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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is a surprise worth it?

113 replies

CJones11 · 31/07/2022 11:45

I'm pregnant with my second baby. I found out the sex of my first because I was hoping for a boy and had no patience. This time around, I thought I wanted a surprise but I'm finding myself looking for clues on the scan, asking others for their opinion and thinking about finding out during my 20 week scan🙈
What are the benefits of not finding out? How did you feel when your baby was born or was it hard to find neutrals?

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ItsDangerousInKingsmarkham · 01/08/2022 18:03

I've had 3 surprises and it was absolutely amazing each time. There are very few things in life that are totally out of your control and unknown, and the sex of each baby was one of those things. Finding out at the moment of their birth was so, so special, I burst into tears (of joy) each time.

bakewellbride · 01/08/2022 19:03

I had a surprise and it was incredible! Dh told me the baby was a girl and it was amazing.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 01/08/2022 19:06

Its a suprise whether at 20 weeks or 40 weeks 🤷🏼‍♀️

turquoise1988 · 01/08/2022 19:43

It would not surprise me in the slightest if there was some sort of correlation between the amount that people share news on social media and whether they find out the sex or not. Regardless if they have a 'gender reveal' party or not, posting a picture of the scan with a corresponding pink or blue outfit seems to be a bit of a thing these days.

I feel like I blame social media for everything these days 😂 and obviously there will be people along in a minute to say "I don't use social media but I found out the gender" or vice versa.

Can't help thinking that there's some sort of link though.

Louise0701 · 01/08/2022 19:46

@turquoise1988 I agree with you.

Ohexcellent · 01/08/2022 20:19

@turquoise1988 I’d be quite interested to see those statistics too actually 🤣
Each to their own and all that 🤷🏻‍♀️ But it’s not my thing at all 😊

anotherscroller · 01/08/2022 20:28

greenerfingers · 01/08/2022 16:57

Agree with a PP it's still a surprise whether now or at birth. My first I waited for a surprise and was really looking forward to it. After a really long and physically draining labour I was so out of it when I was handed my son and told don't you want to know what it is? I really was so out of it there was no tadaa moment. I think it really depends on your circumstances whether you'll get that magic moment or not. In retrospect I'd have had that moment more in the scan and would have really connected to him more in a personal way during the pregnancy but at the same time I loved not knowing and always wondering what he was. Just sad I never got that magic moment in the end 😂. So yes waiting doesn't mean you'll get a big surprise, it may just be a one worded nod of relief the baby and you are ok and that's it.

As a by stander to family who often find out what they are having I do feel it makes it a little anticlimactic when the baby announcement is made. The joy of the baby is of course that but that moment of finding out gender is removed. As a parent I can't imagine that being any different knowing or not knowing but as an aunt/uncle/grandparent I think it is.

Me too.
i was too drained for the “it’s a girl!” moment. It wasn’t exciting how I had imagined. Couldn’t care less one way or the other!
next time I think I’ll find out.

anotherscroller · 01/08/2022 20:30

i also agree re: it’s better to keep it between the couple! But very difficult to accidentally not slip he or she

Smogtopia · 01/08/2022 21:29

@makingabebe please update us on what you have! Wishing you a smooth c section

limitededitionbarbie · 01/08/2022 23:31

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 01/08/2022 19:06

Its a suprise whether at 20 weeks or 40 weeks 🤷🏼‍♀️

That's so true I just never thought about it like that!

ItsDangerousInKingsmarkham · 02/08/2022 07:20

It may be a surprise at 20 or 40 weeks but it's a different kind of experience I think. It's ok to have a preference for one or the other (or not) but for me the 40 week surprises were absolutely magical. The fact it was DH telling me, the fact the baby was here and I was meeting them fully in that moment, the excitement of everyone waiting to hear. I had IVF and c sections so a lot of the rest of it felt quite controlled - it was nice to have something that I didn't know about, if that makes sense.

Good luck OP!

dittymama · 03/08/2022 10:26

I have to be that person, I don't use social media but HAD to find out. I was simply impatient with my first, and my second I was absolutely convinced I knew the gender (I didn't, I was wrong). we don't plan for a 3rd but I wouldn't find out, they would be a surprise all around!

Onehappymom38 · 05/08/2022 21:49

I found out the sex of my first two (both girls) for my third baby I kept it a surprise ( even though I figured it was a girl, which it was). I actually enjoyed not really knowing and it was great finding out right after the birth. I didn't really worry about neutrals, I just bought a bunch of girl things because I was convinced that's what I was having lol but if I had a boy I would have been in trouble.

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