This will be long… but hopefully it will give the public an insight to what we are facing on the wards. Labour ward/birth centre has absolutely no problems because they are all private rooms. I work on a mixed antenatal/postnatal ward. 4 beds per bay and 4 private rooms which are only used for covid positive patients. I will give my honest opinion on fathers/partners/family members staying on the ward. Our ward always allowed 1 partner to stay 24/7, and sleep on a chair. 1 more visitor was allowed at certain times. Since covid this changed for a long period of time but it has reverted back now to normal.
If all visitors/parents followed the rules then we wouldn’t have any issues. If ALL staff were singing from the same page, we wouldn’t have an issue. The problem in the NHS is everyone thinks they are a manager. Staff make up their own rules for everything and managers are so busy or are doing the exact same, that nothing can be implemented. I know of midwives who have no idea about certain rules and policies. If you try to do your job, they will fight you on it, they will tell the husband for example that they can do something which is states in the policy they are not allowed to do. Patients and visitors are getting mixed messages and then they start to become verbally abusive because they are stressed out, their partner or baby might be ill, and staff are messing them around. One staff member says one thing and the next says something totally different.
I’ve had patients complaining to me multiple times per day that one midwife has given them totally different information to the next midwife. Day and night staff… totally different information given. These families see so many different staff each day that you can’t get the name of the staff member because the patient says they didn’t introduce themselves or give their name. Name badges are covered or missing, or covered with a different pass which doesn’t contain the name, everyone’s wearing scrubs so there is no accountability. My managers are aware of this issue, but the ward managers are too soft. Senior managers are harsher but they are in the office in meetings most of the day and we can’t disturb. Some days you don’t even see them.
Sometimes minor issues have lead to security being called on, all because the staff are too soft, have let them get away with things and then when any members of staff do try to implement rules, they are verbally abused. I will admit it can be very intimidating having a man shout at you aggressively in an enclosed space and all of the other staff are nowhere to be seen. We have a panic button that was installed 6 months ago because of this issue. I dread to think how the other patients are feeling.
I will point out that every single man (it’s always a man) has been allowed to stay on the ward after security and the police have been called. Apparently it’s their right as a father. Managers are too soft and are putting staff and patients in dangerous situations. We know nothing about these men and we have no access to their information for all we know they might have just been released from prison or be on the sex offenders register. We have boyfriends, husbands, brothers, brother in laws, friends of the mum visiting. I really do think checks should be done to some extent if you are expecting to come into a secure unit full of newborns and vulnerable women, with only a curtain between them which doesn’t always stay closed. I had to tell a man last week not to walk around topless. He looked at me like I was crazy for asking him to put his top on in the corridor…
A large majority of women and their visitors do not speak English. They cannot follow the rules if they can’t understand the rules. I’ve seen men walk straight into the ward, straight into a woman's bed and pull back the curtain because he got the wrong bed number or got confused as they had recently moved wards. The front door buzzer is not manned properly and no one cares. No one checks the camera they just buzz the door open. What I think needs to happen is all front reception desks need to be changed and relocated to the front door of each ward. A visitor log along with name bands needs to be implemented. Every single staff member needs to take this seriously and they are not doing so.
As soon as I walk into a general nursing ward, even in uniform they are asking straight away “Can I help you, where are you going” it doesn’t seem to be the same in our maternity ward. I can’t speak for other wards but ours lacks any real management. I’ve visited my friend in the antenatal ward of another hospital and every staff member I came across spoke to me, asked me who I was here to visit. They also approached me as they buzzed me in, showed me where to go to find my friend, rather than letting me wonder around. This is how it should be. If women are not going to speak up or leave honest feedback then nothing will change. Staff try to speak up and we are ignored but as soon as the same complaints come in but from a patient rather than staff, suddenly changes are made. Management only listen to the views of the women, you have more power than you think. I encourage all women in my ward to leave feedback once they feel ready to. Good or bad it is important for the wellbeing and safety of new mothers.
Some rules that get broken multiple times per shift:
Partners using the bathroom despite each bathroom having a massive sign saying patients only. Visitors toilets are on the ward but they are clearly just lazy. They use our towels as well. Other women then can’t get access to the bathroom. It’s bad enough 4 women having to share a bathroom but it quickly becomes 8 people when partners can’t follow the rules.
Partners demanding food and drink and then becoming verbally abusive to the food service staff when they are politely told no.
People tailgating the front door and sneaking family or friends in. I’ve seen one lady have 9 visitors and no one could understand how they got inside the bay unnoticed. They can be very sneaky when they want.
Partners eating the mums food and then the mum asks for more because she’s hungry. This costs so much NHS money, I see the husbands eating food every day that was just served to the patient by our staff.
Getting in the way, refusing to move or even wake up from having a sleep. Sometimes they camp out on the floor on a pull out bed they brought in! The amount of times I’ve tripped over is unreal. Our equipment is full of wires too so we need as much space as possible otherwise it becomes a hazard.
This one is actually really common… When you ask the patient a question and the husband answers for her. Not once or twice but every time, it becomes quite worrying. It’s obvious that he is controlling and I really need the mum to answer my questions not the dad as it pertains to the mums health. They don’t like not being in control or not having the attention on them. Quite pathetic really, they have to make it all about them.
Some of the women on mumsnet will be genuinely lovely people who respect rules and NHS staff but some of you are the problem or at least your husbands are. Women do not want to be subjected to your husband infringing on their personal space. I feel sorry for a lot of these women, if their husbands can shout at a woman working in a hospital and have security called, I wonder how they treat their wife behind closed doors. The whole of the NHS needs private hospital rooms for maternity care. That is the only solution, more staff would be helpful as well, then the mums could receive enough support that the visitors wouldn’t need to be there as much.
I won’t be working for the NHS much longer as nothing will ever change. It will just continue to get worse, most of my colleagues have left or are leaving, especially in this past year. We understand how you feel about staying in hospitals and especially the postnatal ward. We wish things could change but a lack of real management and support from senior NHS managers and the government, and lack of funding and staff will bring an end to the NHS soon. Staff cannot speak up, trust me we’ve tried and we all learn that it’s so corrupt and underfunded that we won’t win. Change costs money, they don’t want to spend the money so we get ignored.