Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

NCT courses- any good?

132 replies

rieb95 · 09/10/2022 19:25

Hey,

So I've heard about the NCT antenatal courses and was considering signing up for one. But I've heard very mixed reviews of people saying the content itself is poor and they are only really good for making friends...

I don't have any pregnant friends so that would be a bonus but I just wondered what your experiences had been of the courses if you did one ? I don't have much knowledge of looking after a baby so even if they covered things very basically I think it may still benefit me. I just don't want to spend the money if one of the free courses would be just as good 🤷

Thanks for your advice

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
morechocolateneededtoday · 11/10/2022 19:40

Purplefoxes · 11/10/2022 18:06

I've already clarified what I said earlier on and I did not mean to generalise as I have already said, it's an emotional subject, however you still keep repeating the same thing over and over leaping in on one single thing I said which I've already explained, isn't that trolling?

You say above "as an adult, I have not encountered issues in any of the dramas that so many women post on here about" ah well of course they can't possibly be true or valid experiences then can they if YOU haven't personally experienced them and it must be some defect of those people at fault because you are wonderful and therefore never had those problems 🤣 talk about acting superior..... Wow just wow. Small wonder then you don't like what I said about SOME women on those groups acting superior, perhaps it touched a nerve? I came on here to share my experience of NCT, I've done that. I don't want this pettiness (exactly the sort of thing I was talking about) to derail the OPs thread any further. I'm so done. @rieb95 OP all I'm saying is don't expect the world on the friend front, not everyone will be nice, don't let anyone treat you poorly and be careful what advice and cross reference it with other sources and other mums if you can.

And so the accusations continue...

A troll is someone who enters a discussion to post inflammatory comment(s) to provoke outrage or uproar from an online community. This is absolutely not something I have done at any stage.

If anything, I went out of my way to be kind to you despite finding your messages highly offensive. Invoking difficult emotions does not give you a trump card to write nasty comments or make judgements.

WombatChocolate · 11/10/2022 19:48

But surely they make clear what the courses do cover. And if it’s what you don’t want, you dont sign up. I dont think they mislead people about what’s involved.

Sure, there might be a gap in the market for some of the other things people want.

There are a range of options for this pre-natal courses. The NHS do some and other organisations too. Probably what the NHS offer has reduced as funding is so tightly stretched now. The groups will be big and there isn’t any formal follow-up groups, but some people find they make friends at those if they are interested in that.

I think NCT has always been a ‘buy a friend’ service to some extent. It’s what some people are willing to pay for…but there are no guarantees you’ll make lifelong buddies, and lots of people join quite reluctantly I think….not really sure they want to make friends with anyone in a ‘forced’ situation and some not sure the NCT is their type of friend. But they join anyway. Some are pleasantly surprised and others have all their doubts and prejudices confirmed.

And there is a type. Although NCT runs courses and tries to put younger mums together, most who apply are 28+ with quite a lot at 40+ these days. They tend to be more affluent and although it’s certainly not exclusively so, married couples are well represented in most groups. It’s the fact it’s a paid-for service, plus who has traditionally joined which shapes who mostly joins, but there aren’t restrictions at all. If some people feel out of place, it’s not really that the NCT sets out to do that or even that the group members themselves do, but there is a certain type of person who typically joins. If anyone is uncomfortable being a bit different, they might not like it. Lots of people who don’t fit the standard mould join and feel welcomed and get lots out of it…but perhaps they are more confident and not so likely to have self-esteem issues which might be triggered by some people having bigger houses or more high flying jobs or more money to spend than they have.

And after birth, when grouos meet of their own accord and not in an official NCT capacity, each group will be different and meet at the places most of the group want to go to and be discussing the stuff the group are interested in. For some groups that will include stuff like cloth nappies, breastfeeding, baby led weaning, co-sleeping etc….things which might not be of interest to all. Other groups will be less interested in these things. But again, it reflects the demographic. Older, more affluent mums might be more interested in some of the environmental issues or what is seen as ‘tree hugging’ by some. All groups get shaped by those in them. If people speak up about what matters to them and they are interested in, it will shape the direction and interests of the group. All groups have louder, more dominant people and those who are quieter. It’s something people everything have to negotiate, and for some, being in groups like this outside the workplace isn’t something they’ve really done before with strangers. Some are more confident to voice their different views and some less so. Some will find they can voice their dissenting voice in a discussion and others will simply leave the group. Either is fine.

