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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Not sure who baby's father is

35 replies

confused512 · 10/11/2022 11:55

Before anyone judges - I am going to be a single mum and have not cheated on a partner resulting in this situation.

It's embarrassing but I'm starting to doubt who my baby's father is, keen on other's opinions.

The facts:

  • My EDD is the 5th of December 22 calculated by dating scan at 9 weeks
  • This scan put my LMP as 27/28th February 22 (I was on the pill so had to go by dating scan)
  • This scan indicates ovulation date as March 13-15th 22

When I had sex:

  • Protected condom sex with partner A on March 6th
  • Unprotected sex with partner B with him finishing inside both times on March 12th and 13th
  • Protected condom sex with Partner A on March 19th

From the start I believed that partner B is the father as the times fall exactly within the ovulation window and the sex was twice and unprotected with him finishing inside. Condoms were used correctly with partner A and there was no slippage or breaks that I noticed either time. I'm hoping that it is partner B, and it seems the most likely option but just keen to put it out there and see what other's think as I'm nearly 37 weeks pregnant and having nightmares every night second guessing myself.

I've looked into conception facts and can add:

  • Dating scans at 9 weeks are estimated to have accuracy within +/- 3 days and this scan matched when I thought I bled last
  • Sperm can live in the vagina for 5 days so even if I ovulated March 14-17th it could still be partner B
  • The egg is only viable to be fertilised 12-24 hours after release so if I ovulated anywhere between March 11th- March 17th it's more likely to be partner B

Agh, I don't know how I've ended up in this situation I go ages without sleeping with anyone and the one time my pill failed and I got pregnant it could be 2 different men! Anyway, I know nobody can say for sure but I guess I'm just looking for some opinions/reassurance on what others think as I don't want to come clean and discuss this with anyone else in my real life yet.....

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 10/11/2022 13:16

confused512 · 10/11/2022 12:56

No, no no! I'm not concerned about having a mixed race child.

I'm concerned because partner B is Caucasian and partner A is Asian - I've told everyone close to me it's partner B's because I assumed it was.. I'm only starting to doubt things now.

I'm stressed about having to come clean that there was more than one guy I slept with.... if the baby ends up being asian it'll be pretty damn obvious to all that I slept with more than one person and I'll have to answer questions right after giving birth which is not ideal

Ahhh right, sorry I read it that your family might give you a hard time - sorry!

Honestly op I don't think anyone will ask awkward questions right after you've given birth - they'll be too busy with everything that's going on. If you've got a good relationship with them, is there any reason you wouldn't share your concerns with them first?

Nameandgamechange123 · 10/11/2022 13:21

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I guess you could spend hours calculating and recalculating dates and times etc. But the truth is that you're only going to find out when the baby gets here. And when it does, I doubt it will seem such a big deal about what your family think! Good luck!

DailyEnergyCrisis · 10/11/2022 13:29

I honestly don’t think it’ll be on anyones mind to scrutinise the complexion/features of a newborn. They all are often covered in stuff and then sometimes go a bit yellow as the liver starts to work properly- it won’t be obvious what race the baby is for a while but it’s 99.5% partner B anyway.

Skylark1990 · 10/11/2022 16:33

Based on your dates it is Partner B. Honestly. It won't be Partner A. You used condoms with him and it doesn't match up with your ovulation.

So just release this worry and trust in this knowledge.

Once baby is here, the 0.0001% chance it was Partner A won't matter in the slightest as you will be absolutely smitten with your new babe.

Congratulations!

GreenSunfish · 18/01/2023 23:13

I think it’s B too but you can get paternity dna tests while you’re pregnant if you could get A to agree. Otherwise I think on the day you will all be so excited that it won’t matter and your family will be fine. Congratulations 🎉

Moni81 · 18/01/2023 23:25

Well now it's just matter of weeks and you will know, but most likely partner B. There is way to test as soon as 10-12 weeks from aminotic fluid, but partner has to be present to give blood sample.

GoT1904 · 19/01/2023 04:47

It's 99% (or equivalent to the reliability of condoms) partner B, not partner A.

MerryMarigold · 19/01/2023 05:22

I don't think half Asian will be obvious at birth at all. My kids are half Indian and they looked white at birth. I have 3 kids now in teens. One still looks white, the others only if you know their Dad would you see it. I think you're fine.

Anamechangeisnotjustforchristmas · 19/01/2023 05:34

Half Filipino will not be obvious at birth, and possibly not for a very long time.

LBFseBrom · 22/01/2023 02:30

Almost certainly B is the father. Please try not to dwell on it, though no contraceptives are 100% safe, unless the condom slipped off or burst you are pretty safe. Presumably your baby is now with you and I hope you have good support from your family.

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