I'm really crap at being pregnant and I don't care who knows it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I am not one of those glowing pregnant women. I vomit a lot. I have permanent wind and indigestion, and spots. My hair turns into a fuzzball, I gain weight at a rate of knots and am permanently tired.

I am tetchy with everyone and frosty with midwives who pat me knowingly . I am beligerent with consultants who refer to me as 'mum' and crotchety in the extreme with phlebomotists who take five attempts to get one vial of blood.

My pelvis goes to pot within four months, my blood pressure is up and down so often Alton Towers have asked if they can install it as a ride, my ankles are so swollen I look like they've been encased in pastry like some massive hairy sausage rolls.

Pregnancy to be completely frank, is a total pain in the arse for me (quite literally I get piles too) and if I could get a baby, ready made on ebay I would.

I'm assuming I am alone in this, yes?

I really wish Mumsnet had been around when i had my only son 8 years ago.

Extreme morning sickness for 15 weeks
Then SPD straightaway afterwards (hips have never been the same again) NOBODY I knew had even heard of it.
Even my mum said it was because I had left it too late to have a child - i was 37 FGS!
Depression, paranoia -most because people STARED at this enormous woman on crutches.
Agorophobia - ditto above.
Extremely large -put on 4 and half stone -probably because I didn't leave the house much!
Aminoentesis at 20 weeks (stress)
And if anyone cooed over me or touched my bump, i wanted to punch their lights out.

Of course, there were 3 other woman I worked with who just sailed through pregnancy like a breeze.
Whomovedmychocolate and everyone else-you have ALL my sympathies and I wish you well!.

Ohhhhhhhh So glad to hear it. All of it. I'm not even feeling that bad compared to everyone. Just got back from the drs who's said 'have a few days off work, you'll feel better next week'. Why? I'm only 24 weeks, I'm not having it this week (I hope!), as far as I can tell next week I'll feel worse, even fatter, more heartburn (though he did eventually prescribe ranitidine), more back pain, sore boobs, sore SI joints and even more exhausted. Yesterday I came in from work, nodded off on the sofa, woke up and nearly cried when I realised I couldn't understand what DD was saying- 2 yrs, and you have to concentrate to get some words. I couldn't understand. Why does pregnancy do this to us? Why do the hormones make us forget how horrible it REALLY is? What kind of nutter am I doing it again? I know,I should be grateful how lucky I am, DH is an angel doing Everything around the house (I washed up 2ce last week), DD will sleep most of the night, we don't have major financial worries right now, but I feel miserable. Actually, I think I'd better go to bed.
Sorry for the rant, just feel soooo helpless, out of control, and ATM bump wriggles aren't making me smile and get over it.
mumofk

this has made me laugh and laugh - thanks guys, it's so nice to know I am not alone, esp. in the farting! DH even had the cheek to say he was sick of me blaming them and my awful mood swings on being pregnant - cue another instant mood swing!

No, we havent met wmmc, we'll definitely have to when I actually decide I dare leave the house again

My cons is Katherine Greenwood and the doc is Dr Redman, both seem nice enough, the cons was a bit scary at first but after a bloody hormonal woman crying in her office about not wanting a CS she became less formidable!

WHOMOVED - yep me too. I am on no 2 child, no 4 pregnancy.

Nauseous, vomiting, diarrhoea, severe headaches, fecking dreadful annoying exhausting insomnia, stuffed up nose, nose bleeds, breath that smells like feaces, yukky teeth, aggggg!

Irritable legs and everything else. Dying of thirst but water makes me boke in the day so end up drinking pints at night and consequently, even if I could sleep, I need to pee about 4 times during the night.

Am so ghost like with red rimmed eyes, that my poor elderly and retired neighbours popped over yesterday to give me their tel no ' Just in case I need anyuthing as they are out and about a lot'! We've just moved here and I have hardly been out as I feel so ill and faint easily - neighbours must think I have some awful illness

I DETEST with a vengence the way I smell - my urine stinks and is all cloudy, I have to hold my nose when I poo (I invested in a swimming nose boggle but have lost it)DD's nappies are vomit inducing. A big black bucket stays by my side.

My SIL fell pregnant 3 months after me with DD and postively GLOWED, lost weight, felt great (after intial yukky feeling), hair was fab, LOST weight!!! Had a great labour

Everyone kept saying 'You've had such a rubbish pg probably your labour will be good' Nope. 36 hours, back to back, extreme vomiting, syntocinon drip, tear, snapped umbilicol cord, theatre.