And the last thing I’d say is that groups have different lifespans. Some serve their purpose by proving the info about birth and a place for people to talk about their growing bump and childbirth worries. Some last for 6 months after and give people others to talk with on WhattsApp in the small hours about night feeding, and then fizzle out. Others last another couple of years until one or two people move away and oerhaos the key organiser is no longer around. Some still meet 20 years later. It’s not a failure if the group isn’t still meeeitng after 20 years or no-one has made a bosom buddy.

I suppose it comes down to having realistic expectations too. You spend your cash and you can expect to get info on childbirth and to meet people in a similar situation who are about to have a baby. That’s all you’re promised and pay for. Everything else is a mixture of luck and the level of input you and the others are willing to put in. There are other things you could spend your cash on. If money’s tight, and you aren’t the kind of person who generally likes spending time with those they don’t know, and finds they get on well with most types, maybe the money is better spent elsewhere. If you don’t mind spending the £350 then there’s not a huge amount to lose and potentially a lot to gain. You take a punt if you want to. Lots have felt it was money really spent. I’d say everyone receives the basics they’ve paid for, but some don’t find they get much more out of it. Hey ho!

WombatChocolate · 11/10/2022 19:53

NCT probably works best for those who have a ‘live and let live’ attitude. They don’t mind being with a range of people, which includes some who might live differently to themselves and have some different views to themselves. If this is very vexing to you, you might well find you are in a group with people you don t especially like and aren’t willing to live with. Some people quite simply find it easier to ‘rub-along’ whilst others have very fixed views about what they like and don’t like. Whether any kind of group of strangers works for an individual is subject to lots of things, but this basic personality thing is one of them.

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 20:10

IME, NCT were the last live and let live crowd going They radiated uptightness

Neverfullycharged · 11/10/2022 20:24

Your NCT group.

Not everybody’s.

I don’t find it difficult to accept some NCT groups are cliquey, don’t gel, have some people in them who are unkind.

So why are some refusing to accept some groups are mostly kind, supportive and respectful?

Mine isn’t perfect, i have felt judged, I have noticed a distinct leaning to the girls (we have a 4/2 girl/boy split) and sometimes it can become a bit competitive. But on balance my life is better for having these people in it.

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 20:26

Yes my NCT group were ghastly and cliquey that’s the nature of subjective opinion. It’s mine

Pearfacebanana · 11/10/2022 20:34

My NCT group was phenomenal. We are still friends 10 years on. Our class was feisty and opinionated and I love them. We've been on holiday together, through baby loss together, divorce and remarriages.

The course was hit and miss. Some bits good and empowering. Other bits crap. Either way it's worth doing it.

We also had a breastfeeding class with the breastapo, we were the woman's last ever class and I think we may have broken her when she insisted my friend pregnant with twins should sit and feed "all day" and that even if the mum "survived off McDonald's you will still produce perfect milk" she then got an interrogation off the senior police officer in our group as to how that was biologically possible. Loved it.

morechocolateneededtoday · 11/10/2022 20:47

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 20:26

Yes my NCT group were ghastly and cliquey that’s the nature of subjective opinion. It’s mine

Absolutely, but it can't be extrapolated to all women who choose to do the NCT course.

