"Was it planned"....

[Mogonthemoon]

I know this question will come up at some point, and I don't want to have to answer it, its really no one's business if my pregnancy was planned or not....

Any idea of a good reply I can use which isn't rude/snarky but firmly deflects the question?

Well all my best suggestions are rude ones 😁 but I suppose you could ask "why do you want to know?"

That's my lowest level of snark.

You can just say 'that's a pretty personal question' politely and calmly and then move on.

I used to use "no I tripped and fell into an IVF clinic" but I'm guessing that's not your bag

"And that's relevant to you because?....."

"No, we were hoping for a baby otter and are suing the clinic".

I can only think snarky:

'No, I still haven't found out how it happened!'

'That's a very personal question' usually suffices.

“Yes”

Thanks for the suggestions 😄

@greenspaces4peace that's more information than I want to share with the nosy women at work, I don't see why they should know either way

Love this!

My favourite response in these scenarios is to look surprised, smile and say 'how strange!' then follow on with 'how was your weekend?' Or something equally inane.

I was bent down tending to my carrots /parsnips /beetroot <delete as applicable >and dh fell on top of me. This naked gardening lark certainly has it's benefits Margaret
.

Do people get asked this a lot? Or are there circumstances where you might not have planned to have a baby? I was never asked this, and I have never asked anyone this, so I don't know why people would. I'm sorry if I'm missing something obvious.

Smile sweetly and ask if that's a question they usually ask every pregnant female they see? Were they asked that question back in their day?

Or "how is that possibly relevant to know?

Or my favourite- I don't see how that is anyone's business, especially yours.

Congratulations op

I got asked this a lot with my third. I used to just tell them it was an immaculate conception.

It's an extremely personal question, on the same level as asking people if/ when they are planning to have children. It's just not a question you really ask unless you are close.

I would see work colleagues asking this as rude and invasive, so I wouldn't mind giving a blunt response. I would simply tell them that is personal and change the topic of conversation.

I'd say something like 'why are you asking?' Then I'd double down and ask why are they interested and ask them what difference it would make. Then I'd not answer.

Basically I'd make them regret asking.

It might not get asked? Do you have particularly nosy friends? 😳

I love this!

I don't see the problem. I personally would just answer. I'm very open, may be too open and can't be bothered to be offended over something so trivial.

I've happily answered when I've been asked, usual phrases are yes, it's an unexpected miracle, definitely an ooopsie daisy baby, knew I was forgetting to do something first... or don't tell the husband, he thinks this was the plan...

Ppl by nature are curious beings. I dont think most ppl mean anything malicious by asking. And, if they feel they can ask you that, it usually means you already have a decent relationship with them.

I have been asked this by so many people and find it bizarre! I’m always honest about it but thinks its odd!

I've been asked this a lot with all 3 pregnancies definitely more so in my current.
I was shocked in my 1st pregnancy 7 yrs ago when a male colleague (20yrs my senior) asked me this. Since then I've not been surprised.. people are very nosey!

This time was unplanned & I've been changing my answer depending on who asks!

“Was your rudeness planned?”

"What an odd thing to ask..." move on.

My standard response was, "Are there any further questions you'd like to ask about my sex life?"

Bit snarky though ...