Giving birth anxiety - C section declined

[Librababy3]

Hi all,

So today the hospital called me to discuss my reasons for a C-Section. The person I was spoke to was very dismissive and didn’t seem interested in my reasons. She pretty much declined my C section and I’m panicking so much, I’m seriously trying so hard not to break down

No judgements please - I am in no way looking for an “easy way” to give birth. I understand both come with risks, and there is no easy way.

I thought now, you could choose to have a C-section, if you wanted to? I’ve looked at soooo many forums and seen way too many horror stories of vaginal birth and people saying their C-section was much better (again, I know everyone is different)

Looking for some advice please. I’m seriously terrified and don’t know whether I should keep pushing for it

If they decline they have to refer you to a surgeon that will be happy to do the c-section. That's the nhs guidelines.

Yeah, I was about to same thing. If they have declined, you need to challenge them as you have a right to choose. How far along are you? I would also looking at complaint to PALs, this is your decision and if you are this distressed, whoever spoke to you is wrong for not taking that onboard.

They have to refer you to another consultant. I'm sorry you've come up against problems but they do have to allow your request - you might just have to jump through some hoops first.

How far along are you? I can really recommend hypnobirthing. We had a lady come to our house to do the sessions, it made me see birth as something not to be scared of and each session ended with watching a positive birth video. I went on to have a water birth with just gas and air and had an 11lb giant baby. I felt calm through nearly all of it, I think because I knew what was happening to my body and I could call upon the breathing and other techniques I learnt.
If the only reason for a C-section is because you're scared (not minimising your reasoning) then I'd really encourage you to private hypnobirthing. It's far better for you and the baby to have a vaginal birth.

Have you considered the pain relief? I had a very long labour with a few complications and ended up needing an EMCS but prior to that I was having a normal birth. The moment they gave me a epidural (for me personally) was amazing. I felt I could manage the pain and deliver quite ok with this. Also my recovery was hell from a c section. I couldn’t get up from seated or lying down position properly for 4 weeks +, was in lots of pain, needed to be proactive with pain relief.
So there is that side to consider.

Was the person you spoke to the consultant?

How far along are you?

Did she actually say you can't have one, or that they can't book one in now.

You should be referred onto a consultant who will do the c section.

Thank you everyone for responding and your kind words

sorry - I am 35 weeks today

@Boxofsockss hey there, as it’s my first baby, I don’t know what to expect. I wanted to do gas and air, but a lot of people told me I’d be begging for an epidural. My issue with that is not being able to feel myself pushing and needing forceps which is my ultimate fear!!! Truly sounds horrific. I’ve seen a lot of people on here that went for natural, had a stressful time with complications and needed an emergency C section in the end anyway. Which is why I’d rather have planned :(

@Twizbe hello :) I suppose she didn’t outright say “no, you can’t have one” but she said pretty much that it’s major op and I shouldn’t just be having one with no real medical need. Which I can agree with but I just feel like the process tends to be smoother but maybe I don’t know much. It’s my first baby but the amount of horror stories I’ve read about vaginal birth …. Jeeez.

im 35 weeks both. X

Ok so was this the appointment where they talk through the risks with you and was it a midwife or a consultant?

They do have to make sure you've understood the risks. I'm assuming you're physically low risk so they need to make sure you're giving informed consent.

Did she say there'd be another appointment or to contact them.

You can of course have a c section if you want one.

If it helps though. I've had 2 vaginal births and had wonderful experiences. I even started a thread with positive birth stories if you want to read that.

They have to refer you to someone who will do it.

However just as a positive birth experience, I was also really worried about having an epidural and then it leading to forceps/EMCS etc. I'm a first tome mum and gave birth 7 weeks ago. Went into Labour the day before my due date, waters went at 10am, contractions started at 1pm, at the hospital and admitted by 8.30pm when I was 7cm. Gas and air and baby born at 12.30am - no tears or grazes.

However if you want a C-section then push for it, ask for another appointment. This is your birth, your body, your baby and your right!

You have the right to choose a c section if you want one. You don't have to have a medical need - wanting to avoid forceps is an excellent reason to choose one, imo.

If your current doctor won't do it, ask to be transferred to another one who will. You do not have to consent to a vaginal birth if you don't want one. You don't have to reach any kind of "acceptability" bar or have a "good enough" reason.

I had a vaginal birth after induction and it was fine. You tend to only hear about the horror stories rather than the straight forward births.
I had diamorphine in the first stage of labour then paracetamol and gas and air in the 2nd stage.
I had no tears and the pain wasn't as bad as I thought.

