I am so frustrated with myself.
Got given a testing kit on Thursday but haven't used it yet. I couldn't sleep last night or the night before due to how scared I am of needles. I tried for over an hour this morning until I made myself sick with stress over it.
I'm rationalising it in my head as they won't check the results until Wednesday due to the holidays. So what's the point in doing it from today? I don't have medication to take yet and I've already changed my diet loads so I don't see what good these readings will do. My fasting level was super high so I've been told I'm almost definitely going on Metformin after the Easter holiday. I'm having a c section anyway for other reasons so that isn't even a motivator. I feel like such a wimp. I can't even let someone else do it which is unlike me. My heart is still pounding and I feel so ill and it's been over an hour since I stopped trying. I hate blood tests but I can have them if necessary, I have two bloody injections a day in my thigh of painful blood thinner and it took months for me to not get super worked up over those.
I think I need a reality check. I manage to take my blood thinners (someone else doing them) because I almost died. We thought we were going to lose this baby early on due to abnormal testing results (had to have further tests and a massive amnio needle in my bloody belly) and I managed to get through all that because I care for her so why can't I prick my finger?!