Then I had the worst constipation EVER. My first poo actually blocked the toilet and I had to fish it out wearing 2 pairs of rubber gloves!!! Then after that it was so bad that DH had to call the GP and I had to get pessaries and anaesthectic cream for my anus!!!!

The joys!! I am trying to focus on July when LO will be here. I would love 3 kids but there is no way on God's earth that I am doing this again. I don't want my DD to be an only child though, so hence this pg.

You feel so guilty feeling like this though, as we are so lucky we can conceive Look at all the people who can't.

I am an EXPERT whinger Just ask DH

Hmm - pregnancy brain too - suppositories not pessaries.

LOL Rumpel, I am on my third, was convinced after my first I'd never have another, then breezed through pregnancy with my second, now I remember why DD was going to be an only child
Thing is, I actually want another after this one I must be mad!

Thanks for this thread. It's made me feel much better. I keep telling DH that I can't remember it being this bad last time - but apparently it was. I was thinking of asking the GP this week if I actually have a terminal illness as I feel so fecking tired all the time, but this thread has reassured me its just normal pregnancy...Who TF thought up the term 'blooming' for pregnancy?

Remember ladies:

'Pregnancy is NOT an illness' - obviously a statement shat forth from a man's mouth

Im almost 30 weeks with baby number 2. Morning sickness this time was so much worse than before, Ive got the worst moods EVER, everything is getting on my nerves and Ive got no patience. Im fed up having to wear bloody stretchy trousers, the most unflattering things ever, and bras that are a touch too big but ''its best that you go with these ones so youve got room to grow''. My 'maternity' combats from dorothy perkins stopped fitting ages ago, and my 'maternity' jeans from blooming marvellous are starting to torture me. I hate my big arse, chunky thighs and swollen ankles.

I cry when the house is messy and if I cant think of what to do for dinner. Im waking up loads in the night, and not getting to nap during the day. My hair is all 'static' and wild, and my scalp is crazy. Im hotter than everyone else and out of breath half the time.

Roll on march!

Any first timers out there - if you are at all worried about labour - I would rather go through the labour again than the pg thing. In labour you can get drugs and it is a much shorter process than pg

I am sitting here pissing myself (with laughter, thank God!) This is my first time. I've felt SHITE from day one, my usually perfect skin is flaky, I could fry chips in my hair, I feel like I'm on board a tugboat in a force 9 gale, I've now got a cold and am coughing up green yuk without the usual Covonia and Lemsip aid. I'm flying to NZ in 5 weeks and might go mental if I'm not feeling just a little better. I think I'm crap at being pregnant but am only 12 weeks today so may be a little early to tell!!

No-one told me about the period type pains! I'm 35 weeks and for the past week have been having really sore cramps on top of the general pelvic pain - is this Braxton Hicks or just the general loosening up of ligaments?

What psses me off most is that DH makes frequent comments about me moaning - which I didn't think I was doing, well not excessively. Thought when he asked how I was I could be honest and say I'm knackered and am in pain...apparently not. And I'm fed up being at work and putting a smiley face on it. I want this baby out and soon, cannot bear the thought of potentially another 6 or gd help me 7 weeks of this.

god, this is funny. I knew pregnancy was a huge big con. At 16 weeks I'm still waiting for the 'i love being pregnant' bit to kick in and now I know it never will LOL!!!

I'm not even feeling particularly ill but I hate the fact that if I stay up late I feel almost hungover the next day because I'm so tired, people asking me if I'm excited (I was when I saw the blue line but that was nearly 3 months ago), telling me that I should eat ginger biscuits (no, my morning sickness is over, thanks).

I also hate the fact that I couldn't drink over Christmas and New Year despite going to various parties etc. I'm not a raving alcoholic but being out with a whole bunch of people who are getting just a wee bit merry and telling me that my sobriety is 'worth it' isn't too much fun.

Oh and I'm really fed up of my cheeks being dry and flaky (and they hurt when I moisturise them?) and having a runnier nose that a pete doherty and amy winehouse lovechild.

MsJJ - of course I forgot, one of the 'benefits' of pg is no period pains for 9 months. I suffer with excrutiating period pains and lo and behold you still get them (but without superstrength nurofen to take the edge off).

