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Pregnancy

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Original poster

How far would you travel with a 4 week old

95 replies

Cw122 · 13/10/2022 19:22

So first time mum here, I'm due at the end of Nov and my family live about 2 hrs away. They've been asking us to come for Xmas but I'm wary of making such a long journey maybe in poor weather, with a new baby while trying to get to grips with breastfeeding (hopefully) after a section. We'd only be able to stay for the night due to dh work being back the day after boxing day. I have suggested they come to us on boxing day but my parents don't seem to want to and have again asked us to come to them. What's the furthest you'd travel with a 4 week old and any advice?

OP posts:

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Bubbles021 · 13/10/2022 20:05

Families can be so unreasonable when you're the one who had just had a baby! My in laws live just under an hour and half away and wanted us to travel to them when we came home from hospital because they didn't want to make the journey 🤦🏼‍♀️ we didn't, but we do o try and see them regularly. I'd recommend stopping at a service station for a quick feed if you're going on the motorway as my little over found the journey just a bit too long

BonBon8493 · 13/10/2022 20:07

Congratulations - not long to go now! 😊

I had a c section in May and I personally was okay to drive after a couple of weeks but I had friends who wouldn’t have been okay for 4-6 weeks. So you’d have to get your partner or someone to drive possibly!

our LO wasn’t the best traveller, and it’s recommended to only keep them in their car seat for 45 mins (newborn) and up to 2hours maximum so you’d possibly need to stop along the way!

saying that, our LO now would sleep for the whole journey if we time it with when he is about to have a sleep or showing sleepy cues!

it’s doable but it might not be very fun 😊

I hope you can persuade them to come to you, you are still going to be recovering from major surgery and you are not going to be wanting long journeys!! X

anotherscroller · 13/10/2022 20:07

i wouldn’t leave my house/immediate area

milawops · 13/10/2022 20:07

I travelled 350 miles with a 5 week old. Can't remember how long it took but there were a lot of stops.

shivawn · 13/10/2022 20:10

We used to travel around an hour and a half every week to see family, from the very first week our baby was born. For me it wasn't a big deal. My husband used to drive though and I'd sit in the back with the baby, at that age he used to sleep most of the journey.

Justcallmebebes · 13/10/2022 20:10

I took an 8 hour flight with a 4 week old. She slept most of journey and it was fine

Montague22 · 13/10/2022 20:11

It so depends on how you heal and how your baby feeds.
So in my case:
Child 1 was easy to feed. I found the recovery a shock.
Child 2 fed well, I felt back to normal in 2 weeks
Child 3 was a nightmare to feed, weight concerns, I was in so much pain feeding her. Otherwise I felt okay.

So 2/3 times it would have been too much.

Aim to stay at home.

Fiddledeedeeee · 13/10/2022 20:11

After DC 1 we did a similar journey and it was fine.
Check the current guidance but I think at that age they should only be in their car seats for 20/30 mins at a time as the position can restrict airways (I think). So we had a few stops to lie him out flat and feed and change too.

AutumnScream · 13/10/2022 20:11

I wouldn't for the sake of one night as that just sounds exhausting and unpleasant. If you were going for a few days yes.

Kendodd · 13/10/2022 20:13

I'd travel the entire length of the country and have done.
Just because I would or anyone else would doesn't mean you have to though. What others would do is irrelevant, it's what works for you and your baby that matters. If I were you, I wouldn't make any firm plans to go and just see how you feel. You might not want to even leave the house, or you could be like a friend of mine who moved from Japan to Spain with a four week old and a toddler (😱)

AlwaysLatte · 13/10/2022 20:13

I booked a holiday abroad with my mum when my son was 10 weeks old and my husband was on a skiing trip which I decided to duck out of. It really depends how you feel, only you can decide. I found it easy at that age compared to toddler stage but you have to feel happy about it.

endofthelinefinally · 13/10/2022 20:17

IMO nobody should expect you to travel anywhere with a 4 week old. IMO they should organise Christmas dinner to be brought to you.
A 4 week old should not be in a car seat for more than 30 minutes. I know they say you can increase the time after 4 weeks, but as a midwife I would disagree.
Flying before 6 weeks post natal is a big DVT/PE risk so I wouldn't recommend that either.

endofthelinefinally · 13/10/2022 20:19

Christmas is very overrated IMO. You could easily visit your family another weekend in the year.

jumpingjackcrash · 13/10/2022 20:23

I'm due roughly same time as you so baby will be max 4 weeks (if he arrives on due date). We definitely won't be travelling to my parents (90 mins drive) and not promising we'll go to DHs family either (10 mins away). Sounds extreme but based on how my daughter was as a newborn I feel it's better to undercommit and then be a nice surprise rather than get their hopes up and let them down! It really depends on how the baby is tbh xx

Bemyclementine · 13/10/2022 20:26

I wouldn't do it. I travelled to a family oarty when ds1 was a few months old. It was about 1.5hours but was an absolute nightmare, he screamed and screamed in the car. 😭 I backed out of attending a good friend's wedding the following month as a result. I def wouldn't do it with a 4 week old.

magaluf1999 · 13/10/2022 20:26

I did that sort of a journey, longer actually with mine. But i wouldn't for just one night. Too much stuff to pack up, too much hassle, stress and you wont even have time to settle at the other end. Not a big enough gap between the two drives if the first one was a bit stressy. Unless you can stay on an extra night or two when dp goes back to work.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/10/2022 20:28

I travelled 5000 miles with an 8 week old.

I still wouldn't do what you're proposing!

AuntieDolly · 13/10/2022 20:29

I'm sure I was still sitting on the sofa in my dressing gown at 4 weeks! I wouldn't put myself under the added pressure of Christmas away.

Sallyh87 · 13/10/2022 20:33

I would travel no distance with a four week old.

But that’s me and I felt pretty rubbish after my first. Some people will feel able to. However, do you want to or are you just feeling pressured to do it? Would you even enjoy it?

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 13/10/2022 20:36

Justcallmebebes · 13/10/2022 20:10

I took an 8 hour flight with a 4 week old. She slept most of journey and it was fine

You're so brave. Mine is nearly 16 months and I still haven't got the nerve to do this

Doveyouknow · 13/10/2022 20:44

We did a 6hr flight followed by a 4hr drive with a 2 month old. It was hard but not as hard as doing it when he was 18 months old! We did other shorter journeys (2-3 hrs). I would say train is easier than car.

Bootsandcat · 13/10/2022 20:48

I had c sections both times, wouldn’t really consider such a long trip after 4 weeks. My second I was in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks after massive complications, you never know how it’s gonna go. Even if the birth goes well, you’ll have a newborn and you’ll be shattered anyway, so a 4 hour round trip is the last thing you’ll want to do.

Just tell them you’re going to enjoy your Christmas as a new family of 3 in your own home, they can drop by (but not stay) if they feel like it.

PinkSyCo · 13/10/2022 21:24

I travelled over 300 miles by car with a breastfed 3 week old with no problems at all. She was born naturally though.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 13/10/2022 21:27

I just wouldn't commit. You have no idea how you will feel, you might be up to it you might not. They shouldn't put pressure on

Devo1818 · 13/10/2022 21:30

About 4 metres.

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