My first child was born in secret when I was 14, I then had my 2nd and 3rd when I was 17 and 20.
dc1 was a result of sexual abuse.
Young mums get a lot of stick, the school gates can be hard in your early 20s with mums in their 30s and 40s, they probably don’t judge, but I always felt they did.
Im 32 now, I have my own very successful business, which I started when I was 27.
Before I started the business, I privately rented, until then I had no chance of ever owning my own home.
And before I started the business, I worried.
Worried because I would forever be renting, no chance of ever leaving anything for the kids, no chance to give my children some financial security when they’re adults.
I felt bad when my children were younger because their friends seemed to have the best of everything, holidays, the latest craze, great Xmas gifts.
I know all of these things are trivial, and ultimately all a child really needs is love and guidance so that they can be prepared to make the best of their lives when they’re adults.
But, as a parent, you naturally want the best of everything for your dc, and when you can’t give it to them you will also very naturally feel bad, and that does make it difficult to parent.
From your post, I would say be prepared for your Boyfriend to not be on the scene. You may have little income, and you will cope.
When dc1 was born, I wasn’t entitled to tax credits because the minimum age to claim was 16.
I went for 18months supporting him with £18.10 a week, granted I still lived at home, but I at least wanted to prove that I was trying to take responsibility, so food, clothes, nappies etc, anything for him was with my £18.10 child benefit.
I still remember that figure, and I literally walked to the bank to take out and even that 10p was important, but I did manage.
But be prepared to not be able to afford your child the “best”
Children are lovely, they do bring a lot of happiness, but you will have to accept that they also bring a lot PITA moments and it isn’t all happiness, you have to accept the downs that come with it.
You also need to think, they aren’t babies forever, sounds obvious. But when I teen mum, I couldn’t really see past the very real fact that one day (and quite quickly) they become young people and then adults.
Ultimately OP the decision is yours, and yours alone, but one thing I will say is that you really need to forget about thinking having a baby will be good for your mental health, that shouldn’t even come in to the reason why you continue the pregnancy (or not) you need to think about what you are going to do for the things you can and cannot do for the baby, because really, the child is more important than you.
And if your mental health is bad now, you are at risk of pre and post natal depression, that coupled with the fact that your child may not have an active father around would probably make your mental health worse.
As much as I love my children, and if I was given the choice, I definitely would have waited to gain some financial and emotional security before having them.
I am incredibly lucky that I have the financial security now, but really although possible, its not the likely situation.
Emotionally I am a mess, and honestly, most of that is because of everything said above.