Due July 2022 (thread 5)

[Lianna93]

Baby Calendar 🧡 Please add your names & keep it going 🥰

1st -
2nd -
3rd -
4th -
5th - Lianna93💗
6th -
7th -
8th -
9th -
10th -
11th -
12th -
13th -
14th -
15th -
16th -
17th -
18th -
19th -
20th -
21st -
22nd -
23rd -
24th -
25th -
26th -
27th -
28th -
29th -
30th -
31st -

I’ve been looking at disposable underwear to wear with maternity pads but I’m not 100% sure why we need them. I know why we need maternity pads but why the underwear? Is it just easier?

@Coco9910 I didn’t use any disposable ones last time. I bought a pack of cheap black ones and accepted they might get ruined but they were fine (wearing a pair now actually!)

The bleeding was a lot less than I’d been expecting, from all the talk of pads and throw away pants I thought it would be like something out of Carrie but it was no worse than a normal period (for me anyway I know everyone is different!)

The thing I actually found most difficult was using pads again after so long (hadn’t used them since I was a teenager) I missed using my cup (not that I would have risked trying it but missed the convenience!)

I got some reusable pads after about a week and found them loads more comfortable and a lot less like I was wearing a nappy

@Coco9910 I'm so glad you asked about the pad/pants thing! I've been trying to work out whether you need both? It seems like the point of the Tena pants is so you don't have to wear a pad. But as they're for incontinence I have no idea whether they'd work for postpartum bleeding. Also, why is pregnancy so bloody expensive?! 😂

I've got some disposable knickers
Going to buy some more along with @HotToddyColdSauvignon what you have said buying a couple of packs of 2 sizes up
The disposable do feel horrible but think they are good for the first few days

Nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, disposable knickers I'm going to get in my next few weekly shops like '
@missv556 has suggested
So far I've bought things on a budget and not spent too much considering

If anyone hasn't done the Amazon baby wish list I would recommend
I did one from mine and one from my partners account so we got a fair bit for a good price

@CaptainCarp @ShellUK09 Facebook group sounds good to me - wouldn't know where to start - does anyone know? I still like this group though - it's been my saviour! @ShellUK09 you will be fine. This is my 2nd but she's almost 11 so feels like my first all over ! But you will find your way.

@Mattieandmummy that sounds about normal
As far as I know - I'm sure that's how it works down here - as I get closer I'm going to ask and see how I go about potentially a c section but still so undecided!! Hoping I can talk through fully and come to a decision

Hope everyone has a lovely day

Im on a day off to meet a friend for lunch whilst grabbing some more baby bits
I have a boots order to collect

I've made a baby list / hospital bag list briefly and getting little bits each day
I think that's really helped so I'm not leaving it to last minute

Also going to wash baby bits for hospital bag but save washing for clothes here when I start maternity leave which is around 20th June

I'm taking a months leave ish before my may leave starts on my due date but at the moment apart from feeling uncomfortable and ready mentally! I don't feel ready to leave work
My replacement has gone awol so no one to hand over and I don't feel ' done' so I think from now until 20th June I can see it going quickly

I'm so excited for my growth scan next Tuesday to see what she's up to! She's measuring big at my last two 😬 and to see what position she is in

Most of my movements are all to the left
Really strung kicks and limbs movement all
Over the left side of my bump - and things stick out to the right but more lumps then kicks so I'm hoping she isn't transverse? Or if she is, she moves ! Does anyone know or can they tell where their baby position is? Midwife told me on my last check she was sort of curved round my belly with head down ish just not engaged but again it's still early and time to move I know
I just thought I'd get movement all over

X

@Coco9910 I think it's to protect your normal underwear I believe ?
I underestimated how much I bled when I had my first - there was so much and much heavier than a period, I remember having clots too. but my partner just ran to the shops as and when to get more, wasn't an issue I didn't have many so doing the same this time incase I don't bleed as much like @SamanthaVimes has said
But I didn't use the disposables for very long
Just hospital and few days after as there was a lot of blood for me so I won't stock up
For me I bled for ages but was able to swap to pads and normal knickers on a few days x

Hi ladies, I'd really love your opinion if that's okay? Sorry for the long post...

