Giving birth anxiety - C section declined

[Librababy3]

Hi all,

So today the hospital called me to discuss my reasons for a C-Section. The person I was spoke to was very dismissive and didn’t seem interested in my reasons. She pretty much declined my C section and I’m panicking so much, I’m seriously trying so hard not to break down

No judgements please - I am in no way looking for an “easy way” to give birth. I understand both come with risks, and there is no easy way.

I thought now, you could choose to have a C-section, if you wanted to? I’ve looked at soooo many forums and seen way too many horror stories of vaginal birth and people saying their C-section was much better (again, I know everyone is different)

Looking for some advice please. I’m seriously terrified and don’t know whether I should keep pushing for it

Why are you shocked women are able to make decisions about their own bodies?

ELCS is better than an assisted delivery and an EMCS. In many hospitals the odds are that most women will be either EMCS or assisted delivery, therefore it's better long term for an elective in many cases.

Costs to the NHS are also lower in the long run when you take into account the maternal health risks with assisted deliveries and EMCS recovery.

Also the actual cost different is minimal between vaginal birth and c section with the NHS anyway

I understand how you are feeling. I was TERRIFIED of giving birth. I left it too late to do a course or anything but I bought a hypno birthing book with a MPV file you could download in desperation.

Honestly, it was the best thing - calmed me right down and I went from being frightened to actually looking forward to giving birth. In part understanding the stages of labour helped so I could identify the transitions and not panic. I couldn't apply all of the stuff as I was induced early but it really did help in keeping me calm. As it turns out I had a failed epidural, forceps and an episiotomy and despite all that it still wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Intense but I my body seemed to know what it was doing and the pain is a functional pain and he was a big baby. I was sore afterwards but my recovery was fairly rapid. My second birth was an emergency c section as she had flipped over and and I have to say that having done both I would have preferred a vaginal birth as the recovery was much longer (for me anyway).

Wishing you all the best of luck.

Thank you everyone!! Xx

I felt the same as you and told my consultant at my 24 week appointment that I am considering a c section. She was not very supportive at all, she said something along the lines of why don’t I just have an epidural and they will fix me up if I tear… she sent me away with a leaflet highlighting the risks to think about. At my next appointment at 28 weeks I said I have thought about all the risks and still want to have a c section… and she just booked it in without any further for 39 weeks. If she refused it I would have referred to the Nice guidance and ask her to refer me to another consultant who will sign it off. You should not be refused unless there are very serious risks due to your existing health issues. Good luck 🤞

It sounds like you have tokophobia.
as a midwife you can 100% choose to have a c section aslong as you are aware of all risks and benefits to make an informed decision.
call your midwife and ask to be referred to another consultant they should offer pre birth counselling prior to this and if you still want a c section they should book you in. It’s your choice no one else’s.

I had an appointment today with about my elective C-section and I had the total opposite experience. I don't have any medical reasons, just mentioned I'm anxious about vaginal birth. She went through all the risks for both C-section and vaginal birth and answered all my questions and will set up a date for the section.
I would ask for a different consultant. I've been told it's my choice and I can choose either way.

The nhs can be weird about birth. I said I wanted an epidural and the nurse checking me in was really snippy about it 'we don't just give them out to everyone you know' (she was not joking).

I ended up having an emergency c section under general anesthetic so it didn't matter in the end but it really stressed me out.

Be firm about what you want and don't let them neg you. Bring a birthing partner with you to the actual birth too (your partner or someone else) so they can be firm on your behalf if needed.

I have given birth twice and first was an epidural and the midwife told me when to push. The second was an induction and I had gas and air. I cannot remember some of it as of the gas and air but all I remember is my body pushing for me without me feeling I could stop it.

I was scared but they did a good job in delivery of keeping me relaxed.

Just want to double down on what @Numbat2022 said. I had clinical pre-natal anxiety (had to see a special psychiatrist once a week) and anything hypnobirthing related sent me into a panic attack. The Positive Birth book triggered a panic attack so bad it made me vomit uncontrollably and DH had to take it of me and throw it out as I found it so unbearably upsetting.

Lots of people recommended it to me in a well meaning way, but it actually made things 100 times worse.

Anyway, DS turned out to be breech, so I had an ELCS and it was lovely. Didn't hurt at all. Keep pushing and keep escalating.

Generally, it’s only the horror stories you hear online not the vast majority that go perfectly normally. Because I suppose it’s not worth nothing something uneventful and normal and it might seem braggy to post it! I’ve found this thread useful as I am pregnant with my second and having had an emcs with my first a vaginal birth is a bit unknown to me.

For my part, I had a failed induction (just didn’t work, not traumatic or anything) and after 24 hours I had an emcs. It was all very straightforward I was up walking later that day, very little pain and recovered fine. So if you choose a c sec I hope you have a similar experience!

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192

here are the nice guidelines. Read them. Point them out to the hospital.

you should have the birth you choose

One of the nicest things about a natural birth is that your body is suddenly yours again. You can sit up without effort, you can lie on your tummy without rolling over. The birth pangs cease immediately. C sections can bring horrors of their own.

You are being frightened by awful stories -i will never understand why women terrorise young first time mother's with ghastly tales of the labour ward. The vast majority of women do not have nasty experiences and even if they did why would they think that major surgery would be better?

It is entirely up to you what kind of delivery you have but don't be scared into making a choice.

@Librababy3 hey op I very much understand your fear of birth especially as you seem to have been exposed to a few horror stories. But please know that the horror stories are not the norm, and birth can be a really positive experience. I'd really recommend the positive birth company hypnobirthing course. It's honestly incredibly informative and will really clue you up on what to expect from labour and birth - it's only £39 and it's so so worth the money, also easy to do as all online. A lot of traumatic births happen due to intervention that is unnecessary. The course will teach you how to manage the experience and when to ask for more support etc.

Also as others have said, there is a lot of pain relief options available if needed. I ended up having an epidural and forceps but healed completely fine and had a positive experience overall..not all forceps are huge, mine were tiny and baby was almost out but they just helped at the end. They aren't all scary huge things!

Best of luck, whatever happens. You can do this x

OP, I had two vaginal deliveries, no epidural and didn’t tear with either. And one of mine was over 8lb!

People like sharing their horror stories, or doesn’t mean it’s the norm.

Op I swear people only every share the negative sides of giving birth when they share there experiences. I've given birth 3 times now with no pain relief at all I was offered everything and refused everything.

I had my first baby this year, I had an elective C-section, it was approved and booked in before my 20 week scan.
You do have the right to request to give birth by ELCS.
Of my NCT group 5 out of 7 first time mums had a C-section, 4 were EMCS, the other 2 had forceps. I preferred to have a planned C-section, at least I knew when it would be and that I would avoid tearing, which was important to me.

They cannot 'decline', she must refer you to another consultant as per NHS guidelines. You do not need a medical reason, you have a right to one if you want one. If you want a c-section stick to your guns.

You don’t know what you’re talking about

Yes I do.

Thanks.