Hello friends!
This is my first post here. I am a 32 year old Australian woman living in Mexico with my Mexican boyfriend who is 28. I discovered I was pregnant at 8 weeks and waited until 12.5 weeks to have a medical abortion at home. The pharmacy refused to give me mifoprostol, only misoprostol - I took it over a period of a few nights in my mouth and vagina and had a tiny dab of bleeding only the first evening and nothing more the other nights. I was under the assumption I had a dead baby inside of me and have been waiting for it to leave my system for a couple weeks (I read that it can sometimes take some time to naturally leave your system).
Fast forward I have second degree burns on my feet so wound up in the hospital, had an ultrasound and the doctor says my baby is healthy and fine at 15 weeks. I have had drinks (two or three tops) two nights since thinking the baby was dead. I am concerned pills and a bit of alcohol has affected it.
My boyfriend and I went to the abortion clinic to have tests and find out about surgical abortion - I wish she found a problem but said the baby is healthy and there's no problems. I'm at the absolute limit in terms of time so I have two days to decide.
This has been emotional hell - I started to come to terms with the abortion and death of the baby and now to find out it's fine. But is it risky to even continue? If it had deformities I would never forgive myself.
But also, can I even have a baby - I am financially unstable living in Mexico far from my family and my boyfriends income is not fantastic. I need to buy a couch and a Tv and just think all my freedom to travel will disappear. However my heart hurts so much and I can't stop crying because 15 weeks is so far along and I've been broken through this entire process. Head or heart, everyone has their own opinions and I am literally 50/50 and it has not changed.
Thank you for reading this ;-;