Navigating pregnancy after loss thread 4!

[arianasky]

Hello ladies though I'd start a new thread, I'll tag who I am remember I'm sorry if I've forgot anyone...

@Skl2021 @Cruz86 @flowergarden16 @aesgriff @Sassy144 @Arwen7 @Bridgey8

Thank you @calimc83 💙 I'll be honest I have I really struggled up until the 20 week scan but then I actually found the scans more enjoyable after that and not as anxiety inducing. Obviously I still have days when I panic for example from 28 weeks I've had diarrhoea every day and that petrified me at first thinking it was a sign of early labour and I've worried over twinges and things but on the whole I'm not as bad as I was, I hope the same can happen for you 💕

@Bridgey8 so so sweet 🥺🤍 hope you’re having the best time with your little bundle xx

@Cruz86 well I wasnt happy with my last appointment. Apparently he's gone to over 50th centile now from 3rd. He was breech in the scan like definitely I double checked with the sonographer and his head was up in my ribs as she was scanning up there. Then had consultant appointment straight after who said oh growths great and he's head down so see you next week. I then argued with her saying he's definitely breech and she just said well it's wrote head down here so we will see next week. IL be 38 weeks then and still no plan. Im was so annoyed if I need a section it will all be at once. X

@Skl2021 I had a very late breech presentation too - spent the last 10 days of that pregnancy in tears... I just really minded it being taken out of my hands, I think. And found it really odd when we went to the clinic and were just presented with a birthday for our baby - like where's the surprise?! Section was totally fine, and gosh I remember that pressure of having the head under your rib cage. Mega uncomfortable 😳

@barneymcgroo that's what's getting to me IV never had a section and I want to be ready not for it to be sprung on me as I'm nearly 38 weeks. I have other kids at home that need to be planned around and he has been breech every other week since 30 weeks and I just feel like I'm being fobbed off. Then for that to happen last week after the scan and the consultant to just pass me off saying he's not breech just topped it off. Then I got a letter for a telephone anaesthetist appointment. Like what the hell how can they assess me over the phone?! Like 4 days before I'm due. I'm so stressed with everything. And yes the pain in ribs is excruciating. I'm having to take breaks and lay down every so often as I could cry with the pain and it's the only relief. Sorry for the rant I'm heavy hormonal and fed up 😭 x

Can't believe he's still flipping! Infuriating to be fobbed off by the consultant like that - I hated the whole lead up to the section, though I promise the actual section was fine. They also scanned me on the morning of it, just in case he'd flipped right way round - would have then I think induced if so.
I hope you're okay - if you've not had a section before, there are heaps of boards on mn for all the things to bring to hospital, so do have a read. My tip was to not try to engage your tummy muscles at all (I know, sounds obvious) for at least 6 weeks after - when getting out of bed, push yourself onto your front with your hands, then push yourself up.
I had the consultant a few weeks ago, and she was also Most Unhelpful - just wanted to point out all the things that could go wrong with VBAC, rather than being at all supportive of my preferences.
Sending big hugs - it will be fine!
X

@Skl2021 how weird is that!? How frustrating that the consultant has just brushed that off! 🙄 hope you're ok x

@barneymcgroo knowing my luck the way things are going he would have moved again and I really don't want an induction after my last one. So I'm running out of options. Just want it over and done with now. Yes I have read a few posts about c sections just incase it comes to that so I'm not totally clueless! Yes I'm not to keen on consultants sorry yours isn't very helpful either! X

@arianasky ino I double checked with the sonographer to make sure! And she was scanning way up into my ribs so I knew he was 🤦 the things that annoyed me was if I went into labour he's not in the right position and could be an emergency section. Guess I'm waiting until Wednesday to see where I go now and hope nothing happens. X

Argh, it's so frustrating! I slightly wished I'd waited until I'd gone into labour before having the section - given him as much time as possible to turn, no idea whether that's actually a good idea though...
Will keep fingers and toes crossed for you, and let us know on Wednesday where you're at.

@Skl2021 How frustrating for you! I hope everything goes well for you and baby takes the right position for the birth you want! 🤞 not long to go!

I moved my growth scan form 26th to yesterday as I'm so impatient 😀 Baby is measuring bigger than average, weighing 5lb5oz at 33 weeks - I really hope that's the case!! 🤞He is also head down, but not engaged what the sonographer said, he must have moved couple of days ago.
My emotions are all over the place, I'm so sad because I feel like I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy and now it's nearly over and I am going to miss my bump so much and all the movements despite how hard it has been! But I also can't wait to have this baby, 6 weeks to go!

I was also asked where I would like to give birth at my midwife app last week, originally I said labour ward as I don't want to take any chances of something going wrong and there wouldn't be help on time, however the midwife mentioned that there is a birthing centre attached to the maternity unit, and of what she told us it's all I want, calm atmosphere, pool, but then there is the worry of something going wrong and doctors not arriving on time! What is your plan if you are nearing due date and have no other complications and are allowed to choose?

