@LittleAcorn20 it must still be difficult for you if DD only goes to sleep at 9pm
Ive followed this when my DD was born
www.goodreads.com/book/show/53611.The_No_Cry_Sleep_Solution?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Mo527NM0xs&rank=2
I’ll have to read it again cause I only remember the basics. If you want a good night sleep for baby and onwards toddler etc it’s very important to have a sleep routine established from the start. There is a pattern by age.
you can do that in the first 2 months or thereabouts, but I had noise around and bright light during the day, and quiet and dark at night, 3 daily naps during the day (spaced out more or less like the book says), then 2 then 1 around 1 year old till 3. And always went to bed at 7pm. We still do and she’s almost 4 now.
ofc she didn’t want to do as a said, but I knew for ex that movement made her sleep, so if she didn’t want to sleep in bed during the day, I’d pop her in the pram and walk with her. In 10min she she’d be asleep. Otherwise she’d sleep with a boob. Made it very difficult being stuck in bed 3 times a day then from 7, many many hours in bed for me. Had my iPad and lots of books…
sleep or not, we’d be in bed. Boob or walk during the day - best sleep aids. I preferred walking cause I could then go to a cafe and relax.
it has paid off immensely, me and my DH take her in turns to bed at night, we read 2 books (it was only one book from 1 until 2), then lights off. Sometimes she wants to chat a lot, tells me she is not sleepy etc. I’m firm and tell her she doesn’t have to sleep, just be quiet and lie down. If not I’ll walk out (we stay with her till she’s asleep). That works. Most of the time she’s asleep in 30mins (books and all), sometimes 1h. We go to bed before 7pm if we can.
it has made a huge difference to us, to “recover” and get some adult time and relax.
if i only had 1-2h to myself I’d be so much more stressed out, but now it’s very easy.
I can’t emphasise enough how hard is in the beginning, I’ve seen couples in my family who tried to maintain their social life, with a tiny baby, baby got no schedule at all, apart from trying to go to bed at a good time (sometimes not even that if they were out), and they struggled for years (no long unbroken sleep for child at night, waking up at random times, etc) and still do, 4 years on. But they are doing the same with the second baby :)) they decided they can go without good sleep.
I couldn’t and while the first year is very hard, it does get progressively easier from 2 months then to 6 months, 8 and 1 year. And it’s very easy now.
hope it helps someone as sleep issues are very common, but if you know there is a pattern and try to follow it, makes it easier.