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Original poster

How far would you travel with a 4 week old

95 replies

Cw122 · 13/10/2022 19:22

So first time mum here, I'm due at the end of Nov and my family live about 2 hrs away. They've been asking us to come for Xmas but I'm wary of making such a long journey maybe in poor weather, with a new baby while trying to get to grips with breastfeeding (hopefully) after a section. We'd only be able to stay for the night due to dh work being back the day after boxing day. I have suggested they come to us on boxing day but my parents don't seem to want to and have again asked us to come to them. What's the furthest you'd travel with a 4 week old and any advice?

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Regularsizedrudy · 14/10/2022 08:31

A baby that age should not be in a car seat for longer than 20/30 mins. They would need proper breaks (30 mins to an hour not just a quick break)

Biscuits1011 · 14/10/2022 08:52

If wouldn’t be travelling with the 4 week old that would worry me, it would be the recovery from the c section… I had one just over 3 weeks ago and although I do feel loads better, I still can’t over do it or I feel it… so bare that in mind.

ChloeHel · 14/10/2022 09:38

I’ve just travelled 2 hours with a one week old to see my family. No issues with breastfeeding. Stopped an hour in for a break and to get her out.

Bootsandcat · 14/10/2022 09:45

@SpringIntoChaos on sod off. It’s your choice to go to Falklands (presuming to be with your husband?), you didn’t have to. You clearly had an easy birth. I nearly died, sorry that’s just being sad and making excuses.

Roselilly36 · 14/10/2022 09:48

Just say, you will have to wait till baby arrives to make a decision. We could have done it with DS1, who was a happy & contented baby, with DS2 it would have been out of the question. Good luck OP.

Squirrelvillage · 14/10/2022 09:51

I'd go anywhere with a four week old, any distance. I wouldn't want to leave my local area that soon after a CS though.

Look at some actual evidence about car seat limits, rather than listening to strangers on the internet.

kirinm · 14/10/2022 09:52

At 4 weeks post section I was dealing with an infection and in a lot of pain. I wouldn't have gone anywhere. But I know lots of people make recoveries much quicker than that.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/10/2022 10:06

I did an hour and a half trip to see my newly widowed mum when dc2 was a day and a half old. She was born by emergency section. We stopped a lot, broke the journey up at my inlaws who live about about an hour away and it was fine.

It was my second emcs though so I had an idea how my recovery looked. See how you feel? By 4 weeks with both of mine, I wanted to be out as much as possible.

redskyhaze · 14/10/2022 10:20

I think you would probably be OK for the journey, but also your parents are being really unreasonable expecting it with such a small baby.

Why won't they travel to you?

ym10146 · 14/10/2022 10:31

Just be firm if you don’t want to do it. You could wait and see how you feel closer to the time, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Put you and your baby first and if you don’t feel comfortable doing the drive then don’t. It’s a lovely time but can also be stressful if things are going 100% to plan, allow yourself the time without the pressure of the journey.

Windinmyhair · 14/10/2022 10:35

I took mine to the mountains in the south of France from the south of the uk 4 post weeks post c section.

we took it steady, stopped overnight etc.

you can do it, babies are really portable at that age.

however, the bigger question is do you want to go? If not then say that and don’t let people pressure you!

SergeiL · 14/10/2022 10:50

Not all 4 week old babies are the same.

Not all women 4 weeks post partum are the same.

See how you feel but I wouldn’t want to make any plans.

A few smug medals to give out on this thread. Well done you for trying to make other women feel inadequate.

CorpusCallosum · 14/10/2022 12:43

I wouldn't! As many have said, you might be fine or you might feel like you've been hit by a bus. Don't make any plans or promises to your parents till after baby is here.

RedRobyn2021 · 14/10/2022 12:52

Baby might come late too so they could be even younger than 4 weeks at Christmas!

Personally, I wouldn't be going to there's for Christmas. It's a lot isn't it? Not just the distance but with such a young baby and if you're trying to breastfeed it's just going to make it even harder.

Sending you love and if you need it, strength to say "thank you, but no thank you"

You know what I would have preferred? A lovely quiet family Christmas, just you, your partner and your new baby. Some M&S dinners/Chinese takeaway, maybe a walk out with the sling. I appreciate though that not everyone is me, this is just my opinion.

RedRobyn2021 · 14/10/2022 12:59

Like my DD was 12 days past her "due date" when she came, so that would be travelling with a two week old. Is this your first OP?

TheTeddyBears · 14/10/2022 15:50

We travelled 2hrs with a 6week old. We were just going a wee holiday to a lovely lodge at the Lake District and it was in the summer. We stopped half way at service station and fed baby changed her etc so it actually took more like 3 hrs in total. She slept pretty much the whole way there and same on way bk.

Your situation is different in that it's only for 1 night and you will staying with family so won't have a whole place to yourself to relax. If you really want to go I'm sure it will be fine. However, I think they are being quite unreasonable in not wanting to come to you which would be much easier. The guide lines I'm sure have changed again and it's supposed to something like 30mins in car at a time for a newborn.

wishuponastar1988 · 14/10/2022 16:40

I drove solo a 1hr 45 min journey with a 3 week old. It was fine and I stopped every 40 mins. I didn't have any expectations in terms of how long it would take me and just set off at my leisure. It was ok but it will depend entirely on how you feel after Labour

20viona · 14/10/2022 16:44

I'd go. 4 week olds don't do anything except sleep in my experience but I don't breastfeed so I know that can differ.

YukoandHiro · 14/10/2022 16:51

As far as the sofa tbh

Windinmyhair · 14/10/2022 23:22

SergeiL · 14/10/2022 10:50

Not all 4 week old babies are the same.

Not all women 4 weeks post partum are the same.

See how you feel but I wouldn’t want to make any plans.

A few smug medals to give out on this thread. Well done you for trying to make other women feel inadequate.

Making someone feel inadequate is the last thing I would want (if that was aimed at me, given I was directly before your post).

The OP literally asked for what we would/have done. In hindsight, I could have balanced it out and said for my first, an emergency C section (rather than a planned one) I wouldn't have moved if you had paid me a million pounds.

I guess I was trying to say the bigger question is not what other people would do, rather what the OP herself wants to do.

PorcupinePie · 14/10/2022 23:27

I wouldn't commit to anything, OP. I developed awful PND in the weeks following DC1's birth (also a November baby). I could barely leave the house. You just don't know how you'll be feeling at that point.

SergeiL · 15/10/2022 08:18

@Windinmyhair no not you.

BeanyBops · 15/10/2022 08:24

From the living room to the kitchen. At a push.

DesMoulinsRouge · 15/10/2022 08:35

I wouldn't, too stressful at 4 weeks for me.
I was still bleeding and completely knackered/sleep deprived. Also harder to do everything when you aren't at home with all your stuff.
But then lots of people do, it's really about how you feel at the time which no one can really predict.

MyBuggyIsOutToGetMe · 15/10/2022 08:36

I’d definitely bear in mind that you could be just two weeks post-partum if you go overdue. If I were in your position, I wouldn’t make a commitment now and would see how I felt once baby was here. If they want a firm answer now, for me it would be a no. I might be more flexible if I was going to be able to stay for longer but one night with a newborn, somewhere that’s not set up for you, could be tough.

Is there a reason they’re reluctant to come to you?

I took mine on a journey of up to 3 hours from about 4/5 weeks but it would always be for several days, and it was to my DPs, who had all the baby gear we needed (and would buy nappies, etc) so I just needed to take clothes and anything we specifically wanted from home like the Gro-Egg.