How far would you travel with a 4 week old

[Cw122]

So first time mum here, I'm due at the end of Nov and my family live about 2 hrs away. They've been asking us to come for Xmas but I'm wary of making such a long journey maybe in poor weather, with a new baby while trying to get to grips with breastfeeding (hopefully) after a section. We'd only be able to stay for the night due to dh work being back the day after boxing day. I have suggested they come to us on boxing day but my parents don't seem to want to and have again asked us to come to them. What's the furthest you'd travel with a 4 week old and any advice?

I had my baby in late Nov last year. We could have travelled for Christmas in terms of how I felt, but we actually ended up back in hospital until the 29th... even that aside, we'd have wanted to be at home. He travelled well - he always has, even on flights - but the constant stopping is a pain and it's just more comfortable with all their stuff.

I'd be suggesting it's an immediate family Christmas this year. They can't be too fussed or they'd come to you.

I flew to Spain with a six week old (I also had a section). It was fine. But that's us - you may not feel as comfortable.

Thanks so much for the advice. I think I'll try again to convince them to come to us for the day as it would just be easier and we won't need to commit to anything! I think they're just very keen but I'm the only one living away so they're used to a 5 minute run in the car for visits!

I traveled 500 miles with a 2 wk old.

i wouldnt reccomend.

Tell them they can come or not but you’ll be safely set up at home with your tiny baby recovering and not risking breakdowns or accidents on winter roads.

As far as I needed to. In the past I’ve been abroad alone with a baby that age, done hundreds of miles as the only adult with a baby that age and a young child on public transport, taken a baby that age and two older children camping.

but the point is I wanted to, as staying still is utterly against my nature and I quite frankly can’t do it.

if you want to go for Christmas, go and don’t worry, it will all be fine.

if you don’t want to, don’t and tell them so. It will be fine.

if you want to see them invite them to you, I did Christmas dinner for extended family with my Christmas baby and it was utterly special.

But you get to choose because you have the baby!

I did a long haul flight (12 hours) when DS was 4 weeks old. It was fine; he breasted and slept the whole way.

But I didn't have a section.

With the possibility of a baby only being a couple of weeks old, you still physically recovering from birth (stitches, lochia, engorged breasts...)

I wouldn't make any firm plans this far out. You might be dancing on the streets or you might just need to curl up on the sofa

You’ll have to wait see how you feel! I had a c section and felt fine after a week and travelled 8 hours by train and boat to Ireland with my baby when she was 6 weeks old. I booked 2 days before I travelled as I couldn’t foresee how I would feel or what I could handle tbh!

I travelled from London to Leeds and back with a nearly 4 week old but by train so it was absolutely fine as we could feed, change etc. I guess that may be more difficult over Christmas though.

I wouldn’t commit.
My daughter screamed constantly in the car until….well she moved to whinging and complaining at some stage and still does age 9. Plus she wanted to feed constantly at that age. Well meaning relatives would comment and expect her to go three hours between feeds. So no from me.

I travelled 1 hr by car, hung about airport for 2 hours, then 1 hour flight, then 30 mins other end. Dc was 5 weeks. Slept the whole way apart from quick feed on plane.

My baby hated the car seat and a 20 min journey at a few weeks old of her sobbing the whole way was enough for me and I never went further than 5 mins down the road til she got older. It was just too stressful hearing her cry. And yes, as others have said, they aren't meant to be in the car seat very long at that age x

I wouldn’t do it now with the experience of hindsight but at the time I probably would have pushed through. And then felt it was a waste of time and energy afterwards.

And honestly the experience is so personal that’s it is hard to know what is best for you.

One thing I would say is your family don’t sound very understanding at all so I would be worried they won’t be that accommodating or helpful when you’re there which you would really really need. It’s an assumption on my part, yes, but that’s the bit that would probably make me decide to stay home.

The advice is 2hrs in a 24 hr period for how long a newborn can travel in a car seat. There are health considerations.

babysafeltd.com/safety/2-hour-rule/

So, you need to consider if the journey could take longer than 2 hours if there are traffic delays (especially being Christmas there will be more people travelling). Also, would there be any other driving trips in that 24hr period.

Honestly, I wouldn’t make that journey with a 4 week old baby.

@Hairymaery My dd was the same when she was a newborn baby. She hated being in the pram too. Cried and cried and cried.

I wouldn't go anywhere.
Xmas will still be there next year.

I wouldn't. 4 weeks after my section I was walking around fine and recovered well, breastfeeding was fine, but I was still bleeding, and very sleep deprived. You might need to inject yourself with blood thinners for 6 weeks after the section, I wouldn't like doing that not at home for some reason. How would sleep arrangements work, would your baby settle in a travel cot? Mine wouldn't.
It will be so much more comfortable to be at home.

Well I travelled to the Falkland Islands with a 5 week old baby and a 2 year old by myself. Which was (then) a 23 hour flight...and entailed checking into Brize Norton at 2am and waiting a further 4 hours for the flight. There was a 3 hour refuelling stop at Ascension where we were all sat inside a 'cage' in boiling heat. In total I was travelling (door to door) for around 30 hours.

So I guess it's down to what you are actually prepared to do really. So many excuses on here...very sad!

OP did you name change?

It’s not so much the distance, (although you’ll have to get the baby out of the car seat regularly), it’s more than I’d want to be in my own home.

You’ll have everything set up nice and cosy, nipple cream in every room.

@SpringIntoChaos how supportive! Excuses? What’s wrong with brand new mothers not wanting to travel with their new babies? Well done that you felt well enough to, but not everyone does. That’s not some sort of failing or rudeness.
OP’s family don’t seem like they are “prepared to do” much for her because they don’t understand how she might find it difficult. So maybe they’re not worth her time.

Your baby shouldn’t be in a car seat longer than half an hour as a newborn, so you’d need really regular stops to take them out.

I’m due the end of October and have already planned to have Christmas at home this year.

here’s your medal🏅

Also if you are due end Nov you might be 2 weeks late which means you could have a 2 weeks old! But again baby could come early and you have 6 week old who might (very much depending on the baby) be more settled - that said I personally would not want to make any commitments at this stage

And yeah I bled for at least 6 weeks after the birth pretty heavily which for some reason I hadn't taken on board