At my hospital there's a labour ward and a midwife led unit - literally 2 mins away. In 2020 I had my son in labour ward - was mid lockdown, so not a lot of choice, and frankly was just pleased my husband was allowed in. It was a VBAC, so they tried to come and put a cannula in, but I growled at the anaesthetist and they went away. All very straightforward, and discharged 6 hrs later.
This time I'm hoping for the midwife unit and the pool if possible. At my meeting with the consultant she was incredibly negative about this - saying it could be catastrophic if anything went wrong (risk of uterine rupture is what they're worried about). I've done my research, and having had one previous VBAC, my chances are good. So if I go into labour naturally, and everything's looking good, I'm going to head to the midwife unit and hope for the best. I spoke to my midwife about it, and she was very supportive - it's just round the corner from labour ward, so if anything does go wrong I can be whisked round in a jiffy. They can monitor in the water with a handheld Doppler. And from what I've read, an experienced midwife is more likely to be able to spot the signs of uterine rupture sooner than constant monitoring. I managed with gas and air last time, and fingers crossed I do again.
There's a lot that's up in the air, but that's my ideal.

I read the positive birth book before my last one - found a lot of it very helpful, talking about quiet and calm places being helpful. There are also loads of videos online. I think I needed to hear that VBAC was possible, as again, the consultant just highlighted the risks. I know they have to, but didn't feel amazingly encouraged to go for it!

Anyway, that's my plan. Totally aware that it can all go out the window, but encouraged that I've done it before. I know every birth is different though, so open to anything!

Have a chat with the midwife again @sunnyd67. You can be flexible - if everything seems to be going okay, then head to the midwife unit etc, and find out how long to transfer between the two.

Sorry for long reply, and hope your big baby isn't weighing you down too much! Feeling very heavy these last weeks...

@Skl2021 how frustrating you'd think the consultant would have double checked maybe rang the sonographer department to see if they made a mistake on your notes 🙄 have everyone crossed for Wednesday for you and that little one has turned 🙏🏻

@Skl2021 I have had the same experience earlier on in pregnancy so not as critical but the baby was breech and they said it and I saw the head up by my ribs....and then on the notes "cephalic"

It's as if its pre programmed and they forgot to change it!

@sunnyd67 I hope so too 🤦 wow what a good weight for 33 weeks!! I'd say try the maternity unit first and like u said it's right next to it if u needed any extra help. I also feel like I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy and will regret it as it's my last 😣 x
@arianasky the sonographer is literally two doors down she could have gone and knocked 😂🤦 felt like doing it myself. All the rooms are next to each other!!! Thanks 🙌🤞 x
@Annny27 why would they even do that like what is the point?! Crazy isn't it!! X

Hi all. I’ve been reading along and so happy for you all especially those that are close to the end! Im feeling so sick with anxiety again 😩. I had my scan 2 weeks ago and I was 6+1 with a healthy heartbeat but now I feel like all my symptoms have disappeared and am worried I’ve had another MMC. I called my EPU and asked if they would scan again but they told me no despite 2 previous MMC. I’ve booked a private scan for tomorrow morning (my birthday!) and I’m absolutely dreading it. Anyone on here symptomless pg and been ok? 😩 trying to tell myself a heartbeat was a great sign.

@Mrs173 I was symptomless with my two first pregnancies until about 16 weeks - then suddenly got boobs...
Turns out my mother had also had no symptoms at all, so I suppose I count myself lucky as I wasn't chucking up every morning, but you end up trying to second guess absolutely everything, don't you?!
Having seen a heartbeat is a great sign, and hopefully tomorrow's scan will reassure you. Fingers crossed and sending hugs.

@barneymcgroo thanks for replying. TTC and pregnancy after loss is so awful I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! I’ve never been an anxious person but am symptom checking constantly now and just feel so worried. I can’t bear to go through it all again but just can’t imagine hearing good news now.

good to know you and your mother were the same. I’m pretty tired and that’s about it!

Ladies - did any of you opt to pay privately for the NIPT. I want to but I just don't know which test to go for? There seem to be so many different options. I can't decide! 🙈 x

@Mrs173 I wish you good luck for tomorrows scan and keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞

@barneymcgroo @Skl2021 thank you for your replies, I feel so clueless when it comes to birth and what I want, I shall do more research. I don't even know what I want, I wanted to have a water birth, I still do, but thinking I want my partner close to me as well, but will he be able to support me the way I want I'm not sure.

@sunnyd67 thank you. I literally feel so ill with anxiety about it all!

i would REALLLLYYYY suggest you buying the positive birthing company hypnobirthing package to help you be fully informed for all your birth choices. It’s nothing weird if you haven’t heard or done hypnobirthing before. It’s all science and advocating for yourself. My husband was skepticL and we did it before our daughter was born and we are so so glad we did. I had a fantastic birth and my husband didn’t feel like a spare part. It’s great for realising that even if things don’t go as you “planned” you can be informed about every eventuality including c sections and can make a just in case plan for this too.

Hi @calimc83 I did the harmony test at 16 weeks

Has anyone else got PGP? I've got a sore type pain on the bottom of my pubic bone and and the hip (at the base of my bum!) which isn't super painful but is sore. Assuming it's PGP?

@flowergarden16 thank you! Did your results come back relatively quickly? @mummatara thinking of you tomorrow lovely, everything crossed for you xx

@calimc83 yes in five days x was an anxious wait and my clinic calls you to say results are in and tell you them which I found stressful but everything was less than a 1 in 50000 chance which I found reassuring as I was 36 when I conceived x

@calimc83 thanks lovely I'm absolutely crapping it but at least I'll have some answers 🤞🏼 well hopefully anyway!

@Mrs173 How did your scan go?