How far would you travel with a 4 week old

[Cw122]

So first time mum here, I'm due at the end of Nov and my family live about 2 hrs away. They've been asking us to come for Xmas but I'm wary of making such a long journey maybe in poor weather, with a new baby while trying to get to grips with breastfeeding (hopefully) after a section. We'd only be able to stay for the night due to dh work being back the day after boxing day. I have suggested they come to us on boxing day but my parents don't seem to want to and have again asked us to come to them. What's the furthest you'd travel with a 4 week old and any advice?

I think that is a reasonable journey length with enough stops. However I would be be doing it just because the font seem to want to visit you!!

You mention a c section, are you having an elective? If not you might only have a 2-3 week old too

I had a rough time with my C section and at 4 weeks pp I still couldn't walk properly. Most people do better than that though. I wouldn't make any promises; see how you feel.

It depends so much on so many factors, certainly don't commit at this stage but you could see how you feel at the time if you wanted to. Come people do go a bit doolally with babies though- my in laws went through a really obsession with us going to them rather than the other way round, but no idea why as travelling was so much more complicated for the party with small children and the distances involved aren't small.

I had one child that just screamed in the car. Properly screamed. And screamed. And screamed. She only ever managed about 10 mins before it started until she was switched to a forward facing seat aged almost 2.

Equally, had another who was much more laid back and did a long trip with her 3 weeks so I could be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding when she was 4 weeks old. The journey took ages as we were stopping every 30 mins for a 30 min break, and a couple of times we had to keep stopping to settle her as she was obviously fed up to. Is was manageable though, did a week in a holiday cottage with her.

But there were no c-sections involved and breastfeeding all went swimmingly, if things hadn't worked as well as I'd hoped there no way we could have done it.

We did a wedding five hours away with a 4 week old, but our friends understood that our decision to come would be very last minute! As it happened it was fine.

We did a 12 hour road trip over 2 days when DS was 4 weeks old. It was before there was any guidance on how long you should keep babies in a car seat. I vividly remember changing a nappy in the boot of our estate car in one of the lay-bys near Glencoe with the mountains all around us. (I hadn't had a section though).

It's not about the baby. Assuming (fingers crossed) a healthy full-term baby they could go on transiberian express. It's you. 4 weeks after c-section I really really would not want to be away from home.

Mum and dad we have decided we’re going to stay home in the warm and not make the new baby have to do that awful journey in the winter whilst so tiny hope you understand obviously invite for Boxing Day is still open hopefully see you then otherwise will meet up when little one is up to the travel.
Simple your a parent soon your childs needs comes before someone else’s wants have a lovely quiet Christmas with your own little family. X

Thanks so much everyone for all the responses, it's definitely made me think I'm right to plan to stay home because its just such a mixed bag of experiences so I think those of you who've suggested not committing myself until I see how I feel are right. We've just said we'll be at home for the day and left an open invite for boxing day leftovers at ours if they want to come up which I think they will now. Turns out I think they were envisioning that being more work for us than coming down and being looked after so they just needed a bit of reassurance that we'd be happier hosting at home.

Depends on a baby and how you feel. My little one is such a good traveller since she was a baby. I love travelling with her! But I have a colleague who can’t imagine travelling with her little one at all 🤷‍♀️, so everyone is different. See what works best for you.

Not far as all! Your family are being unreasonable; as a general rule of thumb people shouldn’t expect or ask other people to do things you wouldn’t do yourself. They sound lazy and selfish

I went to a wedding 90 minutes drive in winter alone (husband was offshore) with my 9 day old baby.

Left wedding after first dance and drove home, had to pull over a feed times to Breast feed baby. It was ok I just allowed extra time.

The answer is that you don't make any promises. You tell them 'we'll see'. I recovered differently for ds1 section to ds2 section.

But depending on how you feel, how you feel post birth and how you recover, there is no reason why you can't drive. If you feel you can, at the time. I love driving and can drive for hours easily. I breastfeed ds2 popped him in the car, drove. He was asleep the whole time. 2 hours is nothing, if it suits baby and you.

We will be doing a 3 hr drive, getting a ferry for 2 1/2 hours and then 1 hr drive with my 3 week old. Totally wort it to introduce everyone. Staying 10 days though, before doing it in reverse.

Depends on many factors. But really to go that far for a short time because they can't be arsed to come to you seems a bit much.

At that point after my CS we were so sleep deprived, it wouldn't have been safe to drive 2 hrs. The wound would probably have been ok by then. You'd have to break up the journey a lot as small babies aren't meant to go more than half hour or so in a car seat.

Most of the problem here is that you may or may not be OK.

Baby 1 - definitely not OK, I wasn't recovered and DS was a very tricky feeder.

Baby 2 - I was 100% fine, very chill baby BUT for some unknown reason he couldn't travel and just cried non-stop in a car seat. Never did find out why but it resolved when he went front facing in a more upright seat at about 9 months.

30 mins for new born. With DD1 she was born at nearly 42 weeks and I was in hospital in until she was 10 days old. DD2 born at 38 weeks with a quickish recovery but she was poorly baby.

Its winter and you have a new born. They should be coming to you.

No. 4 weeks post major surgery having bf an infant for 4 weeks! No just say you’ll come later and stay home.

I wouldn't travel at all with a 4 week old.

I definitely wouldn’t travel that far for one night. Maybe if you were going for longer and you would be well looked after while there. If you are cautious and stop every 30 min (the longest you are recommended to keep a baby under 1 month in a car seat but 4 weeks is borderline) each journey will take ages and the whole trip will be pretty tiring. You might also get stuck in traffic and go over the 30 min limit. If breast feeding is going well it will be easy enough to stop along the way but if not you might be wanting to do lots of skin to skin or having long feeds, all much easier at home. Baby could be cluster feeding at that stage too.

I would have felt recovered enough from the section to sit in the car for 2 hours but was still sleeping propped up on a mountain of pillows so would have preferred to sleep in my own bed.

I think we would probably have been OK to travel two hours away with a 4 week old, but it depends entirely on how you are feeling, and I certainly wouldn't commit to it in advance.

You don't need a reason to say no. If you don't want to go, you don't want to go.