I initially wanted a section this time as I was worried about tearing and pain but I've changed my mind and I'm going for vaginal again. Mainly because I don't want to stay on the horrible Post barely ward. Baby is predicted to be similar size to DS1 so I should be able to get her out. Im getting induced again and I've made it clear that I do not want instrumental delivery and I would rather have a section if it's going that way.
I don't want an epidural because I want to leave ASAP from labour ward. However when I had DS1 I couldn't feel all of my contractions so the midwife told me whe to push. So if you that's something you're worried about with an epidural, the midwife will tell you when to push.

I'm not trying to tell you not to have a section btw, just saying that vaginal births aren't always a horror story.

@Librababy3 I can't help with the c-section but, just saw your post about forceps and want to reassure you on that point. I had a forceps birth with episiotomy under a spinal and really it was fine, the midwife told me when to push and talked me through everything. I also had very little issues with recovery, everything healed quickly and with very little pain.

Definitely push for a section if you want one, but please don't be scared of an assisted birth.

@Twizbe yeah that’s right, I spoke to my midwife last week who was very understanding and she referred me to this person who I believe works in Obstetrics at the hospital so I think she was a doctor. She didn’t even really speak about the risks, she just seemed like she wanted to get me off the phone.

In terms of risk, I am not sure. I’m my maternity notes, they ticked low risk and high risk (weird), I think it was initially low but when my blood tests showed Low Papp-a, they ticked high. Though all my extra scans are going well so I believe it’s low risk overall.

TMI - I am suffering quite badly with Thrush which I am embarrassed about. Had it since 5 weeks and cannot shift it. All my swabs have come back as Thrush but I have it quite bad so my V is very irritated as it is. Can’t imagine tearing on top of that.

& yes please!!! I’d love to see, thank you

@Willbe2under2 thank you! I suppose maybe it’s one of those things that sounds worse than it is? I hope!!

Thank you everyone!! I really appreciate it

If you’re set on a c-section then definitely challenge it. However, I’m another advocate for hypnobirthing. Even though I didn’t have the birth I was quite hoping for (ventouse and a tear due to baby distress), I can honestly say with my hypnobirthing techniques and knowledge it was the most incredible experience I’ve had. I had only gas & air and with the right breathing, using the gas & air properly, for me it was the only pain relief I needed and the pushing actually wasn’t painful at all. In fact, I wouldn’t say any of it was painful per se, more like an endurance test. I’d recommend looking up the Positive Birth Company; they have a hypnobirthing course and access to a private Facebook page where they only allow positive experiences to be shared (keep in mind that Mumsnet typically has the horror stories but there are far more births that will be positive). They also tell you what your ‘rights’ are and what the NICE guidelines recommend.

You have the right to choose, so if you feel a C-section will be best for you then advocate for it.

I had an induction (balloon, they broke my waters and then drip) and had an epidural around 6 centimetres. I was happy on gas and air but it got to the point I was so tired and an epidural gave me the break my body needed. Even had a nap!

When it came to pushing, I couldn't feel anything but the midwives told me when to push. I felt when I was pushing but not any contractions.

My DD ended up being stuck with shoulder dystocia so ultimately ended up in a theatre, where they topped up my epidural. I had an episiotomy along with forceps and it was fine.

The thought of forceps always horrified me (massive salad tongs up there-!!) but the reality was that I didn't even know they were there.

Thank you both !! It’s something I’m really going to have to think about. I’m so bad for always imagining the worst! I need to decide quick though as I’m due in less than 5 weeks 😀

Ultimately its your choice, but just wanted to let you know that I also had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery with my first. I'm hoping I can do the same second time around. As mentioned previously, you do hear more about the times it goes wrong. I had a water birth, my husband was my birth partner and I had a little bit of gas and air right at the end. It did hurt, but on the plus side we went home the same day and I was walking around immediately after delivery, so I didn't need the recovery time you would for a c-section. Again, it's your choice, don't feel pushed to do one or the other x

They have to refer you to a doctor who will give you a c section. You will need to stand firm. You have valid reasons.

Hi op, just wanted to say my first born was back to back an ended up needing forceps, Iv since given birth twice with no pain relief and no complications. I'm about the same in my current pregnancy as you are and I am anxious don't get me wrong you always are but the forceps delivery wasn't that bad that I can remember neither did it put me off !

I have had both a cs and a VBAC. For me the VBAC was much easier and the labour was ok despite being 12 hours long.
If I was in your position I would try to give birth unless I went over due and they wanted to induce me. If there was any mention of induction I would want a cs instead.
with my first I went through all the painkiller options. With my second I had pethedine and gas and air. a hot water bottle worked great for me but they wouldn’t refill it

I’ve had a vb using hypnobirthing, and a cs. For me the vb was not a good experience, to put it extremely mildly, and came with an extended recovery time. The cs was wonderful in comparison, with an easy recovery.

Look up birthrights

You are entitled to your birth choice

Ask for a second consultant .

I will be going through the same as I will not be doing anything other than a section .

Wish you luck and strength!!