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His mum hates the name I chose

110 replies

Tokyo21 · 28/11/2021 11:43

I’m having my first baby soon ish and have been so stuck on names for my son. I found so many that I like but don’t love if you know what I mean.
Until last week I was scrolling through a list and saw Mars. I felt like this one was the one. Maybe just as a middle name tho bcos I did want something longer as a first name but at the moment it’s all I’ve got.
I told my sons dad and he said he really liked it and even started referring to the baby as Mars. He asked me stuff like, ‘has Mars been kicking?’
Yesterday evening he went his mums house. I spoke to him after he left his mums and he said she hates the name Mars. He told me she said I should ‘come better’ that it’s ‘cruel’ because he will get picked on at school and other kids will call him Mars bar. My sons dad told me he agrees with her and wants me to keep looking at names.
This did make me sad. Because I never want to chose a name that would attract negative attention on my son but it also never crossed my mind that Mars was a name that would do that. I’m aware the name is a little out there but when I hear and see it I don’t automatically think chocolate! Mars is the planet of action and means God of War.
I feel like kids will be kids and can find a reason to pick on anything, it’s unavoidable, and I want to reach my son to have high self esteem and not be phased by it if this was to happen, or has she got a point am I being cruel to call him Mars?

OP posts:
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saraclara · 28/11/2021 13:44

other kids will call him Mars bar.

Yes, of course they will.

If you don't realise that OP, you haven't a clue about kids. You might not think of chocolate, but every kid alive does. And as someone with a middle name that I was teased for all the way through school, the 'it's only a middle name so they won't even know' posters are entirely wrong on that one too.

Jeeze, think of your kid. His names are about HIM and what he has to live with, not you.

DramaAlpaca · 28/11/2021 13:45

I think you have a very sensible MIL. It's really none of her business, but on this occasion you should listen to her.

Sidneysussex · 28/11/2021 13:46

Ummmm really?
How about Marcus with Mars as a nickname? at least your son will then have a proper name as well and you still get to lovingly call him your little Mars bar?

Tulips21 · 28/11/2021 13:55

He will 100% get called ' Mars Bar' Daily.

Flipflopblowout · 28/11/2021 14:10

As long as you are happy with his little school friends in first year calling him marsbar and it following him as he grows up it shouldn't be a problem

Soubriquet · 28/11/2021 14:35

Kids can come up with incredible nicknames too

He will probably get Choccy or something like that

I used to know a William Hare. Guess what his nickname was?

Pubes

William Hare - Will Hare- Willy Hare - Pubes

Onlinedilema · 28/11/2021 14:43

Of course he'd get called Mars Bar. God help him if he is anything other than incredibly fit, slim and toned. Imagine the stick you would get being out of shape and called Mars.
There is always Titan......the Aldi equivalent 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

divface · 28/11/2021 14:51

A mars a day helps you work rest and play

Nah. Sorry

EnidFrighten · 28/11/2021 14:55

A name like Mars will only invite Snickers

Sorry OP, you're giving your child a name to take with them in the big wide world, not just to use in the safe bubble of your family.

saraclara · 28/11/2021 15:04

you're giving your child a name to take with them in the big wide world, not just to use in the safe bubble of your family.

That should be a reminder, in big letters, at the top of the baby naming board.

Topseyt · 28/11/2021 15:06

I wouldn't normally say this, but please listen to your MIL here.

Mars is a dreadful name for a child. He will 100% get called mars bar at the very least.

Consider other vaguely similar sounding names such as Marcus, Marc, Martin, Lars. But please don't inflict Mars on your baby.

Remember that you are not just naming your baby. You are naming the man he will become. He will have to give this name to his potential employers, use it to open bank accounts, apply to university, have it called out publicly at the doctor's surgery.

Don't give embarrassing names.

4amstarts · 28/11/2021 15:24

Mars is dreadful and yes your MIL is right thats it's cruel call him that

verymiddleaged · 28/11/2021 15:25

Mars is a surname, the Mars bar was named after a bloke.
But your dc will be called Mars bar 100 times a day in the UK. You would be ok outside of the UK.

It is also the god of war so that is quite a full on name for a dc to have.

Overall though sharing names with family is best done once dc has arrived and is named, they have had their chance at naming already.

Aurea · 28/11/2021 15:28

I don't want to be negative but I really don't like it and it could cause issues growing up. It may make your child's life just a little harder.....

GinnyBee · 28/11/2021 16:00

No matter what you call him other kids will find something to tease him with. If it's not his name it'll be hair, glasses, short, tall, chubby, thin, something he says one time, something you say one time when his friends are around... You can't protect him from any of that. Choose a name you like and raise him to be kind and confident.

Bluntness100 · 28/11/2021 16:03

I’m not sure this is serious, I can’t imagine anyone really wants to call their kid mars bar.

saraclara · 28/11/2021 16:37

@GinnyBee

No matter what you call him other kids will find something to tease him with. If it's not his name it'll be hair, glasses, short, tall, chubby, thin, something he says one time, something you say one time when his friends are around... You can't protect him from any of that. Choose a name you like and raise him to be kind and confident.
Kids mostly manage to get through school without being teased to the point of bullying. But this name would basically give the worst kids the ammunition to give him hell throughout all of his school life. Why would any parent choose to do that?

And of course he could also end up with a body shape or physical characteristic such as you've mentioned on top of that. Which would make it even worse. There's no either/or here.

viques · 28/11/2021 16:41

@Totalwasteofpaper

It’s definitely fine as a middle name
Unless you decide on Bruno for a first name that is....
viques · 28/11/2021 16:42

@EnidFrighten

A name like Mars will only invite Snickers

Sorry OP, you're giving your child a name to take with them in the big wide world, not just to use in the safe bubble of your family.

And people will whispa about him.
SunshineCake1 · 28/11/2021 16:48

@saraclara

you're giving your child a name to take with them in the big wide world, not just to use in the safe bubble of your family.

That should be a reminder, in big letters, at the top of the baby naming board.

Also, unfair as it is when a child is given a stupid name it reflects on them when it should 100% reflect on the parent who thought they where naming a toy.
wifeyxx · 28/11/2021 16:55

My son has a "different" name. Don't let anyone put you off it! My mother in law gave us grief about it and it was never ending until my son was born! Now she loves it!

We went through a hell of a time with her and my partners dad, especially the fact that they told everyone our baby's name before he was born and we told them not to breathe a word to anyone! (We were only telling parents the name we chose.)

Second baby on the way and no one is getting told the name.

Suprima · 28/11/2021 16:58

I actually really like it, with the right surname. My mind doesn’t automatically go to the chocolate.

I imagine a cool little boy with longish floppy hair.

However I do echo a previous poster- it would be terrible if he was overweight.

SophieHatterPendragon · 28/11/2021 16:58

My friends little boy is called Mars (he’s 2) it’s cute

Piggy42 · 28/11/2021 17:00

I’m with MIL, sorry!

DaisyandSimeon · 28/11/2021 17:04

I'm with your mum on this!

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