved to cover bills and nursery fees but it doesn’t work if we loose both incomes.

It depends if you plan to breastfeed but for the first 4 months at least babies are pretty boob dependent atleast mine was! Baby would spend most of the day feeding and sleeping on me. DH was involved and would do lots of nappy changes but in that time baby really needed me. To start with the baby doesn’t understand that they are a separate person to you! I don’t think this impacted how DH is as a dad, we are very 50/50 now with our 2yo.

The people I know who’s husbands took 6 months off work, the woman did the first months and the man did the 2nd once baby was interacting a bit more with the world so age 6m -1 year.

Sorry for the epic post 😂 I hope that’s useful! I haven’t actually decided how long I’m having off work this time. I need to crunch some numbers and see what works.

@PinkPlantCase thanks so much for the detailed post! I really appreciate it!
wish my BF could work from home but he’s a landscaper in summer and snow remover in winter! So no luck there, but I’m still working on him quitting his winter job this year!

Still unsure how long I’ll take off, I only ever planned for 6 months, but the ladies at work have advised me to take longer. I earn more so we were thinking he’d eventually be a stay at home dad from 9/12 months onwards, but i still don’t want him to miss out on the newborn bits. So ideally I just want him to quit his job for the foreseeable future so I can go back to work sooner, lol.

I work in Ireland and we get statutory 6 months off, can take up to 12 but get no money, my company doesn't gibe any maternity pay so I just get government which is €262 per week for 6 months. I can't afford to take any longer although id love to.

That's of course if baby is OK, no complications and I can go back to work, I am taking nothing for granted

I don’t think there’s really a right or wrong for how much time you have off.

I found it hard that most of the other mums I knew had a whole year off so me having 6 months off and going back full time was a bit out of the ordinary in our circle. Nursery was much more geared up for children over 1 as they didn’t often have children under that age.

Still, I enjoy my job and I trained for a long time to be able to do it! So I was happy to get back into it all. DS has always enjoyed nursery too which helps!

I wonder if in Ireland it’s more common to do 6 months if that’s how the mat pay is set up.

Yes most people do 6 months unless of course their company pays more, mine doesn't which is shit!! And makes me fairly angry.

I can get 7 weeks parental leave which is paid at same rate as maternity to take in first 2 years after baby is born, I might add that on in a lump at the end to pad the leave out and then of course I should have a good few weeks annual leave to take as well, so I'm hoping all in all I'll get 9 months off.

I’ve been looking at prams and this is the only one that I like so far. But what colour is it? 🤔 Black or green? https://www.mamasandpapas.com/products/ocarro-x-laura-ashley-calcot-ess-kit-59891la00

I found a photo earlier of me at 8 months pregnant with dc1, I am that size now - confirmed by the fact I am wearing the shorts I bought weeks before they were born. Eeek!

@gree looks like a muted olive green to me! It’s gorge.

Oops sorry @GreenAventurine the tag didn’t work in the message above lol

@GreenAventurine this is the travel system I’ve gone for with the cybex car seat and everything included, if you go on the mamas and papas website they have loads of different colours you can look at all the different ones, there’s about 20 no joke 🤣 I’ve gone for the heritage.
even better if you go in store and look as they all look different in person x

@GreenAventurine does the seat parent face? It isn’t essential but if I was spending that much I’d want it to 😂

What price range and prams and car seats? I haven't a clue

@PinkPlantCase yes it does.

@38andtrying all different price range, you could spend anywhere between £500-£2000 depending what you get or cheaper if second hand.
mine was £1550 for travel system and car seat/isofix base. X