I'm really crap at being pregnant and I don't care who knows it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I am not one of those glowing pregnant women. I vomit a lot. I have permanent wind and indigestion, and spots. My hair turns into a fuzzball, I gain weight at a rate of knots and am permanently tired.

I am tetchy with everyone and frosty with midwives who pat me knowingly . I am beligerent with consultants who refer to me as 'mum' and crotchety in the extreme with phlebomotists who take five attempts to get one vial of blood.

My pelvis goes to pot within four months, my blood pressure is up and down so often Alton Towers have asked if they can install it as a ride, my ankles are so swollen I look like they've been encased in pastry like some massive hairy sausage rolls.

Pregnancy to be completely frank, is a total pain in the arse for me (quite literally I get piles too) and if I could get a baby, ready made on ebay I would.

I'm assuming I am alone in this, yes?

and especially hate that i have started peeing myself when i cough or sneeze which is a regular occurence as my immune system is shot to pieces and i ahve had a constant cold since september.

...oh and today my right leg has started giving way when I stand up, can only walk like a crab. GP given me diazapam to stop muscle spasms but I can't take it as alone in house with DD, DP in work having fun with no wheeble women probably. F*ing SPD. Can't get special tights on, and got volvo veins.
I want to do DP vasectomy myself as payback.

hee hee, my immume system has gone into hiding. I have had more colds and coughs over the last two months than I have had in the last five years - and to top it off I came down with a stomach bug last month.

micegg, your post could have been written by me . Almost 32 wks now but have been feeling the way your feeling for about the last 6-8 weeks

I love the whole "pregnancy is not an illness" thing, no really I do.

It's not an illness when you throw up everyday for 2 months (if you're lucky) and still have to go into work feeling like you have the hangover from hell despite not being allowed to touch a drop of alcohol. And you're just imagining that your ligaments hurt so much you can barely walk. And those fluttery little baby kicks that actually feel like the baby has wedged it's foot between your ribs, and what ever it does with it's hands that makes it feel like it is trying to dig it's way out.

Veering between narcoleptic like tiredness and pregnancy insomnia (with for the record it not adequate preparation for the sleepless nights with a newborn). Heartburn, piles, itchy skin, not to mention a mental health so fragile you make Kerry Katona look normal. Plus the heart stopping fear that grips you when you worry that something might go wrong. Then the equally blood chilling fear when you thing that what if it actually all does go right and you end up with a baby - then what the frig do you do? Did I miss anything, oh yeah - labour. Like pushing a grapefruit through a nostril, and boys you don't know the meaning of the phrase "ring of fire" (having the runs after a chicken jalfrezi is not the same thing at all). That's before mentioning the sheer exhahaustion of pushing your insides out and having your most delicate bit of skin ripped to shreds then sewn up never to be the same again ("but that's why they call it labour dear").

"But at the end of it all you'll have a baby..." Yeah that's not really looking like a plus side at the moment.

Not an illness? My fricking, torn and resculpted arsehole it's not an illness.

Bring back confinement that's what I say! Then we can just take to our beds, be waited on hand & foot in a big house in the country away from all the annoying buggers who say "It's not an illness you know"

So good to know I'm not alone!

After hideous morning sickness, a massive bleed at 15 weeks, suspected obstetric cholestasis in my 2nd trim and pre-eclampsia and polyhydramnios in my third, I couldn't wait to get the baby out. But I wish someone had told me that my SPD wouldn't magically disappear the moment I'd stopped being pregnant. My hips were still a bit painful afterwards but was convinced they would be improving. But one week after my DS was born, I stood up and found I couldn't put any weight on my left leg at all. Absolute bloody agony.

Never again!

"My fricking, torn and resculpted arsehole it's not an illness." - ROFL bumper!!

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother

WELL SAID !!!!!! xx

ROFL Bumper (of course you do realise we've all pissed ourselves now don't you )

I went to collect my forgotten booking stickers today and they said: 'we've given you extra because you ran out so often last time' Yeah, like I was papering the walls with them!

Agree with everyone but nobody mentioned CM running down your legs......just me then

Hi 34 weeks pg here, and have extremeley swollen nether regions! I have mentioned to midwife several times, and they just said quiet common to have varicous (sorry spelling) veins. Starting to worry not normal, as seriously seriously swollen, can anyone else share their experiences on this rather delicate subject, to make me feel less abnormal or not as the case may be?

