pregnant at 43

[Galaxy27]

Hi, iv discovered I’m pregnant and on here as I have no one to talk to just yet and wanted to see if anyone has had a baby at a similar age. I’m 44 in September, I have 3 children already, 21, 17 and 9, my eldest is also pregnant and would be due 2 weeks before me, really not the ideal situation but my main concern is my age. Has anyone else had a baby at this age, I feel as I’m too old and worry for the complications it can bring, never in a million years thought I’d be doing it again near 10 years later and still doing it 22 years later, not that it matters but it’s all same dad, been together since teens, we must be crazy 🥴 🙈

Worded that so wrong, but obvs he’s not our daughters baby daddy 🥴

You must be in shock - assuming this wasn’t planned?
No one can really tell you what to do but clearly you have some serious thinking to do, as it is not straightforward situation.

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!
All well.

I had my 16 month old 2 months off my 45th birthday. TBf she's my 9th and the next was 4 eldest 19.5yrs at the time. No complications - baby is perfect and my pregnancy was text book. I did end up with a c section but my first was a emcs too! I like to say I finished where I started. 🤣

I had a “surprise “ baby at 45 . 21 years after my previous youngest child. All was fine apart from high blood pressure at the end leading to a CS. My son is not much older than my grandson and they are very close . He is also very close to his siblings who are almost like another set of younger parents! It has kept me young I think despite the tribulations of the teenage years!

How do you feel about it OP, it’s a long way to go back given your children’s ages and that you are due to become a GP. Of course many women have babies in their 40’s. Speak to GP for advice. Good luck.

I had a dc at 43.2. My oldest was 25!!
No regrets. Gap of 6 years was great. The ds's are very close now at 7 and 13...

I am in total shock, not told anyone apart from the dad, he’s happy wheres as I’m just worrying. I’m 2 weeks behind my daughter, I wanted to be 100% there for her and help her through, which I can be but in reality it’s not gonna be easy is it, but it’s happened now and I don’t think I could go through with the other. Im not gonna lie I’m disappointed in myself, I was ready for my next chapter and now I’m starting again, I’m a healthy 43 old but I know I’ll worry the entire pregnancy purely because my age. Plus I don’t think my 9 yr old will be happy, she doesn’t even know about her sister yet and not the biggest fan of babies as it is, know that’s stuff that will overcome but I feel guilty on her loads

I had my DD at 40 and there is a 22 year old age gap between her and her brother. We've been trying for a couple of years for another and I wasn't too bothered about my age (now 44). My pregnancy at 40 was absolutely fine. I don't think 44 is that 'old' or unusual these days.

I need to stop reading stuff online, making me think negative the way some articles write how womens bodies are after age 35 if they have a baby. I think also If it were just me pregnant I think I’d feel slightly different, but my daughter has only just told me and I’d only just got my head round that then hit with this, I know there’s people who been fine when having babies older and my 3 other pregnancies have been fine, no issues at all, but no getting away from the fact I’ll be near 10 years older

Honestly, if it wasn't planned and you were looking forward to the next phase of life you do know you're not OBLIGED to having this baby right?

I'm in a similar situation (not Pg but a young child and young grandchildren) and it's absolutely impossible to be the grandmother I wanted to be which makes me sad and adds to the endless mum guilt!

I know, I have to have serious thought on it, at the moment I’m only 4 weeks an 3 days, so very early and I know things can happen and be took out my hands anyway, but I really do need to decide sooner rather than later what I want to do, it’s such a difficult decision, and I know I’ll be fine with a new baby but as you say it’s the mum guilt, on my eldest especially with her being pregnant too, and my youngest, my son who’s 17 will be the only one that’s happy from the off probably

My dad and stepmom had a baby 3 months before our first child! I was so excited for them! So fun having them close in age. Every child is a true blessing and gift from God!

I had my first at 40, second at 41 and third at 43. All went very well, no problems (the third time my blood tests came back as high risk for DS, but NIPT showed no issue). The third pregnancy was physically the hardest, but I put that down to having three babies in three years at my age. My youngest is 16weeks old and lovely.

It’s so difficult isn’t it, if I was in your shoes, I would be considering the following,

going back to sleepless nights, nappies, endless school runs etc.

The toll on my body, physically and mentally.

The family, how your DD will feel who is having (I presume her first baby)

DD (9) will soon come round, but it won’t be easy as she will no longer be “the baby”

You will be going through menopause when the baby you are carrying is 13, that might not make for the easiest of times.

If you decided against having the baby, how are you going to feel when your DD has her baby?

The plus’s are DH is happy, you are healthy etc. But it’s a very big decision. Good luck with whatever you decide, if it was me I would have the baby, and ensure DH has a vasectomy once baby arrives!

I've just had babies at 43 and 44, both IVF and very lucky to have them after trying for a long time. I can't compare with children when you get, but I was fine with both pregnancies, little morning sickness, a bit tired and some heartburn, otherwise we'll throughout.

My mum had me, her only child at 43, almost 44! Uncomplicated pregnancy and birth and I'm absolutely fine. I had a much harder time when I was pregnant with DS and I was 32.

It’s such a hard decision, so many cons yet so so many pros as well, yes it will be my daughters first child, proper stealing everyone’s thunder, my niece is also having a baby which would be due 4 weeks before me. I do worry how I would personally cope going through it again and trying to be there as much as I can for my daughter as well, plus not make my youngest feel like she’s losing everything’s she knows, iv always thought she would be my last. A massive double whammy all before the years over

Where I am in London it’s pretty common to have babies in early 40s. I was 31 when I had my first and the rest of my NCT group was 38-42. We’ve all gone on to have second children now so most were in their 40s. In reality you’re not too old, it’s just that the big gap with your last child and the fact your daughter is pregnant makes it feel that way.

Have you ever watched Father of the Bride 2??

I thought of Father of the Bride 2 as well. Terrible movie and Diane Keaton does not make a believable 45 year old... but it's the same scenario and they make it look rather fun!

If it were me though I'd be thinking very seriously about my options. I'm just too tired for it all.

No not seen father of the bride, have to watch, and yes prob does feel like I’m more older cos I’m gonna be a nanny whilst pregnant 🥴 like the gaps don’t I, I’m just gonna have to have a really good think about it and it’s not gonna be an easy decision I know 😞

@ogorange

I thought of Father of the Bride 2 as well. Terrible movie and Diane Keaton does not make a believable 45 year old... but it's the same scenario and they make it look rather fun!

If it were me though I'd be thinking very seriously about my options. I'm just too tired for it all.

Well sure it was fun! Steve Martin was there!

Both of my aunt's had babies at 40 and 42.
No issues at all... Apart from the fact both of the "young cousins" were major pains in my ass as a teenager 🤣

Your other DCs may not be thrilled but they'll adjust.

I've just had a baby 4 weeks ago and I'm 44 😊

I had my 4th last year at 45; the other three are 24, 17 and 13. I have now just discovered I am pregnant again due in December. Not sure how I'm feeling about this last one to be honest.