ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@thislittlebird the only first trimester symptom I had was burping, breast soreness would come and go. It's a really tough time, aside from regular scans there's nothing else you can do to know how things are going, later on I have the benefit of a doppler so I can listen in, this is why I was having weekly scans, people said it would make me anxious, but it actually made me much less anxious.
I have just enough room for a baby here, I can't really afford to move right now. It's this whole kick on the teeth for infertility, I've spent so much money that I'm not in a big home like I would have wanted to be. My friend moved when pregnant but her husband is a developer and sorted the place out so it was ready to be moved into.

@seven201 I asked chatgdp what it thought and it thought my workplace was being reasonable in letting me take some of the days across, I do feel a bit annoyed though that I've essentially lost 1/4 of the holiday year. Are you still working? If so when are you going to stop? Sleep wise I have this bump pillow at night www.babybub.com/products/pillow and have pillows above and below, then I have one of the big pregnancy pillows on my sofa, I use the bump one at night because it's easier for me to turn. It's stressful as people say left side is best but I can't always lie on my left side and I think the difference between sides must be pretty minimal. I always seem to wake up lying on my back anyway!

@seven201 probably more that I'm in a somewhat specific role with a lot of experience, and it's so frustrating because I wanted to move before now but IVF held me back. So my career has stagnated for years now and at the point they're getting in touch I can't really move on. I'm going to see what this second role is before I turn an application/interview down, just to be nosey, all they told me was it was senior.

At least the airbed is comfy! 3 weeks will fly by! yeah, I won't be telling anyone I'm pregnant if a move is on the cards. I'll get full pay until September 2024, but I assume it'll say 'mat pay' on my payslip so need to consider if we'd move before that. We should have done an extension here really, but it feels too late now. I think our issue is our finances have been so drained by IVF that we now need to spend months trying to save up again, but if we want to re-do our bathroom before we move or have a baby then we might need to borrow more.

@Gardenlady543 yeah, it's hard because it feels like nothing is happening other than the occasional twinge and full boobs. I'm sort of hoping I develop a week 7 symptom. Do you have enough bedrooms at the moment? We have 3 bedrooms but it's an Edwardian terrace and it's not huge, so there's a small room for a nursery but basically the bigger guest/spare room is going to end up being a garage, we have no room for all the stuff we have as it is. All these years without kids meant we turned the rooms into other things, plus infertility draining the coffers. That said, we have more money now than we will have for a couple of years really, so it does make me wonder if we should try to move while on mat leave. I just know how stressful I'll find a move + baby.

@Gardenlady543 sorry to hear that you don't think there's any way to go with the annual leave situation. I really wouldn't worry about sleeping on your left side, just whichever is easiest. I'm working until the 19th, so nearly 2 weeks left. I'd go sooner but I get paid for half term if I make it that far. School staff don't get annual leave to carry over, so I'm trying to get every little bit. C-section booked for last day of the half term, and I did consider trying to move it to the week after for one extra day of pay, then I realised I'd probably just want the baby out by then and that's worth one day

@thislittlebird nothing wrong with finding out more about the job. We're in a 3 bed semi, and only making the downstairs bigger. Probably would have been more sensible to move! So hard to decide these things.

@seven201 i’m doing alright, I’ll tend to have a day a week where I have heartburn, sickness and constipation - hoping I’ll get some better advice next week at my midwife appointment on medication to help - apart from this I’ve been pretty good and staying active. Any update on DHs covid? Glad you’ve started getting some newborn bits in - I know you need to get a few more things sorted before your fully ready but you must be so excited!

@Janefx40 On Friday, fingers crossed all will be ok, can’t believe it’s been 8 weeks since my last one! Glad Leo is doing well! Have the midwife’s said why he might be struggling to put on weight? How is his sleep doing now? Hope you’re getting some decent nights sleep now.

@Gardenlady543 any updates on the work situ? Very sad they don’t have better policies to support parents

@thislittlebird it definitely sounds like you should explore the new roles, I hate how much fertility issues seem to impact so many areas of our lives, feels v unfair at times

@AM08 I'm on omeprazole, initially was given it to go with the steroids but have just kept taking it for acid reflux. Maybe ask the midwife about that, although it might be a GP who has to prescribe. With DD I used to swig the gaviscon but was eventually given omeprazole and it was so much better. Good luck for Friday!

I am having a freak out. Had a scan and consultant appt today and he was just quite serious and said he thinks my c-section needs to be brought forward due to past uterine surgeries. I was booked in for 27th but he's moved me to 24th - 2 weeks today when I'll be 37+5. I was a bit too surprised to think straight while in there but I think he may think I had my c-section niche completely re-sewn, whereas actually Mr Lower just shaved off the sharp/bumpy edges to help fluid drain out more easily (and removed a cyst and adhesions from inside uterus). But I have had a few surgeries on my uterus (laparoscopy and also another adhesion removal), so maybe it's just for the best anyway. He said he didn't want me to be contracting essentially. 2 weeks ago he was saying how a VBAC is still an option and was sort of trying to sell it to me! Just sounds so early to be pre the 38 week mark and higher risk of needing to SCBU. During the scan the sonographer said the head was really low down (hard to scan) so maybe that means she's engaged and getting ready, so possibly part of the reason they're bringing it forward. Also, I think I'll lose the half term pay I've been hoping for! Aghh. I haven't really known what to do with myself today!