On no.3 here, 39 weeks, spotty, fat, celullite from head to toe, fecking piles, hairy (look like something from "where the wild things are"), saggy tits,horrendous heartburn pelvis killing, 3 am waking and unable to go back to bed, weeing every half hour. To top it all I have a toddler who will not go to bed, and night wakes getting into our bed, kicking my huge pregnant tummy all night.

I am having another homebirth too...huh! What a serene haven of calm it is here.. a 12 year old who is dreading accidently seeing his mother's bits, toddler who keeps trying to burst the birthing pool and is like a manic dervish, (D)H who keeps moaning how tired he is.

oh and the fecking same questions over and over from everyone:
do you know what you are having?
any twinges?
20 texts a day: have you had the baby yet?
oh a homebirth; your`e brave..
still here then?
won't it traumatise the children you having it at home?
etc etc etc

I am sick of it all, ahhhhhhh!!!

oooh this thread makes me feel much better

I love the idea of pregnancy, but in reality I am a terrible pregnant woman.

I am sick if I drink milk (which I crave), I need at least 23 hours sleep a night to feel human, I cry very easily (I do that anyway, but I cried hysterically, big snotty tears, over a lack of peas once when pregnant)

I had the whole "it's not an illness" from the work nurse when I was pregnant with DD. I had HG, I kept being signed off work, struggling in in between signings off, only to throw up, look hideous, be sent back down to the nurse who would inform me that I was "only" pregnant and it wasn't an illness. I don't think I was wrong in wishing a 40 week stomach bug on her that she had to work through.

Oh, and to add to it I get the fabulous treat of antenatal depression, so when I get a break from wanting to pass out with tiredness or throw up, I am wanting to slit my wrists.

DD was a 44 week pregnancy. With DS I started whinging about wanting him out by 37 weeks because it was fair - I had done the full 80 week total therefore I should be allow to stop being pregnant NOW. Git held in there until my due date.

Hmmm... that was a nice rant. I was feeling broody until that!

Stacey probably worth starting a new thread on that for more responses. Don't worry there are very few taboo subjects on mumsnet! (FWIW I think one of the girls on my antenatal thread had them)

had my second baby 2 weeks ago and am on a massive high - mostly due to no longer being pregnant! Was the same last time, everybody told me the first six weeks with a newborn would be a nightmare but i loved every second - so much easier than pregnancy. When pg I feel about 80, can barely walk, feel like shite and cannot sleep. I really enjoyed both my births and could go through that bit again tomorrow but no way on earth will i ever get pregnant again!
Nice to know I'm not alone

FlamenFurter - I cried once at Waitrose because the man in front of me had put his briefcase on the conveyor belt so I had to wait 30 extra seconds for it to move along before I could put my shopping down

I've been crying inconsolably so much this pg. I was listening to 'perfect day' yesterday and tried to tell ds2 it reminded me of when I had him as a baby and got so choked up I was unable to speak. I was crying my eyes out driving along and was nowhere to pull over.

cried during eastenders

cried when telling dc's the nativity story (?)

Cired during robin hood, and at the same time thinking how crap it was.

depressing to read all you lot saying you're 37/38/39 weeks. I'm only bloody 17 weeks, and the sciatica is so bad. I cannot recline (lounge on settee/read in bed

and ine crazy worrying about minutae. Obv. worrying constantly about the Big Stuff, birth defects, misscarriage etc, but worrying about the school bus of the school my children don't even attend yet, whether to go for the extorionatly school dinners, trying to estimate if distance from boot to kitchen in new house will be significantly more than current house.

I really recommend emigrating and pregnancy. Really focuses your mind at 3 in the morning.

Oh joys, it is 4am and I am here, wide awake and have just cleaned the kitchin floor What a shame men don't have babies.

When I was pg I cried in waitrose because they didn't have the pasta sauce I wanted!

Cried because my toddler wasn't walking and then cried because she started walking and 'didn't need me anymore'

Wind???

hee hee, very funny thread reminds me that I'm so glad I'm not pregnant! I've had four and after I give birth to them I'm ecstatic to be 'unpregnant'
Now in hindsight, 9 months is not a long time, but it seems to drag when you are in it.

hee hee I love being unpregnant.....
oh and of course when I look at ds3 chuckling and rolling about the floor with ds2 like puppies, it was worth it!

sigh, carry on....

Oyyy pusscat - I'll be past that point by then and onto the actively leaking wee stage

Something I just decided is good about pregnancy.
The tesco lady bringing the shopping into your house so you dont have to bend/lift and then being able to leave it all whislt you sit down and eat a packet of haribos cos it will 'probably stop you feeling sick mummy'

bumperliciousisonehotmother, have nominated you for quote of the week!