I'm really crap at being pregnant and I don't care who knows it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I am not one of those glowing pregnant women. I vomit a lot. I have permanent wind and indigestion, and spots. My hair turns into a fuzzball, I gain weight at a rate of knots and am permanently tired.

I am tetchy with everyone and frosty with midwives who pat me knowingly . I am beligerent with consultants who refer to me as 'mum' and crotchety in the extreme with phlebomotists who take five attempts to get one vial of blood.

My pelvis goes to pot within four months, my blood pressure is up and down so often Alton Towers have asked if they can install it as a ride, my ankles are so swollen I look like they've been encased in pastry like some massive hairy sausage rolls.

Pregnancy to be completely frank, is a total pain in the arse for me (quite literally I get piles too) and if I could get a baby, ready made on ebay I would.

I'm assuming I am alone in this, yes?

BRILLIANT BRILLIANT and hilarious thread - wish that this had been written a few weeks ago. It would have cheered me up no end.

I finally gave birth at the end of December after 9 revolting months! I got so fed up with people who told me to enjoy it and that I wouldn't know sleep deprivation until after the birth (I suffered horrendous insomnia, non-stop-heartburn, piles, night-time dribbling (don't ask!), and sickness the whole of my pregnancy - the insomnia was the worst). I have to say Ladies, that in spite of a long and tricky labour and all that a 12 day newborn demands - I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WELL since before conception! It's heaven!!! So just remember this and ignore everyone who tries to tell you HOW YOU FEEL. They're idiots, even if they mean well. PAH!

Good luck everyone - it is actually worth it in the end! You won't want to hear that though!!! xxx

I love you all...thank you for making me feel less alone! I'm due in 12 days and have been having a miserable time without ever being ill enough to have anything proper to whinge about....legs that look like tree trunks, been sick or feeling sick for 9 months, barely sleeping, feel like total poo, grumpy, hormonal, piles etc etc - and have been feeling really guilty for not 'enjoying' the pregnancy....oh well, thank god today is my last day in the office!!

Thank you angua probably too sweary though, and everyone will just think it's pregancy hormones and i'm not evening pg LOL!

Hilarious thread and absolutely true. Am pg with no 2 and thanking god that after this, that will be it. So far, not so bad, but am really (not) looking forward to agonising hips which wake me up 4x a night and require me to wave my bottom in the air to relieve the pain.

One plus point is being a rather solidly built 5ft 9" normally, it is nice not having to worry about my waistline getting larger and getting fat like the skinny-jims who suddenly realise they have thick ankles and have traumas becuase they can no longer fit into their size zero clothes. ha!

Ooh, just thought of another thing I hate about pregnancy - the fact that anyone feels they can place their hands on you, whether you've been introduced to them and know their mother's maiden name or not. I just want to say 'gerroff'.

mellymel - keep away from Greece then - I went there first pregnancy and no bugger warned me that greek men think it is lucky to rub a pregnant woman's belly. I decked four of them before someone tipped me off

Having said, they seem to find an angry pregnant lady a very attractive prospect in the main

Bumperlicious, well you didn't make it to quote of the week, but still a brilliant sentance.

Love this thread.

Oh yes HelenPettigrew - the Night time dribbling, What fun that is!!!!

And to add to my list of complaints I am now fainting often! Got a lovely set of bruises, scrapes and a sprained wrist to show for the one today!

Oh thank god! All I seem to hear from others is "oh, I loved being pregnant" which, forgive me, makes me want to punch them.

Am 39 weeks now. Have had immovable chest infection and cough since October despite several rounds of antibiotics. So have essentially been incontinent for last three months. Nice!

Not to mention constant agonising heartburn despite keeping Gaviscon in business all by myself. And greasy hair, more spots than I've ever had in my life, skin tags, sweat rash, wind, alternating constipation/runs, hip pain, insomnia etc etc.

And people who come over for dinner and say "ooh, I've brought flowers because you can't drink, can you?".

And people who ask "how's baby?" Arrggh! Shall we ask him? Do you think he can communicate verbally yet?!

And why do maternity clothes only fit until 34 weeks? I'm really enjoying only having two outfits left that actually fit, one of which is the inevitable tracksuit bottoms.

Oh, and maternity/nursing bras. Ugghh. What is going on there? Went to M&S yesterday and only ones in my size were a two pack of hideous bras - one pale yellow, one pale pink. Why??!!!!! Are they trying to guarantee I never have sex again?!

I hated the fact that after about 30 weeks i needed a bloody crane to roll over in bed!!
Oh and the heartburn! And the projectile vomiting up to about 20 weeks which sometimes caused me to pee myself it was so violent
Part of me misses being pg, but only a tiny bit.

Ernestina - I think your complaint that maternity clothes that fit till 34 weeks is a tad optimistic in some people's cases. My 'maternity' jeans are too tight on my bump despite fitting everywhere else. ARRRGH

You can get nice nursing bras but they all give you bugger all support.

I'm with you in the maternity jeans stakes, I've had to buy a 16 to fit round my bump but could have comfortably worn a 12
Mind you said bump is the size of a house.

I'm having to wear a size 12 and it's too small on the bump and hangs off my arse and makes me look like Bob the sodding builder. The only thing that could possibly look less attractive is if I decided to wear dungarees!

Glad to see you're all still here! Posting from the hosp - had LO yesterday and I wanted to add that, despite a baby that hates my bosoms, 2nd degree tear and stitches and a fanjo that feels the size of a small continent, I haven't felt this normal in months!! My backache and bumpache have disappeared, I can lie on my huge wobbly belly and wear trousers round my waist a la Simon Cowell if I so desire. So hold on girls, pregnancy really is harder than any of it. I'm glad that's me done...