@thislittlebird I have three bedrooms but the term bedroom is being used very loosely since each one is a similar very small size and can fit a king bed against the wall, but very little else. I sleep in one room and DH in the other given his back, my pregnancy etc and that won't be changing. The third room was a dressing room and will become the baby room probably with one rail of clothes. Any update on symptoms?

@seven201 that sounds like a lot of information to handle during the appointment, how are you feeling?, everyone is telling me I will likely have a c section 5 days before my EDD nobody has mentioned anything about it being any earlier, bet it a bit of a shock to hear this.

@AM08 no updates from work, think it's a lost cause me even pursuing. I had a rant about it at my pregnancy yoga class yesterday and everyone agreed my company is stingy. How are you doing? The midwife probably won't advise you about meds they will say to see your GP. I'm on omeprazole and promethazine. Gaviscon didn't work for me but is worth trying.

Yeah, I was told all along if I have a c-section was between 38-39 weeks, so this came as a surprise, although it is only a few days difference which I need to sink in. I've been really overly stressing about it this evening, which I think has made my blood sugars shoot up and therefore even more stressed. I think I'm probably getting it out of my system as I'm not usually like this. I'm now having a lie down watching married at first sight which I think is doing me some good! If I wasn't living in a building site I think I'd be alright about it but we are so very unready. Going to be a busy weekend.

@seven201 oh gosh yes the building work, I am sure it will all be really nice and worth it when it's done. I remember living in my home when I was renovating it and it was a nightmare and this was when I was care free and not pregnant! I agree with binge watching reality tv!

Thanks. I'm feeling slightly calmer today and will finally be off the blow up kitchen bed and back in my normal bed tonight, so I'm happy about that.

How's everyone doing?

Oh nice @seven201 does that mean your partner is testing negative now?

After losing the will to fight the annoying leave issue I mentioned it in passing to a senior manager today who got really angry about it, a few senior people are leaving the business in the next few weeks and this hr rule means I'll be forced out at the same time which has really annoyed them from an operational perspective! Not sure if them trying to deal with it will achieve much but I guess it makes my life easier since I don't need to deal with it.

It's Amazon prime day so I've been ordering some bits, I've been getting quite a lot of stuff from Facebook marketplace but think there are some things that need to be new like bottles, so taking advantage of the deals.

@seven201 glad your feeling better, it sounds like a stressful conversation to have. I imaging with isolating from covid and the renovation it must have been shock but good they’re keeping an eye on you and it’s only being bought forward a few days.

@Gardenlady543 good to have people
advocating for you and fingers crossed it makes a positive change.

@Gardenlady543 yes, dh is negative and I had also just reached my limit with sleeping in the temp kitchen. Thanks @AM08

@Gardenlady543 I bought a video baby monitor in the Amazon sale day. I'm glad you've told someone higher up, you never know, they might be able to get hr to budge a bit.

@Janefx40 @seven201 @Gardenlady543

I’ve been well thank you. Work has been taking up so much of my time atm as it’s a busy period. I’m fortunate to work from home, though poor posture has led to neck and shoulder discomfort. When did you all tell your bosses? I’m contemplating letting them know after my 16 week appt this week.

I did a medichecks progesterone, estrogen and prolactin test last week and a few weeks ago just before I reduced to 1 Cyclogest a day (from 2) and 2 Progynovas (from 4). Their results don’t make sense to me. Both tests showed oestradiol > 11,010 and progesterone > 191. Prolactin has gone up though. @Gardenlady543 does that sound right to you? Wondering if I should contact medichecks. I’m now not sure if I should carry on with the leftover medication I have.

@thislittlebird I’m thinking the canaries at the start of next month but haven’t got round to booking anything yet. I initially planned long haul and then decided I didn’t feel comfortable doing that.

@seven201 I bought a sausage shaped pregnancy pillow recently and have the same issues you’ve had! When I’ve adjusted it, it’s really comfortable but when I roll off it or need to move, it’s such an effort.
I’m sorry the about the stress of your c section being brought forward. Did you finish up at work last week?

@Gardenlady543 Glad you got a few bits on prime day. When did you start buying baby stuff?

@Spin101 that's a good progesterone level, mine was 98 after I weaned off and I compared to this chart (you need to convert the units from nmol/L) naprotechnology.com/progesterone/ I was in zone 2 so I've take progesterone but that ends at 28 weeks on Friday. Prolactin will be raised in pregnancy. I started buying things at 17 weeks, started with very good second hand deals like a clothes bundle. Now trying to get everything prepared as my friend waited until the last minute and then her baby came two weeks early.

