devastated :(

[crying2]

Sorry if anyone thinks I’m a horrible person here

ive got a 9 month old and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again

I’m so upset I don’t want another baby get my partner is happy but I’m so heartbroken

i don’t want another baby yet 😭 I’m so gutted

OP, you need to think about the big picture here.

You don't want another baby right now.

If you continue this pregnancy and this relationship, your life is about to get much harder and the chances that you end up resenting your bf and a poor innocent baby. No child deserves that.

If you terminate, you may well lose your boyfriend. But there are lots of men out there, many of whom aren't dicks who would pressure you into continuing a pregnancy against your wishes.

Honestly OP it would be so much better to terminate and lose the relationship than keep the pregnancy and regret it.

You have a tough choice to make then, both choices will involve compromise. You have a partner and a 9 month old, so you can have an abortion and potentially break up your family, or you can continue with the pregnancy, although timing is not ideal. It sounds rough now but I'm sure you'll get used to the idea and even be happy if the end that you continued

You have months to adjust until the baby is due - also when you have kids close in age, they are easier to deal with, once you get over the early years. It is a lot easier to deal with a 7yo and an 8yo rather than an 8yo and a 4yo who will have very different needs.

Why do people keep trying to convince the OP that she should keep this pregnancy when she's said multiple times that she does not want this baby?

Why are you so for termination? How about her other child and her partner? It's not as simple as she doesn't want it, get rid.

If you don't want another baby, you don't have to.

The reason for wanting a larger age gap is I want to enjoy my son and all of his firsts for longer. I’d like him to be slightly more independent and understand some things as I’ll have to have another c section so at 18months old he won’t really understand I can’t play with him or pick him up etc

i just feel I’d struggle to cope with this little of an age gap. I’d love another baby just not yet

It absolutely is that simple. If she doesn't want to have another baby right now, then of course she should terminate. Her other child and her partner are irrelevant, it is her body and her opinion is the only one that matters.

Whatever you decide it has to be your decision. What I will say is you might think you won't cope but you will. Your not alone, and it's amazing your partner is supportive. Take a breath and Give the GP a ring and speak to someone.

Also are suffering with any ptsd or post natal that can effect your emotions on top of all your hormones doing gymnastics. And last thing it never feels ideal or the right time to have a baby or another one but more often than not everything works out in the end

That is horrible, manipulative behaviour. I'd suggest that splitting may well become an option for you based on that behaviour alone. How dare he try and force a decision you really don't want through emotional blackmail?

This may be your last opportunity to have another child if this is make or break for you and your partner

I was in a similar situation with twin girls when I found out I was pregnant for a second time. I was in my early/mid-twenties and wasn't best pleased. In fact I seriously considered a termination but it wasn't just my baby and he would never have forgiven me. I still wasn't happy with it but my marriage was important to me. I married for love and I didn't want to be with anybody else. I still don't, 20 years later.

It sounds like your boyfriend is manipulating you

OP this was me a few months back. Only I was told I couldn’t get pregnant again which was perfectly fine with me as we had completed our family. My youngest is 8. I cried for weeks while going back and forth with what to do. My DH was too afraid to say whether or not he was happy about it as he didn’t want to sway my decision. It just made me feel more alone. I found out at 6 weeks and we didn’t decide until 3 weeks later to definitely go ahead with it. It ended up being the right choice for us, even though I know how hard it’s going to be. Just give yourself time to wrap your head around it. You don’t have to make a decision straight away.

Very very selfish attitude. Are you single and without children?

He won’t be getting an abortion though because he’s not pregnant.
If you don’t want another baby (and I don’t blame) you then you have options

This is all true but it's not only her baby and her partner has made it very clear that he wants the child. It wasn't an accident, it was careless which could and did lead to pregnancy

No, I'm happily married with two children. Nothing has made me more strongly pro choice than pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood.

I agree that he can state an opinion but it’s her body and her decision. It also sounds like her is trying coerce her into continuing a pregnancy she doesn’t want.

Also married with 2 children and I support OPs right to choose

Adding to the ‘married with kid/s’ and completely agree with ‘her body, her choice’

OP I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful. You’re the one who’ll have to go through pregnancy, childbirth, the vast majority of the very early days and (this is admittedly an assumption but) probably the majority of childcare thereafter and forever more. If this isn’t what you want, it’s your right to choose to end this pregnancy now. It’s hard when your partner doesn’t agree but it is what it is.

Op, your boyfriend is pressuring you and manipulating you.

That is not a good, kind, supportive partner. Is he abusive in other ways?

Let's say you were to have this baby, would you still want to be with him after him pressuring you in this way?

Do you see this as a very long term relationship.

I'll tell you what I see happening, as an outsider. You will go along with what he wants, you'll have this baby way too soon. And you'll split up anyway. Leaving you holding 2 babies alone.

Have the termination, and ditch the dick head.

I’m married and have two dcs close in age.

I fully support the OP making whatever decision is right for her, incl having an abortion.
She is the one whose future will be heavily impacted. The one who will be pregnant , give birth, look after the dcs. She is the one who will be looking after the dcs if they split (which is unfortunately likely because if she has an abortion, her DP won’t be happy. If she doesn’t, she’ll be the one shouldering all the work and getting resentful).
If motherhood has taught me anything, it’s that the woman should have the last word.

I’m always careful about the ‘oh it will work out in the end’.
because no it doesn’t always work out.

Look at the threads I here with women acknowledging that becoming a mum/having another child was the wrong decision for them?
Look at the impact that PND has on both the mother and the child. I had ONS and it affected my bind with dc. Even now that dc is a young adult, had despite all the efforts I put in, I still feel we never repaired that relationship to have what I have with my other dc. So I wouldn’t say ‘it worked out in the end’.

im not even going into the ptsd stuff.

I really dont think that encouraging women to have children even though it feels wrong for them to do so is right. Too many risks bith fur the mum and child and basically relying on hormones to make it all right isn’t the right way to approach becoming a parent