I don't doubt for a single second that there are women out there who are difficult to mix with, ones who are unkind, some that form cliques and some you simply don't want to spend time with. But just because some experience it, does not meal that the same dynamics apply in all groups

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 20:50

Just as your saintly,feisty and magnificent NCT cannot be extrapolated to be the norm @morechocolateneededtoday
We are all sharing the subjective experience we have had, some of which may or may not resonate with others

morechocolateneededtoday · 11/10/2022 20:57

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 20:50

Just as your saintly,feisty and magnificent NCT cannot be extrapolated to be the norm @morechocolateneededtoday
We are all sharing the subjective experience we have had, some of which may or may not resonate with others

Absolutely. Difference being I have constantly acknowledged how fortunate I was to have such a great group and have not suggested that all experiences will be like mine.... Whereas you decided to paint all of NCT with your experience

Sharing a subjective opinion is just that - stating your experience. Not generalising the rest of the country based on it

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 22:35

You have painted NCT your farrow & ball shade of effusive praise on the birth ball
And I can chose to paint my Any shade any colour of cold matte contempt I wish
You see that’s how it goes. You generalise from your experience and I generalise from my experience
Difference is I’m not asking you to revise or revoke your opinion. as it is of course yours however you seem to think you can berate me into admitting OH I’m soooo wrong, the NCT class is a wonderful warm empathic hub of bonhomie. You seem very sensitised to any criticism of NCT
How’s about you freely share your story, and I’ll freely share mine.

morechocolateneededtoday · 12/10/2022 06:16

Zone2NorthLondon · 11/10/2022 22:35

You have painted NCT your farrow & ball shade of effusive praise on the birth ball
And I can chose to paint my Any shade any colour of cold matte contempt I wish
You see that’s how it goes. You generalise from your experience and I generalise from my experience
Difference is I’m not asking you to revise or revoke your opinion. as it is of course yours however you seem to think you can berate me into admitting OH I’m soooo wrong, the NCT class is a wonderful warm empathic hub of bonhomie. You seem very sensitised to any criticism of NCT
How’s about you freely share your story, and I’ll freely share mine.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Just in case you failed to realise - there are more than 2 of you on this thread who have been critical of NCT and did not feel their course was good value. Big difference is all others shared their experience without making assumptions about those in other groups in the process.

The 2 of you extrapolated your experience to come to the conclusion that all women who do NCT are ‘competitive MC mums, near constant braying about their IG life’s and how much they’d given up to be a mom’.

I have never said revoke your opinion, just stop applying your judgements of the horrible women you encountered to others too

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/10/2022 06:40

You really need to stop instructing me to stop or curtail posting my NCT experience
Youre clearly too defensive to be objective about this.Evidently touchy about any criticism of NCT
You had a great experience, that is not the universal. I had a ghastly experience, that’s not the universal.
However I will continue to freely share my opinion without yea but, no but caveats from you. Rest assured , unlike you, I’ll not compel you to alter your posts to suit my pov,

Neverfullycharged · 12/10/2022 06:47

No one minds, ‘this was my experience / my NCT course was like this / this happened when I did NCT.’

But we do mind ‘this is what you can expect if you do NCT.’

@morechocolateneededtoday is not the defensive one here.

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/10/2022 06:55

Why the tetchy defensiveness of NCT? It’s permissible to have not enjoyed it
NCT is a big brand it doesn’t need fans buoying it up, defending it against any perceived attack
anyway I start work shortly so I’m offsky. All the fans can regroup to vigorously defend NCT and effuse about it

Purplefoxes · 12/10/2022 07:18

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/10/2022 06:55

Why the tetchy defensiveness of NCT? It’s permissible to have not enjoyed it
NCT is a big brand it doesn’t need fans buoying it up, defending it against any perceived attack
anyway I start work shortly so I’m offsky. All the fans can regroup to vigorously defend NCT and effuse about it

@Zone2NorthLondon haven't you figured it out? @WombatChocolate @morechocolateneededtoday and @Neverfullycharged clearly WORK for the NCT (or are the same person, different user names!) so of course if they are on the payroll they will never be able to accept anyone else's opinion of the NCT which is negative because they are very biased.. it just shows the Mafia culture they exist in really. You have a negative opinion of the NCT based on your experiences with it and you are shouted down by the NCT police and they try to discredit you. It's a free country, people are allowed to share opinions and experiences good and bad and that is ok, don't try to force people to retract their opinions just because you don't like what they said or it doesn't fit your narrative.