I was under the impression that my Trust would refuse an elective C section, but at my 34 week midwife's appointment on Monday she seemed to suggest it would be my choice, and if I wanted one all she'd have to do was refer me to the consultant midwife who'd discuss risks etc. with me.

It's my first baby, and I am a bit scared of vaginal birth. Not petrified or phobic, and it's actually not the pain that scares me so much, but the complete unknown of it freaks me out. I literally do not know a woman personally who had a 'straightforward' vaginal birth for their first. It's all stories of instrumentals, and failed attempts ending in a C section anyway. My poor sister had a horrible drawn out induction, followed by a cord prolapse and a grade one EMCS. She followed that horror with the calmest elective c-section for her second baby, and a swift recovery.

There's a part of me that feels I should go for vaginal just for the experience of labouring and hopefully it turning out well. It's the ideal in terms of recovery if the birth is textbook. But, there are no guarantees, and I'm really wary of some of the pain relief options making me sick/out of control. I cannot stand being nauseous, and on top of pain I think it'd really cause me misery. Plus I've been sober for 8 years, and to feel whacked out on any kind of drug when I haven't even been tipsy in forever, probably won't do my head any good.

I've been told baby is head down (though a sonographer said sunny side up at last scan, which can be more a much more painful labour apparently), so position is good right now. No complications so far, and she's measuring about average I think (3lb 12oz at 32+1), but I'm older at 39 and tiny hipped (5ft and normally a size 6-8) so I wonder if I'm just not the optimal birther!

I know it's an impossible thing to give advice on because everyone is different, but WWYD? There's a possibility we may want to try for a second child relatively soon after the first due to my age, so there's that to consider too. I'm exhausted already and she's not even here yet!

@Mattieandmummy did you have to be admitted to hospital before your c section when your baby was transverse? I just really don’t want to leave my DS1 for that long!!

I never got disposable knickers first time and I probably won’t this time. Just got some big black knickers from Asda a couple sizes bigger and then used maternity pads until the bleeding got a bit less and could wear normal sanitary towels!

@deliwoman1 I really think that is something you can only decide for yourself. Nobody and any idea how things are going to go on the day, you could have the easiest vaginal labour ever, but it could also be the opposite, and if it would be worse for your headspace to be dealing with things changing last minute then I'd be inclined to go with a planned CS.

@HotToddyColdSauvignon that's exactly what I bought at the weekend, cheap packet in a size up from Primark, hopefully that does the trick!

@strawberrysummer19 all my movements are in the left side too which I've found surprising as I also just thought it would be all over! I can sometimes feel it's wee bum sticking out near the top too, but ever since I've felt movement from limbs it's been on the left!

@deliwoman1 I totally understand why you’re worried. As you say there’s no way to predict if a vaginal birth will go well or not.

In your shoes the things I would consider are:

• what support do you have for after the birth? I had vaginal and was up and about relatively quickly but my antenatal pals who had c sections definitely had a worse recovery and took weeks longer to recover. If you’ll be on your own or your partner will be back to work soon after the birth then it’s worth considering that.
• Pain relief is a tricky one. I found gas and air made my head go a bit funny but pethidene and epidural were fine for me even though they’re much stronger. Epidural only affects you from waist down so might be a good option if you’re worried about feeling sick? I think if you go for a section it’s basically an epidural anyway?
• I think it’s advised to wait longer after a section to get pregnant again to avoid stress on the scar (you should speak to your doctor/midwife about this though because I don’t know what the up to date guidance on this would be)
• Elective c section is a lot more predictable. Probably worse than a “good” vaginal birth but much much better than a traumatic one / emergency section. There’s no way of knowing which type of birth you’d end up with if you go vaginal

it’s so difficult because whatever option you pick you’ll never know how the alternative would have gone.