Its so good to hear the that I'm not the only one who isn't good with pregnancy. My DH thinks its sad that I don't enjoy it but whats to enjoy?????

1st pregnancy - Pre-eclampsia (in and out of hospital for the whole 9 months and kept in for the last month of pregnancy)

2nd pregnancy - High blood pressure, low lying placenta so bleeding off and on necessitating more staying in hospital. C-section which I hated every minute of but given no choice.

3rd pregnancy - High blood pressure, DVT so twice a day injections and SPD. 2nd c-section which was worse than the 1st due to scar tissue.

Would dearly love another but I would HAVE to have a c-section and I've heard horror stories about 2+ sections so am thinking long and hard about it.

Y'know, suddenly the thought of induction doesn't seem so scary...

The whole business is a pile of poo and I hereby state now, publicly, in front of you all, that I am NEVER going to do this again and, when I meet DD sometime in the next 48 hours, I'm going to kick her up the bum for all the grief she's caused.

And then I'm going to leave the hospital, come home and eat all the mince pies and chocs that the bitch-nurse-from-hell at the hospital told me to stay away from over Christmas.

And then I'm going to win the lottery and invest my winnings into pioneering research that'll mean that men can carry the foetus/foetus can be grown in a handbag.

oh I was lousy at being pregnant

back-ache, all-over-ache, wind and heartburn, insomnia, nasty dry hair, burst capillaries all over my shoulders and chest, swollen ankles...

I didn't glow I festered

Pregnancy sucks. On top of everything else listed above, I'd like to add:

I got a hairy belly, back and nips (I turned in to Monkey Mummy. My DP stroked my back in what I thought was a loving mannner kast week, when in fact he was just trying to comb it flat...
Boobs that itched for 26 weeks
Dropping food down my front, it getting lodged between my enormous norks and then finding said food again, several days later
I smelt of cheese
I cried ALL THE TIME, which was somewhat hampered by the fact that I was simultaneously out of breath ALL THE TIME

I was so pleased not to be pregnant that I fairly skipped down the corridor after DS1 was born (even with the stitches).

And when DP bought a Baby Bjorn papoose thing I refused to wear it, as having a baby strapped to my front is far too like being pg again...

I'd love another LO but just don't think I'll be able to face going it again!

Loving this thread - thank you!!

i love my son with every ounce of my being, i hated every last second of being pregnant, i desparetly want three children but the thought of being pregnant sgain fills me with dread. Cloning???

Victorian Squalor - Katherine attempted and failed to break my waters (amateur ). So did Dr Redman. It took a small delegation of consultants to find my cervix though. Actually I remember Katherine was very nice, although I think I may have booted Dr Redman in the face

my addition to the list of loathing is wtf does it do to your immune system and such like? with ds1 my thyroid stopped working. this time round i've had no immune system, culminating in a 3 week pleurisy centring on the pain in my ribs where the feet of ds2 rest.

and then as i crawled out from under that i tweaked an ankle due to the relaxin and coudn't weight bear for 2 days.

roll on march, roll on never doing it again.

Rumpel yeah - WTF are those BITS in the urine? I did ask the midwife but she didn't know! It's just icky. I always try and drink loads of water first so it looks less like scrumpy but its got a definitely Olde English tinge about it.

My pet peeve over christmas was being forbidden stilton! I made my DH go out after DD was born and find a shop with stilton and bring me some in the recovery room!

Rumpel, that poo thing happened to me too...blocking the loo cos I'd been so constipated to go for days, was while I was PG though. Just stood there and thought...how the fuck am I getting rid of this..what with the perpetual vomiting, there was no way I was lifting it out...yuck. Lol...the one pregnancy story I've never told anyone.
This is a fab thread, I absolutely hated being pregnant, total nightmare of gastric awfulness! Heartburn, vomiting, constipation, wind. Snored for Britain to, from the minute I conceived, dh used to be able to hear me from the front gate when he was on backshift.

Dying to do it again though.

Thanks everyone .

Hilarious thread. I hate this pregnancy lark too. Hate the size I get to, the thread veins, the constant stupid comments from other people, the bras, not being able to see your belt when you put your jeans on, having to lift your leg onto the other leg just to put your jeans on, the breathlesness and the cnstant struggle to get up with a 2 year old whingeing "carry me, carry me". The list is endless. I am only 28 weeks and utterly bored by the whole thing. Am absolutley enormous which doesnt help.