I'm sure they will continue to troll anyone posting a negative experience well after we've left but our points and experiences still stand, anyone reading can make their own mind up or find out for themselves! 😃

Have a good day at work! 👍

Neverfullycharged · 12/10/2022 07:21

I don’t work for the NCT, @Purplefoxes , and to be honest, if you attempted to be this sarcastic and bitter through the guise of ‘humour’ with your original group, I’m really not surprised at all you ran into problems with them.

Parker231 · 12/10/2022 07:26

I’ve just looked on the NCT website under feeding your baby. Still only promoting breast feeding. Same as when I had DC’s and contacted NCT about the course and said I would be bottle feeding- which they told me they don’t cover. The website says
How to get breastfeeding off to a good start
Understanding your baby's reflexes and cues
Understanding how breastfeeding works
Night feeds and sleeping
Expressing
How to tell that all is going well
Different positions for feeding and how to try them
Different challenges

morechocolateneededtoday · 12/10/2022 08:16

@Zone2NorthLondon @Purplefoxes you are 2 of many who have posted negative experiences with NCT. Ask yourselves why only your posts have been challenged and not the others. If you can’t see this, the problem lies with you.

Not only do I not work for NCT, I also haven’t recommended them to friends who have recently had children. A lot of smaller providers have started antenatal courses in my area (often midwives/ex midwives, a yoga teacher with interest in antenatal etc) since I had my children with a similar concept with regards to introducing and making friends but a much more balanced overview with regards to medical interventions and bottle feeding. All my friends who had their first in the last 3 years have gone to one of them and NCT in our area are now low in numbers. It has happened because of them pushing the natural ideology too far and they are to blame.

Porridgeislife · 12/10/2022 09:41

I did NCT in June. If you want maternity leave friends, NCT is good and our group is great.

If you want to learn about taking care of a baby or think you’ll have anything other than an uncomplicated vaginal birth and plan to breastfeed, look for independent/private courses ideally run by an ex midwife.

NCT was very scant on anything but vaginal birth & our course ended up 80% elective and emergency c-section. Our leader was pretty hopeless and had trained with NCT a long time ago, and didn’t appear to actually work with mums and babies in any capacity outside of NCT so had little current knowledge of our local birth centres/labour wards. It was really dull & the info nothing you couldn’t Google or watch on YouTube.

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/10/2022 22:24

I'll ask you about your strident visceral reaction to someone else NCT experience @morechocolateneededtoday
You’re completely over reacting. Why are you so touchy? What’s so intolerable to you about the disclosure that other people had a bad NCT experience?

morechocolateneededtoday · 13/10/2022 10:58

If you still are unable to grasp that I have no issue with anyone complaining about their poor experience, I suggest you go back to school to learn comprehension.

I have explained what part of your post caused offence time and time again - you have done a fantastic job of showing everyone how ignorant you are by not understanding this basic concept.

Zone2NorthLondon · 13/10/2022 17:37

You remain totally over invested in my opinion and seeking to curtail and minimize it. Resorting to petty name calling is the tactic of the desperate I’m afraid. I expect you’ll reply with some other put downs and pithy comments. Feel free after all you’re on a roll now @morechocolateneededtoday

morechocolateneededtoday · 13/10/2022 18:26

petty name calling is the tactic of the desperate I’m afraid.

Says the person who’s first post on the thread was how NCT is full of ‘competitive MC mums, near constant braying about their IG life’s and how much they’d given up to be a mom’

Petty name calling at its finest. Desperate indeed.

I rest my case

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/10/2022 19:19

You have called me names , made derisory comments. I haven’t reciprocated
You remain over invested in my posts, as I said, resorting to petty name calling
You remain unclear on the mn premise.op asked for an opinion I gave it. The op herself has no truck with my post. You however are in an aerated state about my posts. Over invested, overly vexed about someone else anecdotal recollection.

Swipe left for the next trending thread