For what it’s worth I had a relatively uncomplicated vaginal birth (epidural and episiotomy but no forceps or vontouse) and am going for the vaginal option again and hoping it goes well. As I already have a toddler the recovery time is a lot more important to me than it was first time around.

@SamanthaVimes your summed that up very well and your last point is spot on for me

@deliwoman1 no we can't answer your question like you say and I probably shouldn't ! But honestly reading what you have written makes me sway towards a c section if I was you, sorry if I should let answer like that but sometimes I think it's more clear when you know a bit more why you are considering one like you have explained

@SamanthaVimes as you answered @deliwoman1 question so well would you mind weighing it up for my circumstances please?

My first (2011) was traumatic in my opinion
No instruments were used but it was very quick vaginal birth
I was admitted 1pm as I had a bleed and they couldn't work out where it was coming from so kept me in overnight and sent partner home (40+1) so they said he needs to sleep as labour could be hours away potentially but maybe days
All night I was having painful contractions to be told ' your not in labour and will be going home in the morning' given paracetamol and offered a bath
I was scared worried and on my own in pain
Fast forward 9am and my waters went with a gush - I was in agony
I texted my partner to come now and the midwife's said visiting hours don't start until 10am!
10am he walked in I was on all fours in pain
And he demanded I was examined (thank god) they seemed reluctant to. Anyway
I was 8cm and the midwife's said oh let's send you to delivery suite! No exaggeration that is what happened to my labour so far
No time for pain relief - I wanted a birthing pool which they did too
By the time it filled I was in and pushing
I got out, examined and was 10cm 45 mins later so I stayed out to push
Pushed for 1hr52 mins whilst DR kept checking and remember him giving me 30mins more as baby wasn't in distress
Was hooked up to monitor so couldn't move around and had to push on bed and wasn't allowed back in pool
Anyway baby was born, placenta got stuck and had the painful contractions continue for 2 hrs before I was taken to surgery to remove the placenta
In the 2 hrs 2 midwife's and one DR took turns (DR only one attempt before deciding on theatre) ' having a go' i remember them saying
One midwife was a student and her first retained placenta so they were talking her through and letting her ' have a go 'which I did consent to ( I wouldn't now knowing what I know and how it made me feel) she was so gentle and the midwife and definitely not the DR wasn't so I don't think anything she would have done would get it out
After surgery (and an epidural which was absolutely heaven by then) said there's no way that was coming out
I was left with a second degree tear and internal tearing which was only advised to me after 10
Wks of bleeding and being very poorly at home for ages
I couldn't relax or enjoy my baby
I think I had ptsd but didn't recognise it back then. But I struggled at home and couldn't sit down for ages. I had a rubber ring to sit on
So although c section healing is 6wks I honestly felt terrible for months - around 4 months and 6 months before I felt normal again as I'm having sex etc
So this is my reasons for thinking of a C
I've been told baby is measuring big and on 97th centile but have 2 more growth scans
Was thinking I'll decide after that or see if the decision may be taken out of my hands ie she may be breech etc
My first baby was 9lbs and I am very slim with no hips - so may have contributed

What do you think? I know people can't answer for me but even with that story I still can't say I'm 100% c section as I know that also comes with risks

I feel I need to make my mind up so next week at my growth scan (32wks) and my next midwife 34 wks I can be more sure rather than be talked into another natural

Thoughts very welcome
Xx

To add im under a consultant for IVF baby 40yrs and having a previous thyroid issue
So they did say I wouldn't go full term and would look at induction at 39wks
Just to add some context
So if I haven't gone into natural labour by 39 then looks like the plan would be to be induced

X

@strawberrysummer19 gosh your first experience sounds really tough! I can completely see why you’d be leaning towards a section.