Oi Sarah! Fabulous! You done a birth announcement???

many congrats Sarahjct.

dear girls,

thanks for that! really cheered me up. i've got dreadful dark circles, sagging boobs, huge belly, can't sleep comfortably,back hurts and i feel knackered but in good company clearly.

well i was feeling sorry for myself having hauled my sorry ass back over here after spending a week with dh with nearly 3 year old and luggage with all the fun of numb bottom on the pane and going to the loo with toddler and bump- hmmmm.

then getting from heathrow to gatwick and my poorly boy who was sick on the bus and now you've made me laugh my 27 week(? oh dear-second time i've lost count.due 2nd april) head off.

second time is so much harder!

whilst i'm here, anyone ever offered you their own medical advice doe your own child? red mist moment. My little boy was coughing a lot and random MAN told me to take him to the doc or he might get pneumonia. Nice. Thanks. And I nearly brained some queue jumpers. They nearly didn't let me on the flight on the way out with no doctor's note... My mum said- ooh I expect you'll get special treatment on the plane as you're pregnant with a toddler. Yeah, nearly banning us from going...

I was v lucky to be able to go and not to have to cook or wash for a week, but oh dear january is not much fun is it once you come back.

thank you thank you for easing the pain... only now i've eaten an industrial sized chocolate bar and all the fun is ending. And dh is away for 2 1/2 weeks still. www.mumsnet.com/te/3.gif

so 2nd time round i am vast and i have no idea how anyone manages with 2!

there it's all out now.www.mumsnet.com/te/1.gif

Congrats SarahJCT

mamalala - I feel your pain, I just had to pay Brittany Ferries an extra £80 because I had to shift my booking forward three weeks to fit in with their stupid rule that you can't travel once you are 28 weeks! Apparently the boat might rock and you'd have a baby

I'm 29 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy after a whopping 12 year gap!! am I mad I ask myself?
I have had a fairly ok pregnancy this time round, had the usual 12 weeks of sickness, hospitalised for 2 days with a sickness bug, on a drip for 14 hours. My tolerance levels have gone to pot as I find myself screaming inside at the most ridiculous things that I wouldn't usually get the hump about, I also gave up smoking 3 weeks before I fell pregnant which hasn't helped the mood swings!
My hair has also gone greasy and limp and my face has developed teenage spots again,I'm so pale I look like I've had every ounce of blood drained out of me.Finally I have got through the constipation and now have f*ing piles. The answer to my question am I mad, well I think i'll leave that upto you!!!!

I feel (a bit) better just listening to all the rants....

Currently up with insomnia, heartburn, and panic about the insensitive muppet of a consultant we met this pm.

30 weeks and still feeling sick :-(

First pg was fine in the middle, all glowing and lovely, so what went wrong this time then?!!!

This is it, the last time, never again.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

I've felt a bit bleurgh for the first 19 weeks but I can't tell people (except my mum, sister and DH) the truth because then I feel guilty for even contemplating complaining. And anytime I've hinted that I'm not feeling so good I see a look on their faces which tells me I'm raining on their parade...

I love the fact that I'm pregnant and I'd happily be ill for the remainder of the time if it meant that baby was healthy and happy in there. But I draw the line at implying I'm 'glowing' and 'bursting with energy'. I'm convinced that 'the glow' really is just a myth perpetuated by those in society who like to romanticise pregnancy...perhaps I'm wrong and 'the glow' will arrive at 20 weeks...but that's what I think at the moment! .

I'm soooooo glad I'm not alone.

1st = 14 weeks of puking my guts up and then bliss. I felt on top of the world and unstoppable. Age 19.

2nd = 26 weeks of feeling sick and vomiting but not as bad as previous pregnancy. Very heightened sense of smell which made it worse. SPD and felt very, very low. (Was diagnosed with PND afterwards). Baby born at 42+1 after induction. Traumatic birth ending with 3rd degree tear. Age 23

3rd and currently 24 weeks = Severe Hyperemesis until 16 weeks, super heightened sense of smell which stopped me going downstairs, was in bed for over 8 weeks, felt like death warmed up. Get out of sick bed to discover I have very painful SPD. Been signed off work since end of October, now signed off until end of pregnancy. Hobble around, can't sleep due to pain and am unable to do anything at all. Not even housework. Nightmare. Age 30

I too agree with whoever it was that said if they could buy a baby ready made on ebay they would.

My 1st 2dc are with me exH. This baby is my DH's 1st child. I would love to be able to give him another child but there's no way I can go through this ever again. We have already spoken about adoption.

I look awful too. Dry, spotty skin, lank, frizzy hair, dark circles under my eyes.

I find it extremely annoying when people say things like...."I didn't suffer at all with morning sickness" or "I loved being pregnant" or "It'll all be worth it in the end". F*cking annoying!

I am like that too, Im grumpy already and sick of the midwife calling me Catherine (not my name).

God I remember this thread first time round. And here I am pg again and thinking 'never again'.

ive been moaning, whinging and aching for 20 weeks and ive still 20 more weeks of moaning to go.
so far this pg has been my worst, MS/SPD/random aches/ round ligment pain.

and if anyone asks me how i am i tell them
im even fed up listening to me, i cant wait for it to be over in june...then im never doing this again. i'd probably break in half if i did.
DH is trying his best though to just listen without commenting because commenting really doesnt help
and patting me on the top of my swollen bloated belly doesnt help either. 2 people have done this in the past week and i was close to snapping "stop whacking me in my bloated intestines there is no baby way up there!!!!!!"

ive given up buying the baby mags because they are a load a rubbish, im constantly grumpy and ive gone off all my favourite food and i cant even indulge myself in cake,biscuits and choccy cos ive gone off them too

the joys eh?