@Spin101 I told my bosses at around 15 weeks, purely because they were planning the timetable for next year, otherwise I'd have liked to wait longer. I waited until after I had my NIPT results through. Sorry, I know nothing about blood test levels. Canaries sounds amazing! Glad I'm not the only one who has a love hate relationship with the giant sausage pillow! No, not finished work yet. Got my last day on Thursday, but I don't work on Mondays so went for a haircut today. Was planning on doing some hospital bag packing but instead have done building admin all day. Also trying to collect colostrum (because of the diabetes) and after 4 days I have a grand total of 0.15ml in the freezer . Hoping it increases over the next week so I have some to take in with me.

@seven201 oh I saw a video on collecting colostrum and thought it looked complicated so well done for getting any. I'm 27 weeks and no sign of anything coming out of the breasts yet, is this normal?

I didn't have anything come out naturally last time, only through a big effort to collect colostrum. Definitely wouldn't worry about that.

@Gardenlady543 thank you! I’ve weaned off completely now and ordered another test. I’d like to be organised but nervous about buying anything soon. Black Friday sales will be too tempting too though.

@seven201 aww how lovely to get a haircut! I’ve completely forgotten about pampering myself. I hope you’re able to get your hospital bag packed and more colostrum on your next attempt! Is it painful??

Any suggestions on bad ingredient free stretch mark creams/oils? I’ve read mixed reviews on bio-oil and my yuka app doesn’t recognise all products I search for so probably wil spend more time searching at this rate than using the product!

@seven201 ah that's good news then. Will keep an eye for anything coming out and look into colostrum extraction in the future.

@Spin101 I got this one

Burt's Bees Hydrating Body Oil for Pregrancy Stretch Marks, with Vitamin E, Sweet Almond Oil & Lemon Oil, 118.2 ml (Pack of 1) amzn.eu/d/7Abo76w

but not sure any of them do anything, in the first few weeks of pregnancy my breasts ballooned in size and I have the most awful stretch marks. Already been in touch with companies about cosmetic treatment, stretch marks need to be treated early while they are still red but you can't have treatment during pregnancy or breast feeding.

I have been getting most stuff second hand, especially things like a next to the bed bassinet, I've heard you use them for 6 months and they can cost a fortune so there is no point in buying new. There are certain things I've bought new, I got a baby cam as well as it was on sale, I got bottles new, breast creams and nipple pads. Also got a nice baby blanket and muslin squares. Amazon have a deal if you add things to a baby wish list you can get some free things I got a nappy bin and changing mat from there.

So I turned all the new role interviews down. Sad, but I think it makes sense when I'm very much still in the anxiety zone and looking at our finances I think we'll need my 20 weeks of full pay where I am.

@seven201 that sounds stressful, sorry they sprung that on you. How are you feeling about it now? I guess at least they're doing what they think is best for you.

@Spin101 Yeah, I get the worry over long haul. What I'd like to do vs what I'm prepared to do are quite different. I'll have to play it by ear, but I do wish our potential trip was this side of Christmas, we've got the worst holiday timing lol. If all goes well I'll be happy with a May baby, I'm one myself and it was always a good time of year for a birthday, but I'm less thrilled with my holiday destination options. January/February is the worst time, and the Canaries are a bit iffy. Although we may end up there and hope it's 20 degrees. Otherwise, I guess we'll just have to give up on the delayed honeymoon/babymoon plan and do a nice trip once we have a baby, but it sounds more stressful.

@Gardenlady543 when did you start getting stretchmarks? I've never had them but I noticed today my boobs are quite mottled in colour and veiny. Hopefully that's a good sign because there's really not many symptoms over here, except a pulsating sensation that started in my lower left uterus area today.

I have my booking in appointment tomorrow and 9.5 week scan next week.

@thislittlebird oh the booking appointment is a big step!! Exciting times. So around 8 weeks I had what I would consider as vascular markings and I wasn't sure what was going on, this is what they looked like:

@thislittlebird and then over time they developed into very obvious stretch marks like this:
I think the biggest thing I did wrong was not wear a bra when my breasts ballooned in size but I didn't have anything that fit. Now it's so uncomfortable to wear one as the bra band gets wedged between the breasts and bump.

@Gardenlady543 interesting! They look like thread veins. I’m wondering what sort of bra I could get to help with all this? Mine look different right now, one is a bit mottled and the other is a ridiculous blue vein. I’ve marked them as sensitive in case anyone is sensitive to my ugly veins 😂

Is there anything I should ask at the booking in appointment? I’ve had a bit of a meltdown over maybe having toxo and listeria after consuming illicit goods at the weekend, so I think I’ll ask her about that. I managed to eat Bad Things three times in 24 hours accidentally and on purpose.

@thislittlebird yeah exactly at the start it just looked like vascular markings. So annoying that I now have stretch marks and I have them nowhere else on my body. I don't get it, people have breast augmentation and go up massively in size overnight so don't understand how this has happened to me and not to them.

Yours just look like blood vessels, and this is quite normal, mine look quite veiny at the top as well.

I wish I'd got these sooner, Lemef Nursing Sleep Bras Wirefree Maternity Breastfeeding Bras 3 Pack amzn.eu/d/8m77iRw

They are difficult now because of the band but I think anything would be. Buy bigger than you think, I am quite a slim person and would wear a 32D and I got a large.