Absurd Reactions to Gender!?

[Lalallals248]

I have recently discovered that our third and final child is another boy - we already have two, so no daughters for us. We've had multiple miscarriages between our pregnancies so a healthy pregnancy that survived the first trimester was our main priority, but I admit I did have a strong preference for a daughter and felt quite sad when I realised it was a boy, which I think is only natural when it's your final baby and you have the same gender.
Anyway, the thing that is getting me the most is other people's reactions to my news! While I do feel it's acceptable for me to be sad that I'm not going to have a daughter, other people seem to be feeling like this is the very worst thing that could have happened to me and I've had nothing but negative comments and outpourings of sympathy! I am quite sensitive and it's genuinely making me very, very sad, to the point that I've stopped sharing gender with other people and I just feel a little deflated that nobody seems to be happy for me.
Some comments I've received so far:
'Ouch, three boys? I don't envy you there.'
'Oh, another boy? I don't know whether to congratulate you or just say sorry!'.
'Aww, it's not your fault, you couldn't choose. It'll be okay when he's here.' (This was actually one of the nicest comments I've had).
'Oh you'll be the mother-in-law - so no-one at the Christmas table when you're older; there'll be with their wives' families!'.
'Aww, sons are temporary family members - remember: a son's a son til' he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for life'.
'Three boys - you don't even like sports, do you? Poor thing'.
'There's no point trying again, sadly; when you've had three, you'll get another boy don't put yourself through it'.
'Aww, maybe you just can't carry girls - look at all those you lost.'
Not one person has congratulated me and the things they've said have really shocked me and, tbh, upset me! I'm no longer telling people gender because the looks/comments I get are just awful and I admit I'm quite sensitive! My SIL has three girls and while she said she had a few people asking if she'd try once more for a boy, she's had nothing to the length I've had! Why are people so mean about boys?!?! And why do they feel they have the right to make people feel sad at a happy time :(

I've had this one quite a lot from family members. My husband said they mean it in a nice way??? He's very much water of a duck's back and none of this fazes him in the slightest - in fact, he thinks I'm being a bit silly being upset by it at all, hence this post to see whether others have gone through it.

Mother of 4 sons here. Had the odd comment over the years, like:wow you've got your hands full!! (Whixh was very true!!) Only one person said "that's a shame ". I did harbour hopes of having a girl but it wasn't to be, and tbh having same sex siblings is much easier when it comes to clothing , hand me downs, toys, shared interests etc.
In a world where so many couples long for parenthood and would just be happy to have a baby, boy or girl, people should just keep their unwanted opinions to themselves!!

I have three girls and a boy. I can honestly say I never knew how amazing a mammy of a boy would be. Obviously the girls are amazing too but he is just so much more easier than the girls. With girls, your have a lifetime of drama and friendship problems and emotional problems a whole lot more than you get with boys.
I really think there is something lovely and special about 3 brothers..
Happy Christmas Op, and just plant a big smile on your face when announcing your third son and tell everyone you are blessed to be having a healthy baby boy, when people are sympathising just laugh at them, they don't know how special having threes little boys is. And gone are the days when mammys are forgotten after boy meets wife,boys always have time for their mammys 💙💙💙

Tell them to shut the fuck up. I've never read such a list of negative comments! They are not your friends.
Congratulations on your pregnancy OP

Thanks was just wondering- have two sets of friends trying for a boy and each now have 3 girls- it’s ridiculous imo. Have as many children as you want because you want not because you need a sex

Page 2 and the girl bashing has begun…..so typical!

Congratulations op. Boys are great, babies are great, it’s all going to be lovely.

wrt the adult relationships, my brother spends far more time with my mum than I do (we’re in our 40s) and dh has a brother and sister, sister lives the other end of the country and sees her dad infrequently, dh and his brother see his dad most weeks. Often parents stay close to adult sons.

it’s strange the cultural preference for girls in this country, I don’t quite understand it and I don’t think it’s healthy.

I have three boys and I've never had one comment like this. I've had air sucking between the teeth like I had taken on raising a wolf pack but in reality my kids are easy to look after - although jokes about the amount of food required to keep them going as teens was spot on.

Glad I have read this as in a similar position and perplexed that very few people are offering congratulations!! Standard responses seem to be a laugh, comments on how stinky my house will be, and how awful it will be to have 3 teenage boys. It was a very bumpy start to the pregnancy and we didn’t know we would even make it to 20 weeks so I think that makes it worse.

congratulations from me. People can be awful xxx

So bloody rude! Mine are still small but from looking at friends with multiple kids of both sexes adult relationships have everything to do with personality (and, with regards to still having to regularly feed them and their partners, proximity!) and nothing to do with sex at all.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers think you need to re read my reply where I said girls are also amazing. I have said nothing to "bash" girls. It's well known that females can be much more emotional and dramatic than boys. That's just nature.Neither gender is better, just different. And yes I am being nice and truthful to the op but am not going to write realms of how amazing girls are,what kind of person are you!! Not really the time or place; but certainly no girl bashing as you say

I’ve got three boys. People are dickheads. I still get comments now, even when they are being absolute angels 🤷🏼‍♀️

You’ve hit a hat trick of beautiful boys! Well done! Congratulations 🥳

There really is no other acceptable response. I can’t even imagine what kind of an arsehole you’d have to be to imply that your losses must have been girls! So sorry OP.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers What are you actually on about?

People say the same kind of thing to me. Just try and ignore it. I have 3 boys and people always say "oh you'll have to try again to get your girl". I can't even have anymore but I wouldn't want a girl anyway. I don't get it.

Just find it boring that the narrative becomes
”ignore all the stereotypes about boys- but girls are more emotional and would be harder to parent”

Congratulations OP, three boys sounds wonderful!

I will never understand people who think like this, I have one of each and their gender is irrelevant to me. It doesn't change how I feel about them, it doesnt dictate their personalities, I don't know why people fixate on it . I don't feel any different about my daughter just because she's female.

Show me the scientific study that proves this.

It's awful, isn't it. As I said in my post, I'm quite sensitive, and some of the comments have genuinely reduced me to tears. We're seeing family on my dad's side later today for a Xmas present exchange and my dad thinks I'm silly for not wanting to share that it's a boy with his side but I've been totally put off. It's not even their baby - why do they care?!

I wouldn't say you are being "quite sensitive" at all to be honest- I'm judging them for being very insensitive though!

I'm sorry that you're having crappy responses. I particularly hate that saying about a son's a son until he gets a wife. FFS.

Congratulations!

This sounds a bit odd. 15 year old holding your hand in public?

Someone pointing out the pros of boys (even if stereotyping slightly) isn’t bashing girls. Your perspective is exactly why people view boys negatively. If you say something good, there’s someone along to throw their toys out of the pram moaning about girl bashing.

Wow that's awful, I can't believe anyone would say those things!
Everyone knows the correct response to baby sex news is "Oh that's lovely, congratulations!".
If you were an acquaintance of mine I'd probably say "Oh that's lovely, a little troop of boys, congratulations!"

It's well known that females can be much more emotional and dramatic than boys. how is this not "girl-bashing"