I guess for you the things I’d think about are:

• is this your last baby? (Eg do you have to worry about scar healing time for another pregnancy given your age)
• second labours can be faster than first ones (which has pros and cons in itself)
• inductions can be more painful than spontaneous labour
• It sounds like a lot of your problems came from being in pain and alone (which must have been terrifying). The NICE guidelines on epidurals say you should be able to have one at any point if you want them, including in early labour. Obviously in real life there is a bit of a dependency on the availability of the anaesthetist- your midwife will probably have a good idea on how likely this is to be an issue at your hospital. So an early epidural might make things more calm for you this time around if you do choose vaginal?
• at least with a c section you’d have some predictability over recovery time and your other DC is old enough that you won’t need to do physical care for them in the same way you would a toddler and you could explain to them before hand what’s going to happen

honestly in this situation I’d find it very difficult to decide as I can see pros and cons for both. Maybe if you haven’t gone into labour by 39 weeks opt for the section over the induction? As I think inductions are more likely to have complications vs spontaneous labour?

see if you can have a good chat with your consultant about your worries and previous birth as they will have a good view of how likely each scenario is to play out

@NamelessBaby1 thanks, that's helpful. I'm pretty adaptable generally, but maybe not so much with this!

@SamanthaVimes thank you so much. You've really helped me organise my thoughts about it. My head is a bit spinny after finding out an elective c section is possible without indications. At the moment I'm leaning toward vaginal birth with no opioids if possible, skipping straight to c-section (no instrumental) in the event of complication. I'll be holding out if they start talking about induction too early; I really need my baby/body to decide that they're ready, and if they don't in time and that's bad, a c-section is best in my opinion. For some reason tears and episiotomies make me more nervous than recovery from major abdominal surgery. Long term complications from vaginal births seem so under-explained.

@strawberrysummer19 I'm sorry to hear your story. It sounds awful but sadly not terribly uncommon from what I've heard, particularly the bit about midwives not quite believing you are as dilated as you are. I'll be demanding they get in there and bloody check rather than guess. The growth scans will tell you more, but the points @SamanthaVimes raised for you seem like really good ones to consider.

@SamanthaVimes thank you so much for reading my long post and taking the time to reply

This is my last - I'm 40 and I'm so happy we got pregnant after 5yrs of TTC and 2 rounds of ivf I honestly feel done. My partner on the other hand wants another (we have one more frozen embryo - but that's another debate for another day!)

Yes a lot of it was the pain. I honestly thought it was horrendous and being told I wasn't in labour and I was and the awful retained placenta
I felt like I was in the saw movie

I have great support - my partner will take 2 weeks but can take longer if needed
My mother in law is absolutely amazing and has offered to help where she can and we are very close and I feel happy with her being here

My fear would be if I went for induction then that would possibly lead to complications/ emergency c anyway so that's my thoughts about an c section

That's a good idea ask to be booked a c for 39 wks and if I go into labour before then be more sure about pain relief and requesting one and being more adamant which I wasn't 10 yrs ago
And knowing the pain now I know what to expect
That's it's blood awful (for me it was) and that it's over at some point!

My worry is that my second would be quicker
My body went closed cervix to 10 very very quickly x

Thank you I'll see if I can have a chat with them x

@annie1994 no one said anything about going into hospital early with my first but I'm not sure we had the best care for the last two months as my midwife went on sabbatical and we had a different midwife every appointment so it could have been missed... I don't know.

For what it's worth, and this is only my experience and I am not saying this to scare you but my first was oxygen deprived at birth not because the cord prolapsed but because her shoulder got stuck. We were extremely lucky - she has brain damage but at 3.5 years old - you would never know. I would say in the context of the trauma, the severe PTSD for me, the years of medical monitoring and hospital visits for our first, the huge anxiety over every single milestone - if there is even a chance of that happening to you, I would take the going into hospital early. Of course you will miss your toddler and of course they will miss you but ultimately the most important thing is that everyone is alive and healthy. X

@Mattieandmummy i’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. My son had the cord tightly wrapped round his neck and had to be resuscitated for 45 mins but luckily he seems to be ok. If the medical advice is to stay at the hospital beforehand I 100% would do it, but I’m just hoping baby shifts so there is no extra risk of cord prolapse.

@deliwoman1 as far as I’m aware, any woman is allowed to request a c section whether there are medical indications or not. So you’re within your right to ask! I do think there is a lot of scare mongering and normally only the women who have had bad births talk so openly about them! Majority of births are relatively ok or only minor issues. But obviously the problem is that you don’t know what’s going to happen to you. In your case I would discuss with an obstetrician regarding you wanting another child soonish after as a c section could effect that. I personally don’t want any more children after this baby but for your situation, that would be my biggest decider. Its so hard to decide what’s best to do! I would also talk to your partner, mum etc and see what they think x

@annie1994 Ah I see, I'm sorry that you had to go through that and that you know far too much about the worse case scenario as a result too.

I hope number 2 moves for you, I looked into Spinning Babies with my first and I'm sure there's a Chinese herbal medicine thing where they burn something between your toes to get a baby to turn. Sounds crazy I know but I was getting pretty desperate with my first before she sorted the problem herself. Might be worth at least a Google.

@annie1994 thanks! Yes, it's the uncertainty that spooks me, and first births are notoriously unpredictable. At my trust until quite recently they were open about referring you to another trust if you wanted an elective c. It simply wasn't done there. But I think the Ockenden report has had an impact on that. My midwife even said that while they would do them, elective c-sections 'weren't something they advertised.' I can see why. It's expensive mainly, plus risky etc.I would probably need to be quite articulate and forthright about my fears to convince the consultant midwife. Reading between the lines, my midwife seemed to suggest that I play up my concerns - fear of vaginal birth counts as an indication.

@Mattieandmummy I will have a look thank you 😊

@deliwoman1 I totally understand how scary the uncertainty is! I like to be in control and know what’s happening all the time! I think doctors and midwives are always going to push vaginal births because they’re cheaper, less staff needed, theatre room not needed, shorter hospital stays etc.

I mentioned it to the obstetrician at around 29 weeks that I was thinking of having one due to my first birth being traumatic. And said that I’m having CBT and am under the perinatal mental health team because of it - as soon as I said about that he was 100% accepting that I’d be allowed one. So mental health and anxiety can definitely be a reason!

My first birth at 19 years old ended up in an EMCS because of quick onset high blood pressure with a start of a placental abruption and after delivery 2 eclamptic fits. My 2nd I opted for a VBAC which was successful and quite quick needed an episiotomy. With this one I’m hoping for a VBAC again with the hope it will go smoothly but will have a c section if needed.

My sister not long had a baby. Induction which ended up with a c section but previous 2 babies vaginal deliveries. I know they said she needs to wait 18 months before becoming pregnant again to heal. Recovery was a bit longer as her scan got infected but was the only option to make sure the baby was delivered safely in the end.

@Fizzybubblegumbottles Oof, your first sounds scary! But I'm glad you and baby were fine. I've heard 6-18 months wait post-c-section before trying again. I'd be more comfortable with somewhere in between 6-12 months, I suppose. It took us a year and three losses before this one stuck, and I'm imagining a similar if not worse journey to the second, if we decide to do that. I'm 40 in Feb next year and I just don't know about waiting until 41 or even 42 to start what could be a lengthy process again. 😐

@deliwoman1 it wasn’t the best experience and people constantly asked why would you have another one after that and I always say because no 2 births are the same and I’m monitored regularly to avoid it happening again but doesn’t mean it won’t. Thank you😘 that baby is now nearly 11 😢
I would say maybe talk to your consultant/midwife and ask about how long to wait and get the pros and cons and make a decision from there, in my experience I didn’t consider a c section an option for my 2nd and I haven’t so far for this one but things can change so keeping an open mind x

What sizes and how many clothes are people
Thinking about taking in their hospital bag?

X

@Fizzybubblegumbottles An open mind sounds like a good idea. Thank you!

@strawberrysummer19 I'm feeling like I've got an average-sized baby coming at this point, so eight of everything in newborn, and two of everything in 0-3 to start. If I need extras, there's an M&S near the hospital, so we'll be broke but she'll be clothed! 😂 We also live not too far from the hospital if it all turns into a saga. Hoping I'll be home before running through that lot, though. At least it all folds up small!